Chapter 50:
I Was No Longer Who I Was Before
“HOW DID YOU know I was here?”
He Yu poured a glass of red wine for himself. After pouring another for Xie Qingcheng, he gestured to the woman beside him to pass the drink over.
Xie Qingcheng didn’t take it.
He Yu interlaced his fingers and looked at him calmly. After a moment, he said, “Doctor Xie, if you really want to have a proper conversation with me, it would be best if you finish this glass of wine.”
Suppressing a myriad of complicated emotions, Xie Qingcheng looked down at him from where he stood and tried his hardest to keep his cool. “He Yu, it’s time for you to go.”
“Don’t say that—people might think we have some sort of special relationship.” He Yu smiled. The alluring woman beside him lit another cigarette; surprisingly, he accepted it this time. As he stared unblinkingly at Xie Qingcheng with his almond eyes, his lips parted to take the cigarette. He took a slow, deep drag, then gracefully and unhurriedly breathed it out, dispersing a cloud of gray smoke.
He Yu was a social smoker. When he was networking, he would sometimes accept a cigarette with a shallow smile to blend in. But he didn’t enjoy smoking, and he never touched them in private. Before now, Xie Qingcheng had no idea that He Yu, as someone who abhorred smoking, could hold a cigarette in this effortless, even well-practiced manner.
“Give Doctor Xie a cigarette too.”
The woman lit another cigarette as directed and held it before Xie Qingcheng.
Xie Qingcheng didn’t take it. “I don’t smoke.”
He Yu laughed, pressing the hand holding his cigarette against his forehead. “My god… Doctor Xie, you are really a complete hypocrite, aren’t you. How did I never realize?”
“There are many things you don’t know,” said Xie Qingcheng. “If you leave with me now, you can ask me whatever you want. As long as I can answer, I’ll tell you everything.”
He Yu, who was lazily reclining against the sofa, sat up at Xie Qingcheng’s words. Straightening up, he propped his elbow on the back of the sofa, then nodded with a sigh.
“That’s right. There are many things I don’t know.” He raised his puppy-like almond eyes—though right now, the look in those eyes was eerily cold, more reminiscent of a wolf.
“For example…” Xie Qingcheng prompted.
“For example, the reason why you suddenly refused to keep working at the hospital back then, or why you suddenly began avoiding me as if I were some vicious snake or scorpion…”
He Yu paused. He didn’t plan to mention Xie Xue or the contract to Xie Qingcheng yet. He’d already said enough. What was the point of adding more and further highlighting his own idiocy?
“Xie Qingcheng—” He Yu’s pupils drifted upward as he glanced coldly at that man, pausing between every word he ground out. “I didn’t know about any of this back then.”
Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes. “Is that why you abandoned yourself to this den of iniquity?”
The girls of this den of iniquity lapsed into silence.
He Yu’s smile widened, menacingly revealing the canines that he usually kept hidden. With this subtle change, his normally gentle features became rather sinister.
“First of all, Doctor Xie, this is an above-board establishment which doesn’t deal in sex, gambling, or drugs. The girls who work here are beautiful and attentive in their service, but that should be of no consequence to you. If I spend a hundred thousand yuan on a bottle of wine, I’d hardly expect to be served by a bunch of hideous trolls. Secondly, Xie Qingcheng, may I ask why you always hold yourself in such high regard?”
Xie Qingcheng was silent.
“Just who do you think you are? Don’t tell me you think that no matter where I go or what I do, it’s all because of you?” He Yu’s smile disappeared, leaving behind only storm clouds in its wake. “Professor Xie, I know that older people like to put on airs. Plus, you’re quite a successful professor, so there are always plenty of students chasing after you and fawning over you. You feel like you’re on top of the world, right? It makes sense that you’d get used to being treated like a big shot wherever you go. I get why a middle-aged person like you might have that kind of problem. But just so we’re clear, I only do things when I feel like it.”
He Yu tapped away his cigarette ash and leaned back, resting his other arm against the back of the sofa. “It has absolutely nothing to do with you.”
Only then did Xie Qingcheng notice He Yu’s bloodshot eyes and his sickly, discolored lips. He Yu was in an even worse state now than during the severe flare-ups he’d had in the past. Xie Qingcheng’s heart lurched.
He Yu often had a high fever during his flare-ups, and Xie Qingcheng knew his symptoms better than anyone. He subconsciously reached for He Yu’s forehead to check his temperature.
He Yu’s hand snapped around Xie Qingcheng’s wrist. He didn’t appear to be exerting himself, but despite his lack of expression, his fingers tightened with a force that brooked no refusal.
“Mm. If you have something to say, then say it properly. There’s no need to get physical,” he said, gazing at Xie Qingcheng. “I don’t think we’ve ever been so close that you can touch me however you like.”
Xie Qingcheng’s arm slackened, and the light in his eyes gradually dimmed.
The two of them stayed deadlocked for a spell before He Yu loosened his hold and Xie Qingcheng lowered his hand.
“He Yu,” Xie Qingcheng said eventually. He turned away to avoid He Yu’s dark, icy gaze. “Regardless of whether you believe it or not, the things that I said back then… They weren’t about you. I wasn’t talking about you.”
“What things?” He Yu feigned confusion, dipping his head in thought. Then he grinned. “Oh—‘I don’t think dying for the sake of a patient is worth it, and to be murdered by a lunatic would be such a waste it’d be laughable.’ Well said. You have a point. Why would you need to explain any further?”
He looked around and continued mildly, “Don’t tell me there’s a lunatic among us? Shouldn’t those people be shut away, locked up in cages and restrained, treated with electroshock therapy, and force-fed medicine? If it comes to it, it’s best to cut open their skulls and slice through their nerves. How can we possibly allow them the freedom to breathe fresh air whenever they please? Don’t you agree?”