“And that’s why you’re all…”
“That’s true for some, but you’ll find all kinds here. Myself? I’m not in it for the money,” the man with the broad shoulders asserted.
Mathias remembered what the man had said earlier. “Of course, your wife and children.”
“I was sure they’d come on ahead, you know. Then I hear they hadn’t been able to find a wagon. So I’ve no choice, gotta clear the Titans if I’m to see them again.”
“Seems there’s people from Fuerth here too, the poor. In no small number,” the plump man added in his shrill voice.
“I can see the attraction. You’re guaranteed some money, and if you slay a Titan you become a hero.”
“Damned fools, the lot of them.” The man with the broad shoulders stared ahead, eyes brooding. “They ain’t seen it. Only reason they can talk like that.”
“Do you mean you did see? A Titan, attacking somebody?”
“Didn’t just see it─I’d be dead if I’d been two wagons back.”
“Wow…”
Mathias’ thoughts jumped to Rita. Right. There was a chance this man knew if she was safe or not.
“What about soldiers? Garrison soldiers. Were they there with you?”
“They were. Why do you ask?”
“How were they…doing?” Mathias tripped over the words.
The man looked puzzled, but narrowed his eyes as though tracing his memory. “They were doing all they could. Fighting hard to protect us. I was watching through a gap in the tarp, mind, so I can’t say for sure. Even then…” He faltered there.
“What?”
“I heard that most of ’em died. Can’t say I’m surprised. It was hell out there.”
The Titans were said to devour their victims indiscriminately. This man had no doubt witnessed such a sight firsthand. An image briefly formed in Mathias’ mind of Rita writhing in agony, but he quickly pushed it away and asked the man another question. “How about a young female soldier with blond…short blond hair. Did you see anyone like that?”
“I don’t think so. Mind you, would’ve been the last thing on my mind. I think that was true of all of us.”
The three men regarded Mathias with what were now grave looks. They had doubtless guessed his predicament.
The plump man opened his mouth. “The soldier, she a friend?”
“Yes. A friend.”
“There’s a lot here like you,” said the broad-shouldered man. “People who’ve had a lover or family killed, volunteering with a mind for revenge.”
“Doesn’t mean they’re better than us. I’m volunteering to support myself, so I don’t have to beg in the streets,” the hawk-eyed youth muttered irritably.
The man with the broad shoulders nodded. “You’re free to do as you like.”
“But,” Mathias, a thought suddenly occurring to him, inquired of the broad-shouldered man, “how can you do this─after having survived such a traumatic experience?”
“I see it the other way around.” He brought his muscular shoulders up in a shrug. He had probably held a job in manual labor. “It’s because I did that I know I’ve got to fight, to make sure my family never has to go through what I did.”
After that, Mathias thanked the three men, then added himself to the back of the line. It went without saying that he had decided to volunteer for the operation to reclaim Shiganshina. As part of the campaign, he could travel outside the wall. That meant he might be able to reach Quinta. Unlike the man with the broad shoulders, Mathias wasn’t interested in taking the fight to the Titans first. His most pressing need was to ensure Rita’s wellbeing. He hoped, if possible, to bring her back to Fuerth where things were─at least for now─safe.
The sun grew lower, spreading longer and longer shadows. The volunteers and buildings were slowly fading into uniform darkness even as Mathias stared at them.
He suddenly came back to his senses.
Did he really need to go this far? It was true that he treasured Rita as a friend. She was the one person in the world whom he could wholly trust. The one person who accepted him for who he was. He felt secure with her.
In other words, he was in love.
The unshakeable truth revealed itself for the first time at precisely that moment.
Yet some cool-headed part of him began to blare out words of warning: So what? Are you going to let some fleeting emotion get the better of you? Let it go. Live in accordance with your status.
However he looked at it, his second thoughts were on the mark. Even if Rita felt the same, they could never end up together. Even if he brought her back from Quinta, after facing the greatest of dangers his only gain would be “to have saved a close friend,” a mere trifle. Wasn’t it better to remain in Fuerth, to submit to his father, to learn the business at his side and to prepare for the future? He was the heir to the Kramer estate, the future head of the family. To put himself in physical danger, and all for the sake of one girl─there was no behavior more self-centered, so completely unrelated to serving the people.
And yet… Mathias couldn’t bring himself to walk away from the line. If anything he was getting fed up with its slow progress.
Rita’s image refused to leave his mind. He was beside himself with worry that she was badly injured or suffering from hunger. Mathias would get to Quinta by hook or by crook. The feeling came like a premonition. It was as though a stranger were determining his actions, his decisions.
Perhaps I’m not qualified to inherit the Kramer name.
So be it.
The sun had set, and lights began to flicker through windows.
Mathias’ only fear was that they might announce they were done for the evening. This didn’t happen─instead, his turn came around faster than he’d anticipated.
Three soldiers sat behind the long desk. The setup allowed three volunteers to stand together before them. A bonfire crackled behind the soldiers, casting light over the volunteers’ faces.
A sullen-faced soldier with striking white hair dealt with Mathias. He had to be Jörg’s age, but was in far better shape. The slight redness of his nose was perhaps the result of regular drinking.
“Another refugee?”
“Yes.”
As a result of conversing with the hawk-eyed youth, the man with the broad shoulders, and the plump man, Mathias had lost the nervousness he’d felt talking to people so clearly unrefined. All three had most likely had their applications accepted without a hitch. Mathias realized now that they’d been good-natured people. They’d even gone so far as to show sympathy for his plight.
“Name, age, previous employment, health issues.” The white-haired soldier didn’t look up from his papers.
“Kramer, Mathias. Fifteen. Previous employment…” Mathias stumbled to an unwitting halt. How to explain it? He’d never done any work per se. He accompanied his father when buying supplies…studied methods for handling negotiations…helped put documents together. What could he say to include all of that? “Um…assistant, in a merchant association. No health issues.”
“Uh huh. Okay, I guess you can help with some of the logist─” For some reason the white-haired soldier broke off there and put down his pen. He peered slowly upwards. “Did you say Mathias Kramer?”
“I did.”
“Hold there a moment.”
The soldier got up from his seat. Keeping his eyes on Mathias, he flagged down a subordinate who was passing by and muttered something. The subordinate, also looking at Mathias now, said something in return. The white-haired soldier nodded, then came back and lowered himself into his seat. A soldier at his side with weirdly thin eyebrows peered across, looking as though he had something to add, but the white-haired soldier simply shook his head: Leave it to me.
Mathias balled his hands into fists. What was going on? Was there some kind of problem? Was it his age? Did he need parental consent? He’d seen other youths his age getting their applications approved without issue. Was he getting worked up over nothing?
The white-haired soldier found a document from one of the piles on the desk and, taking care to bring it up in a way that hid the contents, started to flip through the pages. Eventually his hand stopped; his eyes flicked a number of times between Mathias and the sheet. Finally, he spoke.
“I’m sorry, you’ll need to go home.”
Mathias’ blood boiled then froze. “Huh?”
“You’re not…qualified.”
The soldier’s tone had clearly changed. Why?
“That doesn’t make any sense. I’m obviously in better health than the people who were just here. I saw there was a woman before me, too! You accepted her! Why won’t─”
“I’m afraid I can’t say. You will need to leave the line.”
“The impertinence!”
Just who do you think I… Mathias had begun to say the words when it dawned on him. It wasn’t that the soldier didn’t know who he was. It was the other way around. It was precisely because he knew─or had been informed─who Mathias was, that he was refusing to accept the application.
“Father…”
Reading his son’s thoughts was nothing for the chairman of the Kramer Merchant Association. It should have been no mystery. Hadn’t Jörg’s incredible talents helped him reign as one of the town’s magnates?
Mathias drew a long breath, letting it slowly out.
“I understand.”
“We’d welcome you, ordinarily,” the white-haired soldier added, looking apologetic. “But I’m afraid the result would have been the same whoever was sitting here.”
Which meant the instruction had been sent out to every section of the Garrison: Turn down Mathias Kramer’s application. With that, Mathias knew that his plan of traveling to Quinta by joining the campaign was practically finished.
He gave the white-haired soldier a returning nod and took his leave.