“Whaaaat? You really know Dricia, Mr. Slave?” When I showed Yoi the letter of recommendation Gimul had given me, her glittering eyes practically popped out of her head.
“That’s right, Miss Yoi. I didn’t expect it, either. Would you mind telling me how our village chief is related to you?”
“Dricia’s my auntie. But she gets mad when I call her that because she says it make her feel like an old lady, so I just call her Dricia.”
“Wow. She’s really your aunt…”
With a few more questions, we found out that the chief of the settlement outside Apegut Forest originally lived in a village near town, and her mother was from a community of spellcaster goblins living in the city.
To wit: the village chief and my former mistress were aunt and niece. Yoi and Gimul were cousins.
“You guys look nothing alike.”
“No duh, Shooter. The village chief is Gimul’s stepmom, remember?”
“Oh yeah! Then I guess the only thing Gimul has in common with a goblin is what a hulking mountain of a guy he is.”
“Anyway,” said Yoi, interrupting our erudite conversation, “I didn’t know Dricia was a village chief out in a frontier settlement.”
“Hey, hold on a sec, baby girl.”
Nishka and I exchanged a look. I was sure I’d been told that Alexandricia married into the village ten years ago. Did that mean…Yoi was only pretending to be a little girl, and was actually a lot older? Was this one of those gross “really 700-years-old” things?
“Pardon me for asking, Miss Yoi.”
“What is it, Mr. Slave?”
“May I ask how old you are?”
“I’m nine!”
Thank God. She was a real kid. But then, when had Yoi met the village chief? That was an issue.
“Have you ever met Alexandricia, Miss Yoi?”
“Mmhm! It was five years ago. Dricia came to town to talk to some special person, and I met her then.”
“And that was the first time you had ever seen her?”
“That’s right. She had a real big kid with her. That’s when I accidentally called her auntie.” Yoi trembled, as if just remembering the slip of her tongue was bringing back some nasty social anxiety. Why do we always remember that stuff? As for the giant son, that must’ve been Gimul. I could imagine assuming Alexandricia was an older lady if you knew she had a kid his age.
But the village chief must’ve really let Yoi have it for implying she was an ‘auntie’ instead of a ‘miss.’ If we were talking five years ago, that meant Alexandricia would have been just over twenty-five, which I suppose is pretty hard to read if you’re just a kid yourself.
“You want me to write a letter to Dricia, Mr. Slave?”
“If you don’t mind, please. We would greatly appreciate if you could tell her that we’ll be bringing a group of settlers back to the village with us three days from now, along with some adventurers working as escorts for the group—temporary residents, nothing more—as well as one new hunter.”
My former mistress nodded seriously. “Got it. Settlers going back in three days. Some adventurers escorting you who are going to stay in the village. One hunter.” She pulled a scroll of hemp paper from a jar on a nearby shelf and brought it back to us along with a small writing desk. From the desk she took a quill and ink, then she hunched over and began to write the letter.
“Three days from now, settlers depart. Adventurer escorts will stay in village. One hunter. Mr. Slave and Boobsy are doing well…”
“Hey, girl! Did you just call me ‘Boobsy’?”
“Hmm? Oh no, Nishka, never. You must’ve misheard!” Yoi folded the paper and held it out to me. I could tell she was trying hard to act cheerful for me.
“Where is Mari?”
“She had temple work to do, so she’s at the chapel. I’m all alone at home today.”
“That’s very grown-up of you, Miss Yoi.”
“He he.”
I stroked Yoi’s hair and my former mistress looked pleased, but an instant later her face turned desolate again. “Are you sure you won’t forget about me, Mr. Slave?”
“I could never possibly do such a thing, Miss Yoi. My master may have changed, but in my heart, I will always belong to you.” Wait, what was I saying?
Nishka looked pretty shocked, too, but she was nice enough not to say anything.
Yoi nodded. “There’s a job I have to do, so I can’t go back to your village in Apegut Forest with you…but when our scheduled quest is over, I’ll come to you.”
“I deeply appreciate that, Miss Yoi. And please tell Mari that I earnestly hope she will also become a resident adventurer in the village going forward.”
“Okay, I will.”
We clasped hands, then departed Yoi’s mansion.
“You okay?” asked Nishka. “We got outta there quicker than I expected.”
“I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t want to drag it out. I’m just…sad, y’know? And it’s not like we’ll never see each other again.”
“Ah, gotcha. I was worried there.”
“About what exactly?”
Nishka’s expression became unusually solemn as we exited into a bustling street. We were planning to go shopping for all the things we would need for our trip home.
“About Yoi, of course. She looked pretty burned up. I think she’s got a huge crush on you, old man.”
Ugh, kids. “Miss Yoi is the grand old age of nine. I’ll be decrepit by the time she’s old enough to even know what a crush is.”
“Ya look younger than you are, though. So when she’s the right age, I bet you’ll have aged like a, what’s the sayin’, a fine cheese. Maybe with a little fungus on it, definitely smelly.”
Now I was getting a little cheesed. “That’s not funny. I have a brand-new wife waiting for me back in the village!”
“Good, keep yer eye on the prize. If ya start talkin’ about gettin’ new wives this soon after ya got married, Cassandra would be pretty mad.”
“I wouldn’t blame her!” Wait, hold up. New wives? Did that mean… “Uh, question. Do we, uh, do bigamy around here?”
“Depends. You rich? Because more wives gives ya more taxes.” Her eyes lit up. “Oooh! Oooh, you should marry the village chief! Land that hottie and you won’t have to pay taxes at all!”
Yeah, it did sound like a rich people thing. Whatever—after all this mess, I was looking forward to a nice, calm newlywed life!
Nishka and I did lots of shopping in the few hours we had left in town. For one, I wanted a few more changes of clothes. I knew better than to rely on one; as soon as my good clothes got ripped, I’d wind up being buck naked again. We went around to different secondhand stores and I bought up all the clothes I could, just so there wouldn’t be a repeat of the Loincloth Incident.
Nishka bought a few blouses in her usual style, but these were all new and not yellowed with age like her current one. I also bought some cloth for Cassandra. And while I was at it, hey, why not some apple cider vinegar and honey for cooking? That sounded like a nice wife-type thing.
When the third day came at last, we gathered at the branch office of the adventurer’s guild in the morning. Before heading over to where all the settlers were standing, we met up with Nishka’s receptionist friend.
“I’d like you to meet someone. This is the fellow being dispatched to the Apegut Forest settlement.”
“Hey there. Name’s Camulla.”
“I’m Shooter. I hope to get to know you better.”
“And I’m Nishka the Scalesplitter. Look forward to workin’ with ya.”
Basil scampered around my feet, weaving in circles. Nishka picked him up for me, then he turned to look at us.