“Lady Evelyn! Welcome!”
“Hello, Lady Europa.”
“Thank you so much for indulging my selfish request despite your busy schedule.”
Beneath the gentle sunlight, Lady Europa stood before a magnificent photo studio located in the royal capital. She’d only just been chosen as the new saint and was already seeking my advice.
“I want emotional support to get through my new duties,” she’d told me timidly. “A framed photo with you hung in my private chambers at the Grand Basilica would surely give me the courage I need.”
I hadn’t been able to refuse. Maybe this is similar to that photo Lord Theodore took with Prince Alex... Though I figured it wouldn’t be appropriate for us to pose shoulder to shoulder like they had.
Since I’d moved to the Grand Basilica at only five years of age, I had no memory of ever taking photos with family. I was actually looking forward to today a bit.
“But why is Lord Theodore here too?” Lady Europa asked. “I don’t recall inviting anyone else.”
“I was worried about Lady Evelyn,” he retorted sullenly.
Kira should’ve come too, but Lord Jackson had taken him on a horseback ride to somewhere far away. I missed him already.
“I won’t simply let you take a photo with just her, of course,” he declared. “I’ll be in it too.”
“Ugh! You’re so inconvenient! Be grateful there are no streams nearby!” Lady Europa grumbled.
With nowhere nearby for him to fall into if she pushed him, Lord Theodore seemed bolder than usual. Lady Europa was baring her teeth and growling at him like an animal, but upon noticing me staring, her expression reverted to pure doe-eyed cuteness.
She guided us into the building, saying, “This way, Lady Evelyn!”
We passed through a hall decorated with many family photos and arrived at the studio proper. Dazzling lights illuminated the interior, and an elderly man—the owner, apparently—bowed to us from beside a large magical device known as a camera. The booth was fully set up, and several similar ones were lined up alongside ours.
I tilted my head.
Our booth had a king-sized bed covered in pure-white sheets. Rose petals, provocatively scattered, lay on top. I could smell sweet incense as well.
This...is not what I imagined.
The atmosphere was a little, shall I say, enticing?
“Um, Lady Europa? What is this?” I asked.
“I designed the staging with you in mind,” she replied, enraptured. “I figured vivid, passionate reds would highlight your ethereal silver hair, porcelain skin, and white clothes. Hee hee hee!”
My shoulders were gently pushed, and I stumbled backward onto the soft sheets. “Oof!”
Though I tried to get up immediately, Lady Europa pressed down to stop me. Her long locks brushed against my cheek, and she laughed playfully. I noticed her lips getting closer, and...then her tongue stuck out to lick my eyelid.
Eeeeeeeek?!
I panicked. Never in my life had anyone licked my eyelid.
“W-Wait! Lady Europa, what...?!”
“Oh, Lady Evelyn, I can’t with you,” she said, my name sounding sweet in her heated, breathy tone. “Even while being wary of me, you stay kind...”
Chills ran down my spine as her fingertips stroked my bare shoulder.
“Say, Lady Evelyn,” she breathed, her expression devastatingly seductive, “you wouldn’t protest if something happened...would you?”
M-My chastity! My purity!
At that moment, a voice came from the opposite side, reliably as ever. “Wait, Europa!”
I had no time to feel relieved, however, as Lord Theodore pulled my waist toward him rather forcefully. “Eep!”
His large palm felt hot as it pressed into my skin. His eyes were bloodshot as he gazed at me.
“L-Lord Theodore...?”
I’d thought he was trying to save me, but he looked at me with painful longing, sweat dripping down his forehead.
“Forgive me, Lady Evelyn. You’re just so lovely, I cannot help my impulses...”
“Wh-What are you trying to say...?”
“Please. You must run. Before the stork flies in at breakneck speed.”
“A-A breakneck-speed stork?!”
I wasn’t sure what he meant, but he looked absolutely desperate.
I knew it! There’s something weird about this incense!
Both of them had been behaving oddly since we entered the studio. Granted, Lady Europa was odd to begin with, but she would usually say something like, “It would be far too presumptuous of me to touch you, Lady Evelyn,” and not...lick my eyelid.
Wait, no, maybe she would lick my eyelid. Or maybe not? Ugh, I don’t know anything anymore!
“Mweh heh heh,” came a monstrous chuckle from behind me before I could figure anything out. “Mweh heh heh heh heh...”
I gasped and hesitantly looked back, only to find Lady Europa munching on my ceremonial robes. Drool was pouring from her mouth like a sticky waterfall.
“Ahhh... Lady Evelyn, your clothes taste sublime paired with the sweet essence of your eyelid. Truly the ultimate marriage of flavors.”
Eeeeek!
I tried to flee the bugged Lady Europa by lifting my hips, but on my right side, Lord Theodore was huffing and running his hands through his hair. That was very seductive also.
“Lady Evelyn, I told you to run,” he breathed.
“I can’t! I’m not strong enough to break free!” I wailed.
“All right, ready?” asked the old man after he finished adjusting the magical advice.
Ready? Ready for what?
Sandwiched between the two, I could only open and close my mouth like a fish out of water.
“Look at me, Evelyn,” Lord Theodore whispered from my right as he took a lock of my hair and kissed it softly.
“Lady Evelyn, look at me,” Lady Europa said from my left as she munched away and writhed on the sheets.
The photographer proceeded to take shot after shot of us. When I met his gaze through the lens, he gave me a thumbs-up. What part of this deserved a thumbs-up?!
What is happening?! What kind of photo shoot is this?!
I could not handle this anymore and reached toward the heavens for help.
“H-Help! Please, someone...! Anyone...!”
My fading screams of “Save me, Kiraaa!” echoed through the studio.