I did it again…
After the opening ceremony, which in the end I was never able to attend, I depressingly made my way to the educational affairs department to report the incident that took place and treaded wearily along to my new classroom.
Histeria savant syndrome.
I just called it “hysteria mode”, but when the amount of intra-cerebral beta endorphins secreted during times of romance exceeded a certain level, about thirty times the normal amount of neural transmitters were used as a medium to drastically accelerate the activity of the cerebrum, cerebellum, spinal cord—the central nervous system of people with this trait. As a result, when a person entered hysteria mode, one’s ability to perform logical thinking, make good judgments, and even fast reflexes increased dramatically, and then this and that happens and…Well, to put it simply, when people with this trait were sexually aroused, they temporarily entered a super mode, transforming them into a completely different person. I was back to normal now, but I was pretty depressed about having entered hysteria mode in front of a girl, namely Aria. Normally, this condition was something that needed to be kept a secret from others—especially from females. Females were very frightening creatures…
In order to leave behind offspring, males instinctively became more powerful to a greater or lesser extent when protecting a female. Hysteria mode was an extreme example of exactly that. Whether it was because of those male instincts or not, I wasn’t sure, but when I went into hysteria mode, the drawback was the bizarre mentality I adopted towards females. First off, I would get the urge to protect a girl at any cost. If I came across a girl in a bind, I’d want to use my prowess as a means of having the girl desire me as I fought for her. The second problem was what I really couldn’t stand. I’d start to act and speak in an overbearingly flamboyant manner in front of that girl. This was also tied to the basis of hysteria mode, which was the instinct to “leave behind offspring”. The intent was to act like a guy that a girl would find charming, but…in hysteria mode, I’d treat females with kindness, flatter them, console them, and casually touch them. I became such a horrible gigolo that just thinking about it afterwards made me want to die. But it was the girls that were really scary.
If I recall, the worst was back when I was in middle school. The middle school affiliated with Kanagawa Butei High. Some of the girls who learned about my condition found out that they could take advantage of me. They would perform all sorts of mischief to force me into hysteria mode and work me like a dog. Some would use me as tool of vengeance for being bullied. Others would have me punish a teacher for sexual harassment. In other words, I was made to be their self-righteous “hero of justice”. Then you’ve got a girl like Shirayuki, which was a problem in itself…
And so, I left my hometown and came here to Tokyo Butei High School to take the entrance exam. That morning, renown as I am for my bad luck, Shirayuki just happened to come crashing into me in the hallway and fell down in the process of running away from some ill-mannered guys who were giving her a hard time. It was the kind of incident that would come straight out of a comic book. In any case, I wound up going into hysteria mode here as well. So I beat the hell out of the punks who were chasing Shirayuki and ended up whispering sweet words to her and gently consoling her until she stopped crying and calmed down. Ever since then, her naturally oppressive nature seemed to go into overdrive. But the thing is I wanted to go through life with as little contact with women as possible…
Magazines and DVDs of “that” nature didn’t really pose a problem. I wasn’t interested in that sort of thing anyway, and more importantly, all I had to do was keep myself from looking at them. It didn’t work that way with real life girls, though. They had bombs hidden within their blouses as well as underneath their skirts and they were walking around all over the place.
Damn it, I sure inherited one hell of a problematic disorder.
Curse this troublesome, annoying, and extremely embarrassing ability—this wretched, detestable ability that caused the downfall of my older brother.
“Teacher, I want to sit next to him.”
At the very first homeroom for the second year students assigned to class A, I nearly fainted when misfortune befell on me. That girl with the pink twin pigtails was also assigned to class A, and suddenly pointed at me while making that statement. A brief silence fell over the class, and then the eyes of every student homed in on me all at once.
“Oooooooh!” they all cheered.
Me? I fell right off my chair. All I could do was sit there speechless.
“Hee hee,” laughed the teacher. “Well then, let’s start off by having the cute little girl, who transferred to our school in the third semester of last year, introduce herself.”
Our teacher’s briefing gave me a very bad feeling. The short little girl who sat up from a desk outside of my field of vision and stepped onto the podium was indeed Aria H. Kanzaki. With hysteria mode having already worn off and me back to my normal self, I couldn’t think of what action to take and sat there trembling, half afraid that I might get shot at right there in class.
“I want to sit next to him,” Aria said abruptly.
“W-what for?!” I whispered to myself with a voice that finally became functional. It couldn’t be because she wanted to use me as a “hero of justice”. I’m pretty sure she hadn’t figured out about my hysteria mode. Did she take a liking to me? Doubtful. After all, not too long ago, she was enraged and had her weapons pointed at me to the very end. Does this mean she plans to sit next to me and slowly but surely end my life?
“This is great, huh, Kinji?! I’m not sure what’s going on but it looks like spring has come your way! Teacher, I’ll switch seats with her!” The large guy sitting to my right shook my hand up and down like a secretary to a candidate and left his seat smiling from ear to ear. This guy with spiky hair and a height of nearly one hundred and ninety centimeters was Goki Muto. He was an accomplished student in the Logi division who often took us to the site when I used to be in the Assault division. From scooter to rockets, he had the ability to pilot anything that could be called a vehicle.
“Oh, my. High school girls these days are quite assertive, aren’t they? Very well, Muto. Trade seats with her.” After looking at Aria and I in turn with a happy expression on her face, the teacher quickly gave her consent to Muto, who knew nothing of the circumstances between us. It finally got to the point where the rest of the class started sending their applause.
You’ve got it all wrong! I don’t know anything about her. What’s more, she’s the violent girl who was shooting her gun at me just a while ago! Take it back! Take it back, I say!
Just as I was about to make such a protest to the teacher, Aria spoke up.
“Kinji, here's your belt.” Out of the blue, she called me by my first name and tossed me the belt that I lent her in the gym storehouse.
Now that I took a good look at her, it became apparent that she acquired another uniform because both the top and bottom half were brand new. As I caught my belt, another member of the class spoke up.
“I get it! I know exactly what this is! He triggered a flag!” exclaimed Riko Mine, standing up from her seat to the left of Kinji. “Kii-kun isn’t wearing his belt! It was in the possession of Miss Pigtails! This is quite the mystery! But I’ve figured it out!”
Riko, who was almost as short as Aria, was the number one ditz of the Inquesta division. Her Butei High school uniform, which she diabolically modified into a mess of frills, was evidence of that. I believe they called that fashion “Sweet Lolita”. “Kii-kun” by the way, was the eccentric nickname by which this eccentric person called me.
“Kii-kun did ‘something’ that required him to take off his belt in front of this girl! Then he absentmindedly left his belt in her room! In other words…these two are in the midst of a hot and passionate romance!” Mine, with her naturally curly hair done in dog ears and flailing wildly, asserted her idiotic deduction.
Romance? Are you serious?
But then again, this is Butei High—a stomping ground for idiots. The entire class immediately filled with excitement.
“W-when did Kinji start dating a cute girl like that?!”
“I always thought he didn’t have much charisma!”
“He’s been secretly doing that sort of thing?! The guy doesn’t seem interested in other people in general, let alone girls!”
“How indecent!”
Aside from the general courses attended by groups of students assigned to specific classes, the students of Butei High also participated in specialized courses, which were akin to club activities so that students weren’t divided by class or year. This was why most students here were familiar with each other. Still, these guys were getting along way too well considering it was the start of the new semester. At times like this…