Damn it. I’d love to yank down on that as hard as I can.
“…Hee hee…peach bun pyramid…”
Aria must have been in a deep slumber because she was talking in her sleep and I could hear her drooling.
Man, this is irritating. Pyramid? What the hell is she talking about?
This was my apartment. In a situation like this, there shouldn’t be any need to be considerate to a vicious trespasser, but the fact of the matter was, Aria, who had changed into some light, pink camisole-like pajamas (are those what you call negligee?), was in my bedroom, pistols at the ready. I might have been sleepy, but with Aria having regained possession of her weapons I had no choice but to lie here, resentfully waiting for her to fall asleep first.
The reason there were two bunk beds was because this apartment was originally made to house four people. Naturally, Aria occupied the top bunk of the other bunk bed since it was the farthest away from mine, but I think the booby trap lead wire and the devices resembling anti-personnel landmines that I was seeing on the floor must have been due to a hallucination. That’s what I’m going to believe.
But this girl really is a pain in the butt. She selfishly forces herself into my life, sets up her own territory, and then of all things, orders me to go back to Assault and conduct Butei operations with her. There isn’t anything I particularly want to be in the future. I could be anything. Or I could even be nothing. But I know I don’t want to be a Butei anymore. That’s the one thing I’m definitely not going to be. Feeling rather uneasy, those were the thoughts going through my mind as I was gradually overtaken by sleep.
“Kinji, wake up, you idiot!”
I was woken up by a sudden hammer punch to my stomach and subsequently had a foot planted squarely in my face. That foot in black over-the-knee socks was then promptly twisted back and forth. Light was streaming in through the window. It was morning.
“What are you doing?!” The words came out garbled since I had a foot covering my mouth.
“Breakfast! Hurry up and make it!”
“I’m…not…making…your…breakfast!” I grabbed Aria’s ankle with both hands and lifted her foot off of my face.
“If you don't make me breakfast, I’ll go hungry!”
“So be hungry, you idiot!”
“Idiot?! Someone like you is calling me an idiot?!”
Someone like me? What’s that supposed to mean?
After dodging an onslaught of punches, I rolled out of bed and darted out of the room the instant I hit the floor.
Why does simply waking up require me to make a daring escape like James Bond?
“I’m hungry! I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry!”
“If you’ve got enough energy to scream that loud, you don’t need anything to eat!”
While dodging, blocking, and parrying all of Aria’s incoming punches and kicks as she continually griped at me, I got changed, grabbed my cell phone and pistol, and picked up my bag. The whole ordeal reminded me of the hand-to-hand combat training I went through in Assault. When I got to the door, I ducked under a high kick, put on my shoes, and quickly stood up.
“Aria!” With my hand on her smooth, glossy forehead, I held her at arm’s length as she persistently threw punches at me. Thanks to the difference in length in our arms, her punches harmlessly found no other target than the air.
This is good. I think I’ve started to figure out the trick to dodging her attacks. Not that this is something I want to get used to.
“What?” Unable to reach me, Aria calmed down a little bit and looked up at me with a scowl on her face.
“I’m going to wait a few minutes before heading to school. You go on ahead first.”
“Why?”
“For every possible reason. Just try leaving this apartment with me lined up besides you and see what happens. If anyone sees us, it’s gonna be a big headache. This is a men’s dormitory, after all.”
“You’re just trying to come up with a good excuse to get away from me!”
“We’re in the same class, and we sit right next to each other! I can’t get away from you!”
Having said it out loud, I started to lament my misfortune, but it was the truth and there was nothing I could do about it. Aria puffed out her cheeks in discontent.
“Sulking with your face blown up like a balloon isn’t going to help. We’re leaving this apartment separately.”
“I don’t care what you say! You’re not getting away! You're my slave!” Aria grasped my arm with both hands and stood in a way to show how determined she was not going to let me go.
“Let…go…of…me, you little…!”
“Gah!”
Chomp!
Would you believe it? Aria bared that tooth of hers at me and bit into my hand.
“Ow, ow, ow, ow!”
What are you, a lion cub?
Wrenching my hand out of Aria’s mouth, I looked at my wristwatch and saw that it was seven fifty-four.
Crap. I’m gonna miss the seven fifty-eight bus. This isn’t the time to be screwing around. Starting today, I’m never going to miss that bus again. After all, my bicycle was reduced to scrap metal.
“My God, you are the biggest pest ever!”
With no other choice, I left the apartment dragging Aria, who was still clinging onto my arm, behind me.
This girl’s such a nuisance! A huge nuisance! A colossal nuisance! God damn! But she has this nice sweet and sour fragrance about her! It’s so annoying! This is bad. I can’t let things go on like this. My everyday life is currently falling apart because of this incomprehensible “Aria invader”. If I’m going to fulfill my goal of becoming an Average Joe, first I have to reclaim my peaceful lifestyle.
Therefore, I spent all of my time after fourth period devising a plan to deal with Aria. From first through fourth period, general education classes were conducted at Butei High just like any other high school, and from fifth period on, each student went through training in his or her own specialized courses. Aria was probably at Assault, participating in combat training right about now. While she was busy with that, I decided to go somewhere she wouldn’t be able to find me and work on preparations for a resistance movement. To that end, for the first time in a long time, I went to Inquesta to accept an assignment, which would allow me to leave school grounds.
“Kin--ji.”
Upon exiting the building in which the Inquesta department was located, I fell to my knees in despair to see Aria standing there waiting for me. My plan was thwarted before it had even started.
“Why…are you here?!”
“Because you’re here.”
“That doesn’t answer my question. Is it okay for you to ditch your Assault class?”
“I already have enough credits to graduate,” Aria said, pulling down her lower eyelid with her index finger and sticking her tongue out at me.
Looking at her, I felt like I was going to faint. A girl—a pretty little girl at that—had been waiting for me outside a school building. This was the situation that all high school guys across the country dreamed about. However, when that girl was a ferocious hellcat who threatened you with twin pistols for every little thing, the situation was admittedly ruined.
“So, what kind of jobs do you usually take?” Aria asked.
“It’s none of your business. They’re simple jobs befitting an E-rank Butei such as myself. Leave me alone.”
After a certain amount of training, Butei High students could immediately accept paid jobs from civilians. If students happened to be at the scene of an incident while they were out in the city, they could resolve that as well. It was the achievements accumulated from these jobs and the scores one earned on various tests that determined what rank, from A to E, a student was given. There was an even higher special rank, S, and it was the rank I was given after taking the entrance exam. Well…it was thanks to be being in hysteria mode that was caused by Shirayuki though.
“You’re an E-rank?”
“That’s right. I didn’t take the final exam in the third semester last year. More to the point, rank doesn’t hold any meaning for me anymore.”
“Yeah, I don’t care about rank, either. But forget about that. Tell me about the job you accepted.”
“I’m not obligated to tell you anything.”
“You want a hole opened inside you?” Aria placed a hand on her pistol with an irritated look on her face.
“I’m…looking for a cat today.”
“A cat?”
“I’m going to look for a cat that got lost in Aomi. It pays one hundred dollars and it’s worth one-tenth of a credit.”
I chose the lowest paying and tedious job I could find posted on Inquesta’s bulletin board. I figured by letting Aria know that straight out, she would lose interest. I was wrong. “Hmm…” she said as she caught up to me when I tried to walk away.
“Stop following me.”
“Don’t worry about me. Just show me how you perform as a Butei.”
“I refuse. Stop following me.”
“Do you hate me that much?”
“I absolutely, positively hate you. Stop following me.”
“If you say ‘Stop following me’ one more time, I’m gonna open a–”