The next day, I returned to the mansion, caked in mud from head to toe.
“That was awful,” I grumbled.
A dumbfounded Lord Theodore, Lady Europa, and Cain were all staring at me.
“Lady Evelyn! Where were you?!” Lord Theodore asked. He looked guilty. “We searched the whole town but couldn’t find you anywhere!”
I shook my head weakly.
Cain had probably rushed to the Manilas mansion to call for help, but by the time he made it back to the bog with Lord Theodore and the others, Kira and I were gone.
It’s not your fault, I thought, casting an exhausted glance over my shoulder. It’s his fault.
“Oh,” said the man standing behind me with his arms casually crossed. “Sorry. We got a bit lost.”
That was Prince Igna. And the nonchalant way he’d said that made me scowl.
“‘A bit’?!” I snapped. “It’s been a whole day since I got stuck in the mud!”
“You keep crying over spilled milk. Have some shame.”
Ugh, what a jerk!
Prince Igna had appeared yesterday out of nowhere with his knights in tow and rescued me from the bog. He was five years younger than his brother—my ex-fiancé, Prince Alex. We’d never spoken directly before, but I’d seen him from afar several times. I’d introduced myself and he’d readily believed I was the saint.
Apparently, the Grand Basilica had been in an uproar due to my absence. I’d wondered whether he’d come to fetch me, but when I asked why he’d come to Semme, he’d told me with a perfectly blank expression, “I came to see my fiancée Europa. I hear she’s in town.”
That had been a surprise. I’d had no clue Prince Igna was Lady Europa’s fiancé. So Lord Theodore and Lady Europa aren’t romantically involved after all, I’d thought, relieved.
And then Kira and I had tried to make our way back to the Manilas estate with Prince Igna. Big mistake, that.
Prince Igna is so directionally challenged...
First of all, if he’d been headed for the Manilas estate, he should’ve come from the direction of the royal capital, not through the middle of the woods in the opposite direction. So that had been weird. And then he’d confidently taken point and led us straight into...well, who knew. He certainly didn’t.
I did think it was odd when he said stuff like, “Everyone in Semme knows that you can reach the Manilas estate faster by going through the woods,” and, “Look, an overgrown animal trail. Evidently this is a shortcut,” but...
To make matters worse, his entourage of knights—despite looking exhausted—kept encouraging his nonsense with things like “You’re absolutely correct, Your Highness!” And then everyone had a terrible time.
Fortunately, after an entire day of nonstop meandering, we somehow managed to find our way back to the familiar mansion. I wasn’t sure I could wander the forest for another minute without dropping dead.
Lord Theodore gently grasped my shoulders as I stood there, exhausted and lost in thought. Seeing him look so worried, not caring that his hands would get dirty, made me tear up.
“Oh, my poor Lady Evelyn!” he exclaimed. “I’ll have the servants draw you a bath right away! Please, relax and get yourself cleaned up!”
“Lord Theodore...!”
“And I’ll have them prepare you new clothes. You must be so tired. Have a meal, then please rest in your roo—” And then he was pushed aside. “Waugh!”
Down he went into the stream near the mansion.
Lady Europa took his place and grasped both my hands tightly, her cheeks adorably flushed. “Lady Evelyn, this is so unfair! Even covered in mud you’re breathtaking! Why, this mud is far too lucky! I, too, wish to lawfully cling to your figure! Ah, what choice do I have but to be reborn as mud in my next life?”
“Europa!” Prince Igna called out sharply from behind me.
“Oh? Prince Igna?” Europa replied, tilting her head as though she’d only just noticed him there. “Why are you gallivanting around in a place like this?” She sighed. “It must be nice to be a prince and live in carefree luxury. All you do is play, shit, and sleep on the country’s coin.”
“Ngh...!”
Perhaps out of shock at his fiancée’s harsh words, Prince Igna dropped to his knees on the spot.
Those had been...very disrespectful words toward a royal. I was dumbfounded. Instead of scolding Lady Europa, however, Prince Igna was trembling.
“Y-Your Highness?” I called out, startled, as a large amount of blood began to pool on the ground beneath him.
But the prince only held his nose and looked up with an ecstatic expression. “Oh, Europa, you truly are my ideal woman...!” he said breathlessly.
Gross!
Why was he breathing heavily and getting excited after being insulted? And...his knights were just offering him a kerchief like this was Tuesday. Was he always like this?
Actually, this reminds me of someone...
Lady Europa narrowed her eyes and spat, “You’re absolutely disgusting.”
✦ ✦ ✦
Wait, but you’re the same way!
These two were actually very similar. In fact, they were practically the same when excited. Was that a thing for engaged couples? Did they slowly grow to resemble each other?
As I stood there overwhelmed, Lady Europa ignored the writhing Prince Igna and turned back toward me. Then, she leaped over to stand before Kira, who was next to me.
“Anyway, Prince Igna isn’t important. What’s important is that I owe you an apology, Kira!”
“It’s not a big deal,” Kira muttered, looking down as if desperately trying to avoid eye contact.
Oh, he’s backing away!
Lady Europa mercilessly pressed closer to him anyway.
“Really, it’s not,” he insisted. “So don’t worry about it.”
“Kira,” Lady Europa said softly. “I’m sorry. Also, thank you. Also, I have a question.” She smiled, but her voice turned frosty. “What’s your relationship to Lady Evelyn?”
“N-Nothing special...”
“Is that so? Because I don’t think people with a ‘nothing special’ relationship share a room at an inn. I was so envious that I couldn’t sleep at all last night. How does it feel? To watch Lady Evelyn’s lovely features as she slumbers peacefully? To hear her innocent breathing? How does it feel to sleep in the presence of such marvels?”
“Evelyn?” Kira called out, looking at me for help.
Having my small friend need me like this and hearing him call my name made me so happy. I was quite excited to throw him a lifeline.
“Lady Europa,” I said, “Kira is my first (friend)!”
“I shall eliminate him,” she replied. “Farewell, Kira.”
Eliminate?!
I hastily grabbed Lady Europa from behind.
“Wait! Lady Europa! Kira is my precious child!”
“Huh-wha? L-Lady Evelyn is hugging me right now! I might just die! Wait, am I already dead?! Have I been reincarnated as mud?!”
“Europa!” called out Lord Theodore, who had managed to extricate himself from the stream (again). “Come, I’ll take you to a healer! Don’t give up on life yet!”
He dragged Lady Europa away kicking and screaming. Prince Igna continued to gaze after her passionately. In the face of this absolute disaster, Kira’s cheek twitched, and he let out a huge sigh.
“Is everyone in this country insane?”
He wasn’t wrong. I said, “I think so,” but then he just shot me a glare.
Why?