A knock on the door pulled Belle back to consciousness.
She looked around, confused.
Where am I…?
She was in her room, in Park City’s Central East Town, in the eastern Solist barracks. Incoherent thoughts boomed inside her head.
Why am I here…?
Her room was a mess. The windows and curtain were closed shut. Sunlight filtered lazily into the dim room. The hour was shifting from yellow to red. The light was crimson—an hour that struck her as extremely unpleasant for some reason.
What? What am I thinking? I shouldn’t be thinking this…
She shook her head slowly, dazed, but numbness still clung to her mind. She could tell she was on a bed. Just how long was she like this, hugging her sword against her shoulder…?
Cut…
Curled up and hugging her knees?
Her backside hurt, so she tried moving her body a little. It relieved the pain, but that only made her more lethargic. Where had Kitty the Nothing gone? She couldn’t remember the last time she saw him.
The thought of Kitty the Nothing instantly made her think of eating. Food. Maybe she’d overslept because she hadn’t eaten much. She turned her eyes to the dining table. Through the open door, she could see the dining room floor, where plates were scattered haphazardly.
I’ve got to clean those up, Belle thought. She wondered why her eating utensils were on the floor in the first place. Cut. Eating utensils on the floor. She noted that there was hardly any wind today.
Can I…cut…?
She realized there was no wind because the window was closed and decided to start from there. By opening the window, and…
I can’t cut…
Pick up the sword and…
Where was I trying to go…?
She had to clean up the plates. She tried to recall the last time she had anything to eat. Her skin was sticky with sweat, and she didn’t have an appetite. Opening the window—
Another knock on the door yanked Belle out of the swirl of her thoughts. She sluggishly turned her eyes to the corridor leading to the front door. The door was wide open.
“Who’s there?” she asked.
“It’s me. Do you have a moment?”
Belle didn’t feel like she actually spoke, and had the reply not come, she wouldn’t have been sure if she’d said anything. That was how disconnected her speech felt from her thoughts.
“Who…?”
“… It’s Benet, Belle.”
His voice sounded hurt, but it felt like the voice came from a great distance.
Her mouth seemed to speak of its own will.
“What, do you need something?” Belle asked in a voice that grew louder as she listlessly looked down at her clothes. All she had on was one long shirt, nothing else. She wasn’t sure where her clothes were. She glanced at the dresser, examining the wooden texture. It was covered in countless ripples. She followed one line on the wood, which connected to another, then another. She wondered why she was doing this.
Opening the window. She’d start from there, and then…
Cut…
She gripped her sword tightly, causing the leather wrapped around the hilt to make a dry, crumpling sound. With no target to use it against, Belle’s eyes blazed savagely, darting around in search of one.
“Belle…?”
She regained her senses again. A sigh left her lips. Her body relaxed from the tension that had filled it. Someone was saying something on the other side of the door. Who? She slowly remembered.
“I came to check on you, Belle. Could you let me in? I have those maisen tea leaves you like and some of the dried flower one. Or would you prefer hop ale? I brought both.”
“What?”
She got out of bed sluggishly. With her right hand gripping her sword, she focused on the door.
“Hop ale, Belle. I know you don’t like alcohol, but you did like this one…”
“No, I don’t mean that. Why did you bring this stuff? Did I ask you to?”
Dragging her sword along, she walked to the front door, the tip of the blade scraping along the floor.
“I came to see how you were. I brought some pease fruit flesh, too. I got some quality ones. All sorts of other things, too…”
“Why?”
“Pease are in season right now. It’s around this time of year their leaves change color. I bought some that were picked from the fields just this morning.”
“What are you going on about? Why did you come here? To check on who? What are you here for?”
“You… You’ve spent half the season shut up in your room. Haven’t you? So I thought—”
“Half a season? What are you talking about?”
What am I…?
“You participated in that battle… Remember? You asked Guinness for it.”
“And it’s been half a season since then?”
Cradling her head with her left hand, she leaned against the wall. She could tell by Benet’s voice that he was getting impatient. Her other hand naturally clenched. It was grabbing something. A sword.
Can I cut…?
Belle had dragged her sword all the way there—but she wasn’t sure what for. Her eyes moved regardless of her will, glaring at the door. She shook her head. She didn’t know why she looked like this.
There was no wind because the window was closed. She’d start by opening the window.
She picked up the sword.
“I’ll cut.”
“—Belle, what?”
“No…nothing. So what do you want?”
“I’m here to check on you, Belle. You look like you’re sick.”
“Sick? No, I’m not. Why would you…think that?”
“Because you’ve spent half this season… Never mind. I brought you all sorts of things. Things I don’t typically take out, but I thought you must be wanting for some variety with your diet.”
“Don’t do that. Stop it. What’s wrong with you? I’m fine. Yes, I do feel…a little under the weather…but I’m fine.”
“Can you spare me a bit of your time, then? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“Talk…about what? I’d rather not. Please.”
“You just look so depressed recently…”
Benet’s voice finally trailed off behind the door. He could sense Belle’s state even without seeing her. But Belle just couldn’t find the words to describe how she felt, to an extent that was just as shocking to her. She was clearly not her usual self. She never imagined stumbling over her words like this.
Do it like you always do…, Benet thought, holding back from speaking those words. Gently, come now. Like you’re whispering…
“So I thought I’d come visit…”
But then he became alarmed. His triangular ears stood up, twitching in apprehension. His one eye was wide as it stared at the door sorrowfully, like it could see through it.
Through the subtle changes in the air, he could feel bloodlust on the other side of the door. He could tell Belle had lifted her sword. His right eye, which was his only functional one, already saw everything hazily. After losing his left eye, the other was bound to deteriorate from overexertion. And the last thing it would see was—
This is terrible, Benet! The other Benet, hidden deep in his heart, screamed in a panic. Don’t; stop! You don’t need to do this. What is it about this girl that drives you to go this far…?!
Through the door, he could tell Belle had raised her sword. What for? Against whom? He had to say something—or else…!
Like a storm brewing silently.
Yes, his ears could keenly pick up on it.
Only you can do this, Benet.
He remembered Guinness saying that.
This is a Mermaid’s fate, Benet.
The light you’re losing… Even sacred ashes can’t heal it.
It doesn’t matter. This made me stronger. I’ve become stronger, gained much, freed myself from the curse of my heart. I…!
Are you sure? You really will lose it. You can still turn back now—
If I don’t do this now, what did I grow stronger for? I did it for this, this moment… Otherwise, this strength is meaningless!