Earlier…
Tooka had told Hanabi she wanted to talk, so she’d managed to get herself to the storage bay somehow, wiping the tears that just wouldn’t stop. She’d overheard everything from just outside.
Hanabi knew Tooka had deliberately let her hear. What she said made the world spin around Hanabi. She had to lean against the wall for support, struggling to keep herself from hyperventilating.
Why?
After a while, Tooka stopped talking to Kuon and went over to Hanabi. Her face was expressionless, so much so that it made alarm clocks look more approachable. Then, like before, Tooka bowed her head. “I’m the one who hurt your sister—Rin-san.”
That’s not true, Hanabi thought. But she couldn’t speak. She was sure she’d lash out.
Head still bowed, Tooka spoke flatly. “I have memories of my previous life. I was onii-chan’s little sister. But in that life, we never lived together. In this life, too, I’m unable to stay with him, no matter how much I want to.”
Her expression never changed, her voice devoid of emotion, so why were the tears rolling down her cheeks so convincing?
Tooka really, genuinely didn’t want to leave Kuon behind. She hated the idea so much it left her in tears.
Hanabi understood that so much it hurt. She felt the same way.
“But don’t worry,” Tooka reassured her. “When onii-chan is with you, he always looks happy. Hanabi-onee-sama, if you’re with him, I believe the odds of him having a happy life improve.”
“I…”
“Please look after him.” Tooka bowed like a machine and went away.
Why? Hanabi thought. This was all too much. Her head was spinning. She had to make up her mind. Had to make a decision. Had to steel herself.
Tooka had left him in her hands and told her to look after him. But if she didn’t hear the truth from him, she could never truly trust him.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Kuon-kun.”
At the sound of his name, Kuon turned and saw Hanabi.
Her eyes were swollen from crying, clearly beside herself. She wasn’t at all ready for this operation. Kuon didn’t blame her. They were all on the brink. “Hanabi-senpai. Don’t worry. This operation will end everything,” he said, trying to encourage her.
But she just said, “Kuon-kun…” again. Then she asked, “Is it true you have memories of your previous life like Tooka-chan does?”
She finally asked, he thought. But he hadn’t expected it now. He took a breath and then let it out. “Yes.”
Hanabi’s shoulders shook, sobbing. “Then, you were…” She tilted her head down, not looking at him. “You were the Hero?”
He’d kept that to himself all this time. The least he could do was be honest now. “Yes.”
“That can’t be true.”
“It’s true.”
“It can’t be. I mean…”
“I was Suzuka Hachishiki. I remember everything.”
“Don’t—”
“I remember saving you thirteen years ago. I remember dying shortly after. Everything.”
“Why?” she whispered. “Why didn’t you say so? Why didn’t you tell me? When we first met, when we first started working together…that night. This is too cruel, Kuon-kun. Too awful.”
“I’m really sorry. Master told me not to—”
“The headmaster? That’s why you didn’t say anything?” she said, her voice raised in anger.
“N-no, not just—”
“You knew how much I admired you! You knew how much I admired him!”
“…Yeah.”
“But you didn’t trust me with this?”
“That’s not…this was my—”
When Kuon spluttered, Hanabi cut him off, crying. “I mean, I mean, you didn’t say the thing that matters most…!”
She was right. Kuon hadn’t told her. That he’d been told not to was just a cowardly excuse. He’d simply been afraid to tell her. He was afraid it would disillusion her, afraid she would push him away. He’d just wanted to avoid getting hurt, and this was the result. He’d made her cry instead.
She was crying because of him.
“You didn’t tell me anything… You kept it all from me. There was so much I wanted to talk about, but…I always wanted to tell you…to thank you for saving me. I never thanked you properly…so why…why…” Hanabi buried her face in her hands. “Why did you only show yourself to me now?” Her voice was strangled, like it was forcing its way out of her. “I already know I can never be like you…!” Her legs buckled out from under her, and she fell to the floor of the storage bay.
“Senpai,” he said, about to touch her shoulder.
“I’m sorry. I can do this. I’ll do it right. I won’t sully your name. I’ll be fine…” She brushed his hand away, muttering, eyes fixed on the cold floor.
“Senpai…?”
“I’ve always looked up to you. I wanted to be like you…but I can’t be. I’ve given up. But if you’re here now…” She looked up at Kuon—at Hachishiki. The Bushi Hime got to her feet. “We will win.”
“Um, Senpai…? Are you okay…?”
“Sorry… No, that’s not right. Mm, yes. I know. I lost control for a moment there, Kuon-kun. Or should I call you Hero?”
It hurt to see her fake it like this.
To become a hero, Hanabi had unconsciously divided herself into two people, the weaker Maiden and the stronger Bushi. She was forcing herself into the latter role now because that was the only way she could stand upright.
“No, Kuon’s better…but…”
“Right, okay. I’ll go on ahead. See you later.” She turned on her heel and walked away. Kuon was left staring blankly after her, unable to say a word.