The bull-kin all had animal ears like Elpaco. Every now and then, their ears would twitch in a way that highlighted how bestial they looked. Because, you know, they…had the heads of bulls. “Me?” he said. “I’m Tancelot. A soldier, obviously. So hey, we have the same job.”
“Heh. Yeah, guess so. Pleasure to meet you, Tancelot. You work sentry duty?”
“Yeah. We found footprints of someone sneaking into our town last night, so we posted lookouts just to be on the safe side. But sometimes that’s what a soldier’s got to do, am I right?”
“Aw dip, that sucks. I’m sorry to hear that!” I kinda was, actually. Those were definitely our footprints, and now poor Tancelot was stuck with extra work.
“Oh, I don’t mind. Once they found those footprints, they started running us through some really tough combat drills. It was kinda fun.”
“Wow. Combat drills, huh? I’d love to learn more about minotaur battle training. Getting into sparring might be fun, if we get a chance.”
Oops. My interest in martial arts was showing.
“What is this ‘sparring’?”
“It’s like when you do fighting, but for fun. Could be with fists or weapons, doesn’t matter which.”
“Oh! You mean bullfighting? That can be fun, but I’m not very good at it, personally. Our chieftain is a master of fighting like that, though.”
So their leader is a good bullfighter, huh? And also they called sparring “bullfighting”? That…that was pretty great, actually. Props. I grinned.
Just then, another strong breeze swelled and dropped over and over again as we relaxed on the rocks.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“The wind is acting really strange today.”
My Alexandricia must have gotten annoyed and ordered Nishka to send me another signal.
“Woooooo! Boy howdy, sitting on a rock really hurts when you’re naked,” I said, trying to keep it cool and natural as I stood up and positioned myself so the village chief and her retinue could get a good, hard look at my horngus before I both-handed it. Just a bit longer. Look at me veil the scungle for God’s sake.
“You know,” I said, “how I came up to you guys stark naked to show I was unarmed and wouldn’t resist? I’m glad you all understood what I was trying to convey. Aren’t we all really just beautiful buck-naked creatures in this wild world of ours? Really makes you—”
The other minotaur was not having it. “Stop fidgeting like that! Stay still!” He jabbed his blade sharply into my butt cheek and I quickly sat back down. The sex-negativity in this place, I swear.
After a little while, a long line of minotaurs marched out of the cave.
There was a particularly large oxman in their midst, and I guessed that was their leader. I wanted to believe that a group of civilized minotaur could be led by anyone, but Tancelot had told me their leader liked bullfighting, so I knew I had probably guessed right.
But no—couldn’t be. It had to be the slender man in the opulent clothes. He was more slender than the other minotaurs, but in a cut, svelte kinda way. He had the sinewy build of a martial artist.
“Our leader stands before you. Rise!”
I rolled off the boulder to my feet and was instantly surrounded by about thirty minotaurs.
“You’re the messenger the humans sent?”
“Yes. I am here on behalf of my governor, the Lady Alexandricia.”
“Oh, yes? Hrmph.”
“I am most grateful that you would deign to see me in person, chieftain. We would be most appreciative if you would allow our own chief to hold discussions with you—uugh!”
Someone knocked my legs out from under me, forcing me to fall at the minotaur chieftain’s feet. I groveled before him, totally naked.
“Hrmph. Why not? We are an open-minded people, and tolerant of our barbarian neighbors.”
“Thank you for your graciousness, lord. Thank you so much.”
The discussions went thusly:
First, the minotaur chieftain, attended by several guards, advanced into the space between the group from the village and the group of minotaurs.
I accompanied him to the spot, then waved my white flag in broad swings to signal the village chief. Then, as we had discussed at the very start, our sweet Alexandricia strode forward alone, her bearing conveying a kind of forthright honor…while Nishka stood near with her bow, ready to lay down cover fire if we needed it. If it came to it, Wak’wakgoro would join in.
The clan chieftain and village chief squared up.
“I am Knight Commander Alexandricia Jumei, who governs this region of Apegut Forest. It is right and just that you agreed to our request for parlay.”
“When a barbarian chief bids me come, I come. I am Tan-Claude Van Damme, and I command this clan. You may call me Tan-Claude, if you wish.”
They both extended their hands and shook.
It was like looking at a full-grown man facing off with a tweeny-bopper Disney popstar. The oxman Tan-Claude towered over the village chief, but she showed not the faintest sign of being intimidated. A smirk played at the corner of her mouth.
I was noticing a pattern, though. As Nishka would describe it, these guys all ran with the Tan clan.
“Ha ha ha!”
“What do you find so amusing, Lady Barbarian?”
“I never thought I’d see the day when a clan of minotaur would call me a barbarian!”
“Hrmph. You may well think so when you look at other clans, but we are different.”
“Shooter has already told me. You have neighborhood upon neighborhood of lovely houses, you’ve decorated your walls with colorful designs—why, you seem prosperous indeed.”
“Who is Shooter?” Tan-Claude cocked his horny head in confusion.
“That naked man there,” Tancelot said. He had accompanied his leader as one of the guards.
“Hrmph. You, eh? So you’re the one who snuck into our settlement yesterday.”
Startled, I looked away, finding a moment to fiddle with my junk.
“He is the greatest warrior in our village. Moreover, he has been a hunter as well as an adventurer. You could say he’s our secret weapon.”
“No matter. Hrmph. What are your demands?”
“As we said earlier, this territory belongs to me. You have apparently taken it upon yourselves to build a magnificent city within my domain. As the ruler of this land, I cannot simply overlook such a trespass.”
“And what do you intend to do about this thing you simply cannot overlook?”
“When did you build your city in this cave?”
“Three years ago. Until that time, we lived on the other side of the mountains, using ogres for labor. We were attacked by a giant wyvern, and then we stumbled across this cave and decided to take it as our new home.”
“A wyvern, eh? Our village has suffered similar attacks, as well. So you were refugees?”
“One might say so.”
I felt like I’d heard this story before. Had the wyvern that attacked our village been harassing this clan of Tans, too?
“Nevertheless, no governor can blithely pardon such an act.”
“Does your pack of barbarians plan to attack us, then?”
“That,” Alexandricia chuckled, “might be fun.”
The huge oxman who had come along with Tancelot started to reach for the sword at his hip. In response, I quickly swung my staff into a ready stance.
“Leave it, Tandalus!” the chieftain barked. “I apologize, my words were ill-chosen. I meant, what would you like to do about this? Are you telling us to leave?”
“I don’t care much for dancing around a subject, so I’ll speak plainly.”
“I would like nothing better.”
“Our rules require that anyone living within our borders must pay a tax. If the tax is paid, they are allowed to stay in our lands. Territorial leaders have a reputation to uphold. If I were to let you trespass without recompense, the governors in bordering lands would see me as weak.”
“Hrmph.”
“Naturally, I do not intend to make any unreasonable demands. One might say that we want nothing more than friendship and the opportunity to make future exchanges. And no doubt you would find it inconvenient to have the city you worked three years to build brought to shambles by a ‘pack of barbarians.’”
Alexandricia issued her demand coolly, while still giving Tan-Claude a glimpse of the situation on our end. The option of ignoring the minotaurs so long as they paid a reasonable tax was pretty clever—downright encouraging, in fact! Alexandricia would be able to keep face in front of the other governors while maintaining friendly relations with the minotaurs. Considering she had been talking war before, this was a practically mild-mannered solution.
Tan-Claude appeared to be mulling her offer. He crossed his arms and snorted “hrmph, hrmph” to himself a few times. “What fascinating terms you offer. But you are barbarians. What proof do you have that you won’t go back on your word?”
“There is a custom that has been used in such situations since ancient times,” the village chief said. “A bond of trust can be formed between two communities via marriage. We will each offer up a pledge: someone from my party and one of your relatives. We will send each to the other’s people, where they will join their new kin in marriage.”