I grabbed onto the hem of her skirt in an attempt to stop her, but a few kicks in my direction set her free, and she jumped down into the office with her skirt fluttering wildly. Shirayuki, Tsuzuri, and I had a look of shock on our faces. I couldn’t see from up here, but I’m pretty sure her skirt turned up a lot farther than what would be deemed appropriate.
“I’ll be her bodyguard!”
Taken aback by Aria’s words, I couldn’t help but lean forward...
“Whoaa?!” I screamed as I fell towards Aria.
“Uaah!”
“Oof!”
Aria was as flat as a pancake for a moment, but she threw me off soon enough.
“K-K-Kinji! Don’t press that idiotic face of yours against me! Especially not there!”
While Aria was yelling at me with a deep red face, Tsuzuri lifted her off the floor by the back of her collar. As I was getting up, I was suddenly lifted up by the front of my collar as well, and Tsuzuri threw both of us against the wall.
I can’t believe how insanely strong she is.
“Hmm? What do we have here?” asked Tsuzuri, squatting down and looking into our faces. “Well I’ll be. It’s the two lovebirds from that hijacking incident the other day.”
Tsuzuri inhaled deeply on her cigarette and audibly cracked her neck twice with a faint smile on her lips as she looked up diagonally into the air. This gesture of hers was a dangerous sign.
And don’t call us lovebirds.
“If it isn’t Aria H. Kanzaki. Dual Government pistols and two short katanas. Alias: Quarda. An S-rank butei who was active in Europe. But it looks like all of your exploits are officially recorded as achievements of the London Bureau of Butei. It’s because you don’t know how to cooperate with others, you dolt.”
Tsuzuri grabbed one of Aria’s pigtails by its base and continued discussing her profile while getting a good look at her face.
“T-That hurts. And I’m not a dolt. Noblewomen don’t boast of their exploits. Even if others claim them for their own, we won’t deny it!” answered Aria, unflinching and bearing her cuspid.
“Is that so? You only wind up losing out with that sort of social status. I’m glad I’m a commoner. There was something else ... Oh, right. You can’t sw-”
“Aaaaah!”
Tsuzuri was about to say something, but Aria flung her arms around and cut her off with a loud shriek. Additionally, she had turned bright red and her mouth was rapidly opening and closing.
Sw? What’s that?
“T-T-That's not a weakness of mine! I’m fine if I just put a ring buoy on!”
Oh. Aria, you just gave it away.
Shirayuki, who was still stunned by the sudden commotion, didn’t seem to pick up on it, but I understood perfectly.
You can’t swim. Haha. I just learned something useful. Good job, Tsuzuri!
“And over here ...” Tsuzuri let go of panicky Aria and looked at me, who was imagining Aria drowning in a kiddie pool, “... we have Kinji Tohyama.”
“Um ... I didn’t want to come here, but Aria went and ...”
“Unsociable personality. You have a tendency to distance yourself from others.”
It would seem that Tsuzuri had data on every student here in that head of hers, which she was using to recall information on me.
“However, there are many students in Assault who regard you quite highly, and it’s believed that you possess some type of latent talent. If I’m not mistaken, the cases you’ve solved are ... searching for a cat in Aomi, the hijacking of ANA flight 600 ... Why is everything you do on such a small or grand scale?”
“Don’t ask me.”
“Your weapon is a illegally customized Beretta M92F.”
Uh-oh.
“It’s capable of firing in three-round burst or even full automatic. Why don’t we just call it the “Kinji Model”?
“Uh, the thing is ... it was destroyed during the hijacking incident. Currently, I’m using a cheap model I bought from the U.S. armed forces. It’s in conformation with the law of course.”
“Oh? I’ll bet you’ve already asked the Armed (Equipment) division to customize it for you, haven’t you?”
*Sizzle*
“Ow!”
Tsuzuri, showing me the feat of being able to laugh while angry, had just pressed the end of her cigarette into my hand! Unbelievable. It was just for an instant so there was no burn mark, but what teacher would dare give her student a cigarette burn?! In any event, this lady seemed to know everything.
“So? What exactly do you mean by ‘I’ll be her bodyguard’?”
Aria scrambled to her feet as Tsuzuri turned towards her.
“I meant just what I said. I’ll be Shirayuki’s bodyguard twenty-four hours a day with no remuneration!”
“Hey, Aria ...!”
Why are you volunteering to be Shirayuki’s bodyguard? If anything, you’d be one to assault her.
That’s what I communicated with me eyes, but Aria had made up her mind.
“... Hotogi, I’m not sure what’s going on, but it looks like an S-rank butei is willing to guard you for free,” said Tsuzuri, sending the hem of her coat flapping as she turned towards Shirayuki.
“I ... I refuse! It would be appalling to have Aria next to me all the time!”
The brows under Shirayuki’s perfectly straight bangs furrowed with anger, showing me the exact reaction I expected.
“If you don't let me be your bodyguard, I’m going to shoot this guy!” declared Aria, pulling a silver Government out from underneath her dark-red skirt and placing the muzzle against my temple.
H-Hey! Butei Charter, Article Nine! Article Nine! Buteis aren’t supposed to kill people, Aria!
“K-Kin-chan!” cried Shirayuki, placing both hands over her mouth.
Aria had an evil smile on her face that seemed to indicate everything was going according to plan.
“Hmmm. I see. So that’s the relationship you all have. Well? What are you going to do Hotogi?”
I don’t know what Tsuzuri found amusing about all of this, but she smiling openly.
That’s not the issue, is it? Do something about this gun in my face!
“O-O-On one condition!” Shirayuki exclaimed with clenched fists beside her thighs and her teary eyes closed tight. “Kin-chan has to act as my bodyguard too! Twenty-four hours a day!
Shirayuki’s tearful voice echoed within the office.
“I’m ... I’m going to live with Kin-chan too!”
Something possessing a shape very similar to myself flew out of my body.