Chapter 4

Book 2 An Urgent Request from Steam from Another World The Great Giggling Battle For as long as I can remember, I have somehow been able to hear the voices of books. Library books have quiet voices and speak in whispers. The books in secondhand stores are relaxed and cheerful, as if they’re talking over tea. And the books stacked up in the new-releases section of the major bookstore in the station building are overflowing with energy, chattering like recently hatched chicks. “Read me! I’m very interesting!” “Come and read me! You won’t regret it!” “If you read me, you’ll be moved to tears!” They all simultaneously make their claims. “Read me!” “Buy me!” “Read me!” “Be my first reader!” Standing in front of the lively new-publications section was a pale figure of a man, looking like a spirit that had just emerged from a graveyard. Huh? That guy was here yesterday, too, wasn’t he? He was still young and appeared to be in his mid to late twenties. But since he was here in a bookstore in the early afternoon, wearing a sloppy shirt and pants, he couldn’t have been a salaryman. With lanky limbs and a thin body, he seemed as if he could have been blown away by a stiff breeze. His expression was timid and apprehensive, darkened by nerves and restlessness. When I first saw him the day before, I had wondered if he was there to shoplift, but he didn’t seem to have the disposition or the physical strength to do anything bad. Instead, he seemed to be putting all his effort into drawing his body in smaller, as if physically apologizing for his existence. The books were ardently addressing this man, and I could hear chattering from a pile of light novels that had just gone on sale yesterday. “Mayu Mayu, are you all right? Did you eat a proper meal today?” “Cheer up, Mayu Mayu! I’m sure someone will buy us.” “You can do it, Mayu Mayu! We’ll do our best to get bought!” A chorus of voices that sounded as though they belonged to girls in an anime cheered for “Mayu Mayu.” On the other hand— “Please buy us!” “We’ll make your heart pound and give you a thrill!” “Come on, make me yours!” —they were hawking themselves, mostly to male customers, like indie pop idols trying to sell CDs at a merch table. They had also sparked my curiosity yesterday, but Princess Yonaga had rebuked me from inside my bag: “Musubu, let’s go home at once. You’ve got me, so you don’t need any more books, do you? I’ve cursed your eyes to rot in their sockets if you stare at the cover of another book for more than three seconds. If we don’t leave this store immediately, your eyes will start to decay into mush, and then you’ll never be able to read me again.” I hadn’t lingered. But today, Princess Yonaga was back home in my room. “You’re planning on cheating on me, aren’t you? Not on my watch!” She had been upset about it. I tried to put her in a good mood, bringing my face so close to the indigo cover that the frame of my glasses nearly touched it, then whispering to her that that wasn’t true, that she was the only girlfriend for me, but she just pouted. “Don’t even try. I’m cursing you!” Anyway, I couldn’t help but be curious when I encountered the same customer who had caught my eye the day before, in the same place for a second time. Today, as yesterday, I could hear female voices encouraging him from the pile of newly published light novels. “Mayu Mayu, yesterday someone took one of us home!” “We’re doing our very best to call out to the customers so that they pick more of us up!” “Oh gentlemeeen! We’ll show you all our most embarrassing parts! Take us home and enjoy us at your leisure!” When I peeked over in the direction of the voices, I saw a pile of books with a picture of girls soaking in a hot spring on the cover. All the girls had towels wrapped around them, but they were exposing most of their chests and barely keeping their breasts hidden, or they were sitting on rocks with their plump thighs crossed one over the other or were sticking their legs up out of the hot spring water. Sexy poses all around. One of the girls was blonde and had an air of nobility; one looked like a gallant lady knight; and one looked like a soothing older-sister type with a nice body and ears that tapered to a point, along with a devilish tail growing from her backside. Another girl had cat ears and a flat chest and wore a blank expression. Last was a girl with glasses, soaking in the hot spring while wearing a large tricornered hat on her head. The title of the book was a total cliché : Steam from Another World The Great Giggling Battle—How a NEET like Me Reincarnated in Another World, Used My New Superpowers to Excavate a Hot Spring, and Formed a Harem! It caught my interest, since it was a genre I didn’t usually read, and when I went to take a look, the books suddenly made a commotion. “He’s looking!” “He’s looking at us with paaassion!” “A student? Middle school? High school? We’re not R-rated, so you can use your allowance to buy us!” “Take me home with you! I’ll really make your heart pound!” They tried to sell themselves. Aside from the girls, I felt the clammy sensation of someone’s eyes on me. Turning to the side to look, I locked eyes with the lanky man they had all been calling “Mayu Mayu.” He looked surprised and quickly averted his eyes. But perhaps my presence made him uneasy, because he kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. “It’s all right, Mayu Mayu. I’m sure that Glasses Boy is going to buy us!” “That’s right, Mayu Mayu. He’s been staring at us hungrily.” Hungrily? I don’t remember looking at you that way. At this point, I realized something important. The author’s name, written right below the title, was Mayu Sasaki. Mayu? Mayu Mayu? Aha! “By any chance, would you be Mayu Sasaki?” When I asked this of the fidgety man beside me, he leaped into the air as if he were in some kind of comedy sketch, went deathly pale, and stammered, “H-h-how do you know that I’m Mayu Sasaki?” He loudly blurted out his question, then clapped both hands over his mouth. Then his shoulders drooped, and he began slowly rocking back and forth. “I… I said it. From my own mouth.” Ah, maybe that was the wrong move. “I’m sorry; it’s just that I happened to see you here yesterday, too, so I wondered if you might be the author.” “Ha-ha…ha-ha-ha-ha… It’s unseemly, isn’t it? Loitering around the new-releases section because I’m worried about sales. I’m sure people would be put off if they knew that the author who goes by the cute pen name Mayu Sasaki, also known as Mayu Mayu, was actually a shabby old man… Hnnnnngggg, you’ve got to keep this a secret!” Mayu Mayu bowed repeatedly. “My real name is Asatomu Sasaki, but I thought using a lady’s name would draw in more male readers and increase sales. I even planned ahead and made up the adorable nickname Mayu Mayu. But the writing style and story were obviously from an old man, and now I’ve been found out. A guy like me trying to channel a sixteen-year-old high school girl is just cringey. Please don’t post about this on social media or anything.” “Mayu Mayu, you’re exposing your own secrets again.” “You told him all about your ploy.” Mayu Mayu was getting light-headed from bowing so much and was starting to stagger. I assured him that I wouldn’t be posting on social media and that I wouldn’t tell anyone. “R-really? Thank you, thank you. In that case, um…if you like, um…well…” He must have a very reserved personality. He didn’t seem to be able to work up the courage to ask me to buy a copy, and he simply stood there fidgeting while red in the face. In his place, the books Mayu Mayu had penned called out to me. “Buy us!” “Buy us!” “Well then…since I came all this way.” When I picked up a copy from the pile of books, his face lit up like the sun. “Thank you! Ah! I’ll sign it for you. What’s your name?” “Musubu Enoki. Um, I haven’t bought it yet, so…” “Wah! You’re right. Okay then, I’ll sign after you pay. Yeah, I brought my signing pen and everything.” “…Uh-huh.” If I take home a signed book, Princess Yonaga is going to blow up. Not to mention that there are five half-naked girls in alluring poses on the cover. “Cheating on me…shall not be tolerated. Not ever.” Her cold voice played in my head as a shiver shot down my spine. But I couldn’t exactly break it to Mayu Mayu that I wouldn’t be able to buy his book or that I didn’t want his signature just because of how she would react, especially when he was so overjoyed. Ten minutes later— With my copy of Steam from Another World The Great Giggling Battle—How a NEET like Me Reincarnated in Another World, Used My New Superpowers to Excavate a Hot Spring, and Formed a Harem! in hand, complete with a message and signature written on the inside of the cover in pink pen reading To Musubu Enoki, from Mayu Mayu, I sat drinking tea in the dining section of the nearest convenience store with the author himself. “Sorry I couldn’t take you to the pancake place with the long line. I don’t get my royalties on the book for two more months, so finances are a little tight. I’ve been living off bean sprouts all week.” “You know, I can pay.” I set the hundred yen for his iced coffee on the table, but he pushed it right back at me. “No, no, no! I can’t let a fan pay for more than the book!” he asserted passionately. Since when am I a “fan”…? “Besides, this was the first time I’ve seen someone buy my book with my own eyes since I started my career as an author seven years ago. To think that it would bring me such joy!” “Seven years? You’ve been doing this for that long?” “…My books don’t sell at all, but I publish one every year.” Mayu Mayu’s shoulders dropped heavily again. The book he had made out to me and signed said encouragingly, “Chin up, Mayu Mayu. If the books sell, you can put out a sequel, and you’ll have income and stability once they get turned into a series. Then you can eat until you’re full!” He sounded gloomy. “I’ve been thinking of this book as my last chance. When I was a student, I won lots of prizes for my writing, so I kept right on doing it and didn’t look for another job. But I think I’ve reached my limit. I’ve mostly given up at this point.” “Oh no.” “Aaaaaah, but I packed this book with foreshadowing and stuff pointing to a sequel, even though I don’t know whether there will be one or not! Hnnnngggg, I’m such a dummy! Of course they’re going to ax it after the first volume, right? I pulled my readers into another canceled series, urgh. Hang on, do I even have any readers? Do I? Readers?” “Th-there’s me,” I offered, despite my better judgement. “I’ll read it. Since I’m a fan.” Mayu Mayu took my hand in both of his and squeezed firmly, then pumped it up and down several times. “Thank you, thank you, thank you……” “Musubu, thank you. I’ll take good care of you!” Getting thanked by both the author and the book at the same time was a very rare experience, so I was glad to help. But I knew I would have to keep Princess Yonaga from finding out. “…You smell like another woman.” Eep! As soon as I stepped into my room back home, I heard a cold voice from atop my bed. Spread out beside my pillow was a lace handkerchief. On it, a book with an indigo cover lay in wait—my unfathomably jealous girlfriend, Princess Yonaga, emanating an icy aura from the thin body of her book. Inside the school backpack hanging from my shoulders was a brand-new, signed copy of another book, addressed in my name. All along the way home, I had impressed upon the book that no matter what happened, she must not say a word, that it was in her best interest to keep quiet. “Musubu, you can talk to us, huh? I’m still new to this world, but you’re the first person like that I’ve met.” Steamy (that’s what I had decided to call the book) was surprised by this, but she seemed to have an obedient nature and swore that she understood, that she wouldn’t talk at all, that she would be silent. Despite those reassurances, the second I entered my room, Princess Yonaga sniffed her out. Should I play dumb or get down and beg forgiveness…? “Huh? What are you talking about? Don’t be silly. There’s no way I would be distracted by other books when I have you, Princess Yonaga.” Of course, I couldn’t tell her that not only had I been distracted but I had even gotten my name written in the book. All I could do was feign innocence. “…Musubu, you sound even more insincere than usual when you lie.” I jumped in fright again. Starting to sweat, I answered as sincerely as I could muster. “Is that so? I don’t think that’s true.” “And your nose twitches.” “Huh?!” I covered my nose in a panic. “Your eyeballs dart around, and you sigh before you speak, and you tilt your head a little to the side, and you try hard to look sweet.” “Huh? Huh?” Am I really that easy to read? Or are Princess Yonaga’s powers of observation on another level? Come to think of it, tilting your head and smiling sweetly before telling a lie is something a con man would do. “There’s another woman in your bag… She smells of the bath salts at a hot spring…” “B-bath salts, huh—? Princess Yonaga, you’ve never taken a bath, have you?” “It’s similar to how you smell when you get out of the bath…” “That’s because the bath salts we use at home are from a line put out by a famous hot spring.” “Did you get in the bath with a book who’s not me? Did you give her a little peep show?” “What are you talking about?!” Welp, guess my cover’s blown. “Cheaters…will not be tolerated… I’ll curse you… I’ll dance on your grave!” Ah, now she’s entered “darkness mode.” “I curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse, curse you! Musubu, tomorrow when you wake up, this land shall be transformed into a hell of rampant pestilence… And all because you were unfaithful!” “I wasn’t! I wasn’t unfaithful, really! Ah, I think it’s almost time for dinner, so I’m going downstairs, okay? See you later.” I said this with a smile, then descended the stairs while carrying my backpack. In the living room, I let out a sigh and gently unzipped my bag. “Sorry, that was probably pretty scary. But she won’t bite. I think.” I spoke to Steamy, who was huddled in the bottom of my bag. “Musubu, your girlfriend really is the controlling type, huh…? That’s gotta be rough. I feel for you…” She sympathized with me. But that wasn’t all. “I’ll heal your pain for you, Musubu. Come on, today you can read me to your heart’s content.” Ah geez, she’s so nice… Who wouldn’t feel their heart skip a beat at such an innocent suggestion? By no means was I suddenly ready to give my heart to a new girl. Yet, that evening, I read through Mayu Mayu’s newest publication in the safety of my big sister’s vacant room—she was off studying at a university in Hokkaido. The main character in the book, a NEET and a recluse, slips and dies in a bathhouse, then is reincarnated in another world, where he excavates a hot spring and becomes a hero who is popular with the ladies. The story follows the title exactly, and it was a fun and easy read. “Whoa, this book has great pacing.” “Doesn’t it? Doesn’t it? Mayu Mayu always stresses so hard over choosing the right words so that he can tell his story in short sentences. That way, people who aren’t great at reading and people who are tired from the day can read his books comfortably.” “The plot developments come quickly, and even as I’m reading the story, I’m anxious to find out what’s coming next. I really want to see the main character mow down some bad guys!” “That’s coming up soon! And after that, it’s time for him to enjoy being with the princess!” “Princess Elaina is so graceful and innocent and lovely!” “My favorite character, the cat girl Tiara, is so standoffish at first, but she softens up and even sits on his lap and lets him pamper her, and it’s suuuuuuper cute! I highly recommend that part.” “Huh, seriously? I want to read that right away!” “Sure, read on, read on!” It was fun to pass time chatting with Steamy as I turned the pages. All the girls in the story were cute, and I was impressed by the way the book established different tastes, preferences, and backgrounds for each of them. The love with which the author had carefully written each character really shone through, making me feel all warm and fuzzy. I felt I now understood why Mayu Mayu had been so concerned about his books. “Wow! That was great!” Having finished reading it in one go, I stretched both arms out while still sitting cross-legged on the floor. I felt energized. Even my body felt lighter. “Wasn’t it?! Mayu Mayu’s books are the best in the world!” “I definitely want to read the sequel! There was a lot of foreshadowing in there.” “I’m sure lots of copies of this book will sell, and he’ll write many more!” We both discussed how much we were looking forward to it, and it was really fun speculating with Steamy about future plot developments. When I returned to my own room to sleep, Princess Yonaga greeted me with a frigid remark. “…Musubu, you stabbed me in the back…you filthy cheater!” At least, that’s what she said, but… I wasn’t cheating. It’s okay to read other books sometimes… The next day after school, I went to the same bookstore inside the train station, together with Steamy, who was in my bag. I wanted to give Mayu Mayu my impressions and let him know that I had a lot of fun reading his book and that I was looking forward to reading the next part of the story. I figured he would probably be there again, fretting over his sales. As expected, Mayu Mayu was in front of the same table in the new-releases section. But while he had been fidgety and restless yesterday, today he stood there bearing an expression of full-on despair. He seemed as if he was about to go jump off the train platform or dive from a high building. “What’s wrong?” “M-my books are—” Now that he mentioned it, I realized I couldn’t hear any voices cheering Mayu Mayu on. When I glanced down at the table, I realized the entire display was different—his books had been replaced. The space had been filled with a long-awaited new release in the Hard-Boiled High Schooler: Suzuhito Narihira series by popular author Kaito Suzunomiya. Wraparound ad sleeves adorning the books proclaimed that both volumes would release at once, and the table was buried under a staggering number of copies. The Suzuhito Narihira series was quite popular, having already been adapted into dramas and anime series several times, as well as a movie. Apparently, this was an especially noteworthy release, since the first new book in two years was going on sale in conjunction with the airing of a drama adaptation, so the bookstore must have stocked up in anticipation of record sales. It looked as though they had taken down the other new releases to make space. “I’m certain there’s just one copy of my book left as a placeholder on the shelf, and the rest have been returned… Aaaaagh, it’s only the third day since the on-sale date, but of all things, I had to compete with the newest release of the Suzuhito Narihira series? And to top it all off, a simultaneous release of a two-parter? Young readers only have so much pocket money to spend, and no one’s going to have anything left over to buy my book after they buy two volumes of Suzuhito Narihira!” The Suzuhito Narihira books were flying off the shelves even as Mayu Mayu threw a fit. Some people were buying two copies each of the first and second books, and a few were even grabbing three of each. Cool and confident voices echoed from the stacked-up books. “Yeah…you’ve been waiting for me!” “Come on, I’ll let you read me! I’ll make you restless with intrigue!” “Hey now, if you don’t hurry up and buy me, I’ll sell out and you’ll be in tears!” Beside the shelf, a pale Mayu Mayu grumbled to himself. “I’m finished. Another cancellation. And it was my first new book in a year, the one the editing council had been waiting six months for… They won’t publish my next one, since they never go anywhere…” “Don’t say that—other bookstores probably have your books on display for sale, don’t you think? And besides, people can order online.” “That’s right, Mayu Mayu. Cheer up!” Steamy and I both tried to encourage him, but Mayu Mayu was drowning in negativity. “Did you know? When you enter a title into the search bar of an online bookshop, it displays the sales rankings in real time. When I looked earlier, the new Suzuhito Narihira volumes held first and second place, and my Steam from Another World The Great Giggling Battle—How a NEET like Me Reincarnated in Another World, Used My New Superpowers to Excavate a Hot Spring, and Formed a Harem! was ranked one thousand three hundred fifty-secooond!” One thousand three hundred fifty-second place? That is harsh… “To top it all off, its single precious review is a one-star rating that says, ‘The writing is choppy, and there are too many paragraph breaks. The plot is lascivious wish-fulfillment garbage. The cookie-cutter heroines are boring. It’s in bad faith for the author to include so much foreshadowing when we don’t even know if there will be any future volumes. The one star is for the illustrations.’ Waaah!” “How cruel! That person must have hardly read it! All of Mayu Mayu’s novels are fantastic—we’re very, very interesting!” I found myself agreeing with the book wholeheartedly. “I read your newest book yesterday, and it was really, really fun!” I insisted. “The heroines were all so adorable and attractive that my girlfriend accused me of cheating! I couldn’t put it down, and I read the whole thing before I realized it!” I put real effort into my review, but Mayu Mayu’s shoulders still drooped. “It’s fine, really… I had a feeling things might turn out this way… Why did I bother with so much foreshadowing…even though it was clear as day that there wasn’t going to be another volume? Aaaugh…I’m sorry, I’m sorry for the foreshadowing…!” Completely overcome by anguish, Mayu Mayu seemed as if he was going to crouch down on the spot despite the fact that he was in public. To be fair, making a comeback at this point would likely be difficult. But I want to see how the story continues and get to know more about its charming heroines! I don’t want him to give up in the face of one stupid, nasty review! That’s right: I’m a voice for books—and I want everyone to read this light, refreshing story. Just as he had gripped my hands the day before, I took both of Mayu Mayu’s hands in mine and squeezed them. “If your book sells, you’ll be able to put out a sequel, right? In that case, let’s sell them! It’s not over yet! Let’s do everything we can!” At lunch the following day, there was an unusual commotion in the cafeteria of Seijou Academy. The son of the school’s chairwoman, third-year student Haruto Himekura, who served as the director of the orchestra club as per family tradition and was nicknamed the Campus Prince, unexpectedly graced the cafeteria and sat on the terrace. “Huh? No way! Haruto’s here?” “This is the first time I’ve ever seen him in the cafeteria. Doesn’t he usually get expensive meals delivered and eat them in his private room in the music hall?” It went without saying that he attracted a lot of attention because of his family, but with looks like his, he would have stood out even if nobody knew his name. The star student on campus proceeded to buy coffee from the vending machine. That somehow won him even more attention. “Whoa, Himekura drinks vending machine coffee?” “I thought he was a tea person. I heard he likes Darjeeling.” “He’s so cool! Just watching him on the terrace drinking coffee, it’s like I can see the scenery of Paris stretching out behind him.” When Haruto took a paperback from his jacket pocket and held it up in such a way that the cover was clearly visible, even more sounds of surprise reverberated throughout the room. “!” “!” “!” On the shocking cover, with an anime-style illustration that included a cat girl, a demon lady, and a blonde princess soaking in a hot spring bath with towels wrapped seductively around their bodies, was printed an even more unbelievable title: Steam from Another World The Great Giggling Battle—How a NEET like Me Reincarnated in Another World, Used My New Superpowers to Excavate a Hot Spring, and Formed a Harem! “A harem?” “The Great Giggling Battle?” “Reincarnated in another world…? Superpowers…? A hot spring…?” The bustling cafeteria fell silent, and whispers rippled through the students like waves. “Haruto is reading a light novel!” “And it’s the cutesy fantasy type?!” Students went running from the cafeteria, spreading the news. Everyone wondered what on earth had gotten into the pedigreed prince of the school. “It’s terrible! Haruto is reading something called The Great Giggling Battle in the cafeteria! It’s an isekai story!” The news spread online, too, with pictures to boot, and then other students who had heard about it that way surged into the cafeteria and made a huge commotion. “He’s really reading a light novel!” “It’s The Great Giggling Battle!” “A steamy hot spring harem!” Haruto pretended as if he didn’t hear the uproar going on around him and gracefully turned a page. Steamy was utterly ecstatic to have her pages turned so gently by his long fingers. “This guy’s way of reading is so gentlemanly and amazing… Plus, everyone is looking this way. I’m getting tingles having my pages turned while so many people are watching!” she mumbled. The day before, after declaring to Mayu Mayu that there was still something we could do, I had returned to school and waited for the orchestra club to finish practicing so I could approach Haruto with a proposal. “Haruto, I have a request! Please read this book somewhere where as many people as possible will see you!” He had stared at the long title and the cover with the girls bathing in their tiny towels without the slightest change in expression. “Musubu, you know there’s no way I can turn you down when you make a request with that earnest face of yours, but this time you’re really going to owe me.” I nodded to myself. I’m just not going to think about what he’s going to want in return. The voices of the students swarmed around me. “I wonder if that light novel is really all that interesting? Maybe I should try reading it, too.” “I ordered it online a second ago.” “I’ve got to swing by the bookstore on the way home.” “I’ll buy it, too!” And—