Chapter 36

Taking My Girlfriend to Meet My Parents, Part 5. 2007/01/28 20:40 My parents took the first shot at me. I stood at the entrance to the living room. … I was already reeling. …… They’re hitting it off… Y-ko is hitting it off perfectly with my parents… Absolutely not, Dad! It’s usually me who works this hard! … Yeah, that’s right! She’s telling the truth! She’s telling the truth, but… … for some reason, even though Y-ko’s being absolutely honest, my parents keep shooting me these lukewarm glances! Dammit!! Don’t stare at me like that! … Dad! Were you just thinking, “She’s so well mannered”?! Why are you giving me a thumbs-up, Mom?! … And stop mouthing “good job” at me! … Damn! This is supposed to be my home field (in a way), so why do I feel such an oppressive road disadvantage? Despite my fiercely conflicting emotions, I sat down at the table. Come on! What are you playing at, bringing up an embarrassing topic like that?! I could have choked on my food and died! Y-ko decided to go out with me because she saw me putting little bookmark slips in my books! Tell me, what kind of reaction are you planning to give when she drops that bombshell? You’re kind of enjoying this, aren’t you? You can’t wait for her to say it! … Okay, Pops, let’s see how you uphold your fatherly image after this one! … What a difficult statement to give a reaction to! Plus, I thought it was the slips that clinched it for me, Y-ko! See? Now you made things all weird! And for some reason, I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable! … Ah! I-I feel like I need to divert the course of this conversation! I sense danger ahead! We’re moving in the wrong direction! No! Listen to me! I’m trying to describe how good the rice is! Thatta girl, Y-ko! A real grown woman sure knows how to be awesome! Come on, Mom and Dad… You’re too old to act like this. Take a page out of Y-ko’s book, and— And now she goes ahead and spills the beans! I hate grown-ups! … Yeah, so I did! I practiced them constantly, and I had the whole situation planned out ten days in advance! I had several patterns memorized based on different possible answers from Y-ko! … Is there something wrong with that, dammit?! Stop right there, Dad! Are those the only two choices she gets?! Look at that, Dad! Mom understands how it works! Tell Y-ko a really impressive tale about me as a lad, Mom! There! Wasn’t that c-c-? Huh?! … More? ……… Oh dear. ……… Great. —Come on, Mom… Is that the only cool story about me you have to tell? And, Y-ko, you are getting along with them much too well.