Chapter 1-2:
My Desire
WHEN I TURNED TEN, A GRAND BIRTHDAY party was held in my honor. My mother was as brusque as ever. It didn’t matter how kind I acted, how well I studied, or how high my magical prowess was—she remained as cold and distant as ever. She acted just as she had done in my previous life.
My mother was only interested in tea and spent her days enjoying different varieties. I didn’t expect anything from her at this point; my main target was my father.
“Father, there’s something I’d like for my birthday,” I said.
I flashed an adorable smile and hugged him. In fact, I had diligently practiced making the cutest smiles in front of a mirror for this day. This was my main event.
“Ah, Serena!” my father said. “You’re as adorable as an angel. I shall give you anything you desire.”
He beamed at me as he held me in his arms. My father was by no means handsome, but he always had a sunny demeanor and was rather plump. Even in my past life, he had doted on me and given me anything I desired. When I was trapped in prison, he was one of two people who visited me, and he sobbed loudly as he apologized for being unable to save my life.
My resolve wavered for a second when I saw my father’s smile, but I steeled myself and voiced my request.
“I’d like a squire,” I said. “Preferably one my age.”
“A squire your age?” he echoed.
He gave me a troubled expression. I couldn’t blame him—it wasn’t unusual for a young servant to take care of a child, but to have a young child watch over another child was unheard of. But I had my reasons for insisting that my squire be young.
“That’s right, Father,” I replied. “There isn’t anyone my age in this manor. The servants treat me well, but I yearn to have someone my age beside me.”
“Hmm…” My father was deep in thought for a few moments. “Very well. I can choose an excellent candidate from those who are well-bred.”
It was a safe choice and a very fitting solution from my father, but that wasn’t what I desired. I had no need for such a respectable person.
“No, Father,” I said. “I would like to choose from unprivileged children. Ah, perhaps starving kids in an orphanage would be perfect.”
I needed people who were ravenous like wolves. They had to despise society, envy humans, and live crawling on the ground. I also wanted them to have nerves of steel and refuse to crack even under torture, if that was possible. My plan was to educate and train these people so that they would become my most excellent servants. The ideal candidate was one who wouldn’t hesitate to murder even a royal under my orders and then willingly kill themselves.
“A child from an orphanage?” my father replied. “I cannot allow such filthy and lowly people to enter my manor.”
It seemed even my gentle father resisted that idea. I’d expected as much—who in their right mind would allow a dirty child into the manor of a duke? However, I had to prepare myself for my future conflict against the saintess. These new servants would be my disposable pawns, and the lower the rank, the better. Orphans were best, as they had no parents who would cause any trouble in the future.
“Father, perhaps they’re of lowly birth,” I said, “but they’re humans, just like us. With proper education, I’m sure that they’ll grow into splendid people.”
Indeed, children were balls of talent. If I taught them the ways of assassination at a young age, they would surely turn into amazing assassins in the future.
“Hmm…” my father mused.
He agonized over the decision as the servants around him began to chatter. Half of them seemed reluctant to allow orphans into the manor, but the remaining half seemed interested.
What lambs you are, I thought.
Had any of them been more adept at plotting or assassination, I wouldn’t have had to go through all this trouble. I noticed my mother grimace with chagrin, but she remained quiet as usual.
“Father, I beg of you to provide me with an opportunity to grow as a person,” I pressed. “I may fail at times, but as I walk through life with them by my side, I’m certain that there is much to be gained.”
I had to grow. I had to do what I could to finally get rid of that accursed saintess once and for all and to ensure that I would never suffer humiliation like in my past life. I would have loved to end Eleanor right that instant if it were possible, but her father’s fief was in an incredibly remote location. She was out of my grasp…for now.
Sure, an orphan or two might die during my training, but that loss could easily be recouped by finding another suitable one. If I spent my life with those who would become splendid assassins and spies, I knew that I could gain plenty. Perhaps I could finally become queen, or even put this nation under my rule.
My servants chattered away, all moved by my words.
“She plans on giving orphans an opportunity for an education!”
“What a splendid mindset she has!”
“She’s so benevolent and kind, like a saint!”
Indeed, I was benevolent beyond measure; I was trying to give abandoned children a magnificent role, after all.
“Serena, I would never have imagined that you would make such a thoughtful request,” my father said. “I understand. I shall make the arrangements and take you to an orphanage. You may select as many kids as you like.”
“Thank you, Father!” I cried.
I was genuinely ecstatic as I hugged him tightly. Finally, I was able to gather my forces.