Clack.
A sharp, dry sound echoed through the room.
“…”
Silence followed.
Bertia froze, staring at her arm in stunned disbelief. Dangling from it, Futamata’s entire body swayed limply, his two heads still clamped down on her wrist. Yet—
The fangs hadn’t pierced her skin at all.
They’d stopped cold on the surface, as if he’d tried biting into solid rock. In fact, Futamata looked more pained than Bertia did, his eyes welling up with tears from the impact of his own futile attack.
Kuro gave a smug little hmph through her nose, her tail flicking with satisfaction.
“Kuro,” I said. “That thing making Tia’s gloves look black is your barrier, isn’t it?”
“Kuro! When did you—?!”
Bertia gasped, still holding her arm up with Futamata dangling from it. Her shocked gaze darted to Kuro, who, utterly pleased with herself, rubbed her head lovingly and complacently against Bertia’s chest.
Completely at a loss, Bertia turned to me for help, her eyes silently pleading, “What am I supposed to do about this?”
“Let’s start by taking that off,” I said with a sigh.
Standing up, I reached toward her and grabbed hold of the serpent’s limp body. I tugged gently, meeting the twin pairs of eyes that now looked up at me with pitiful confusion.
“Open,” I instructed firmly.
Futamata hesitated, then, realizing he couldn’t win this one, reluctantly unlatched his jaws and slid free of Bertia’s arm.
I kept hold of him rather than letting him go. Knowing him, if I did, we’d be back in chaos within seconds. His two heads turned upward, both sets of eyes glistening, silently begging me to let him go.
I ignored them.
Someone’s watching us.
That sensation of a faint, prying gaze hadn’t gone away. Whoever it was, I couldn’t tell how much they were seeing, but I knew one thing for certain: the less they learned, the better.
Even if trouble were inevitable, limiting the information they could gather would make things much easier to handle later.
As I thought this through, Bertia suddenly leaned forward, her expression soft but serious, eyes fixed on the serpent struggling weakly in my grip.
“Futamata-chan,” Bertia said. “I’m truly flattered that you like me so much. But you see, I already have Kuro, and besides, I cannot become the Saintess of this country! After all, I am the Crown Princess of the Alphasta Kingdom, and the Stand-in Villainess!”
It’s good that she’s turning him down so decisively, but really, did she need to add that last part? Being the “Stand-in Villainess” doesn’t exactly strengthen her case. Especially considering she hasn’t actually finished that role yet.
“Hss… Hss…”
Hearing her firm rejection, the twin-headed serpent drooped pitifully in my grasp. Then he cast a forlorn glance toward the teacup sitting in front of me—and deflated even further.
Wait, was he thinking of drowning his sorrows? Sorry, Futamata, but there’s no sake in that teacup.
“I-I’m so sorry, Futamata-chan,” Bertia said. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
Her guilt was written all over her face. She couldn’t accept his affection, but neither could she bear to see him so crushed.
Still, perhaps there was a way to turn this situation to everyone’s benefit. I smiled faintly.
“Futamata,” I said, lowering my voice to a more measured tone. “How about this—you do me a favor, and I’ll make it worth your while.”
Both of his heads lifted immediately, suspicious but curious. The twin sets of eyes narrowed at me, then flicked toward Bertia as if to say, “If she were the one asking, maybe I’d consider it.”
I followed his gaze and sighed inwardly. If Bertia were to make the request, he’d probably agree instantly, but then, knowing him, he’d demand something absurd in return. Maybe even a contract that would only cause trouble later.
“If you agree to grant me a small favor,” I said casually, “I’ll make sure you get more of that drink you liked the other day.”
The effect was instant.
Both of Futamata’s necks shot up like springs, eyes sparkling with sudden life.
This Serpent God really was shamelessly straightforward.
Convenient, yes, but I couldn’t help wondering if a guardian deity that easily swayed by rewards was still fit to be called divine.
“L-Lord Cecil?!”
Bertia looked utterly bewildered when I suddenly began negotiating with Futamata.
I smiled to reassure her. “It’s fine. I’m not planning anything bad. I just want to make a few small adjustments so everyone ends up a little happier. For that, I’ll need his cooperation.”
Bertia tilted her head in mild confusion, while Futamata, clearly thinking of nothing but the promised sake, wagged his tail eagerly and bobbed both heads in an enthusiastic nod.
“Ah, but if you try to make another move on Tia,” I added pleasantly, “this deal is off. That sort of trouble is just a nuisance. And personally, I find it far easier to handle nuisances than negotiate with them.”
I smiled as I said it, and Futamata’s whole body went rigid. The portion of his long torso caught in my grip trembled faintly.
Behind me, Zeno muttered under his breath, “Scary…”
I heard that. He’s definitely getting a talk later.
“Now then, Futamata,” I said, still smiling, “you’d prefer the deal that leads to your happiness, wouldn’t you?”
Both heads nodded so fast they blurred.
Good. He understood.
Watching the exchange with a small, tentative smile, Bertia finally spoke up. “Lord Cecil, I do appreciate how much you worry about me and how you’re even thinking of Futamata’s well-being, but what exactly are you planning?”
Her voice carried genuine curiosity and just a hint of warmth.
Futamata and Zeno, however, exchanged looks of realization.
What are you two surprised about? I always worry about my wife. And as for Futamata, I have no intention of harming him as long as he behaves himself.
However, if I told Bertia, even though she’d try her best to keep quiet, it would still show on her face.
Knowing her, there was every chance she’d decide to help make my plan succeed—and end up running wild in the process.
“You mean you can’t tell me what it is?”
Her shoulders slumped, her eyes dropping like a scolded child’s. She must’ve thought I didn’t trust her.
That stings a little. But this time, I couldn’t give in. If I wanted things to go smoothly, I had to keep this to myself. Her honesty was one of her best traits, but it didn’t always work in our favor.
“I really would like to tell you,” I said gently, “but this involves other people too. I can’t decide on my own whether it’s something I’m allowed to share.”
“Oh! So that’s what you meant!”
Her eyes lit up instantly, all gloom vanishing as she straightened in her chair. “I see! If it’s tied to someone else’s secret, then of course you can’t just tell me without permission!”
I blinked at how quickly she recovered. A chuckle escaped me before I could stop it.
“Well, yes, exactly that,” I admitted.
“I understand perfectly, Lord Cecil!” she said with a bright smile. “I’ll wait patiently until you’re ready to tell me. I trust you.”
“Thanks. I promise I’ll explain everything eventually. Just give me a little time.”
“Of course! And if there’s anything I can do to help, please tell me right away.”
“I will,” I said, smiling. “When that time comes, I’ll count on you.”
We nodded at each other with matching smiles, ending the conversation with mutual understanding.
In my hand, the so-called Serpent God twitched nervously.
“Don’t worry,” I told him quietly. “We’ll talk about what comes next soon.”
Both heads bobbed rapidly in agreement.