In the end, he said, "Two electrons."
"Yes. We observe two identical electrons. But in essence they are actually one, and they're just appearing in two places at the same time." Pauli added more electrons next to those two, making them resemble countless stars. "Roughly estimating, our world has ten to the power of fifty-one identical electrons forming the matter we can observe. How can you prove that this is not the result of the same electron repeatedly oscillating and traveling back and forth millions of times on the axis of time?"
"Similarly, how can you prove that the existence of the entire observable universe is not the result of one or a few basic particles dancing through time and space?"
An Zhe frowned. He had no way of proving it, of course.
With his limited knowledge, he strenuously digested this sentence.
"So are you and I both the same electron?"
Pauli smiled warmly and wrapped an arm around An Zhe's narrow shoulders like an elder wrapping an arm around an innocent young child.
"This is but one of humankind's countless conjectures about the true nature of the world. It's not necessarily the truth, or perhaps it has absolutely nothing in common with the truth. It's just that it's difficult for us to verify it," he said. "I gave this example only to explain that within a greater metric, the brief existences of our bodies, minds, and wills as well as the existence of the entire world are even more insignificant than a single electron."
An Zhe looked into the distance. He was just a mushroom with a simple composition. He didn't have a scientist's mind, nor did he have such rich knowledge and insightful dimension-transcending thoughts. Unable to understand such a system, he only knew that this world was authentically displayed before his eyes. He murmured, "But we're all real."
After he finished speaking, the expression on his face went blank for a second. His brows furrowed as pain lanced through his lungs.
He clutched the railing, body trembling violently, and coughed up a mouthful of blood before falling forward.
With trembling arms, Pauli caught An Zhe's limp body and held him in his embrace.
"Rum!" he shouted in the direction of the laboratory, anxiety in his voice.
An Zhe knew that Pauli wanted to treat him again or search for the cause of his illness by using warmth, antibiotics, defibrillators… those sorts of things.
He coughed up another mouthful of blood, and Pauli wiped it away with his sleeve.
Blood dyed the edge of the snow-white shirt sleeve red. An Zhe looked at Pauli and forced a smile.
"There's no need." He slowly grabbed Pauli's arm, panted a few times, and said softly, "… There's really no need."
Pauli held him in an iron grip. "Hang in there a little longer."
"I…" As An Zhe looked into his eyes, he seemed to catch sight of the boundless sea and sky.
He was actually fine, for he hadn't yet reached his weakest moments. At least he could still move, and his thoughts were clear.
But he was going to die. If not today, then tomorrow—he could die just like this. Pauli was the best elder in the world. He regarded An Zhe as a beloved child, treating him so well… At the end of his life, he could die with such a gentle love, something that the other people of this age dared not even dream of. But if he died like this, Pauli would accept his arbitrary death. Unable to find the cause of illness, he could do nothing to help. An Zhe knew that for humankind's scientists, such unsolvable problems and inexplicable truths were the most profound frustrations.
He could also die as a monster. He wasn't afraid that Pauli would abhor him. What Pauli had given him was already enough, more than enough.
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry." He looked at Pauli. After making that decision, he relaxed a lot. The pain in his body was nothing. He said again, "I'm sorry, Pauli."
Pauli gazed at him.
"I…" An Zhe smiled. He coughed a few times, and tears slid down, the exact same temperature as blood. Strenuously gasping for breath, he said to Pauli, "I… lied to you. I'm not a human infected by a monster. I was originally a monster. I'm not human, I just… just ate a human's genes. I just… look like a human."
Pauli seemed stunned for a second. Then a more gentle sorrow showed in his gray-blue eyes. "No matter what you are, hang in there a little longer, okay?"
An Zhe shook his head.
"I'm not sick," he said. "My lifespan… is just this long. It can't be changed… You don't need to help me anymore."
After he finished speaking, Pauli held him tight. As they looked at each other, they fell into a sorrowful silence.
Compared to illnesses or injuries, the fixed lifespan of a creature was something even more inexorable. The end was determined from the moment of birth. Nobody could step over that threshold, the threshold set by God—if God truly existed.
In the oppressive silence, the chilly wind howled, and An Zhe heard Pauli say something amidst the sound.
The moment the words reached his ears, his heart abruptly quivered. What he said was so familiar, familiar to the point where it was like he had returned to that night three months ago when he was facing Lu Feng. The wind was strong that day as well.
Pauli Jones asked, "What's that in your hand?"
Facing him, An Zhe had nothing else to hide. He slowly uncurled his fingers.
A silver badge lay quietly in his hand. This was the token that proved the Arbiter's identity.
Pauli's gaze landed on the badge, and An Zhe swore that he saw in those gray-blue eyes a distant grief.
Then Pauli Jones retrieved something from his own jacket's inner pocket and held it in the palm of his hand.
An Zhe's eyes widened slightly.
It was also a silver badge.
A nearly identical badge.
"You…" An Zhe was stunned. "You're… an Arbiter?"
"Once upon a time," Pauli murmured. "I'm a defector."