It was a sarcastic remark, but she let him go as softly as ever.
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“Anyway, I think I spent so many years crying. I guess I thought that the most unfortunate person in the world was me, that the world was cruel only to me.”
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Vera could deeply sympathize with those words.
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It's because he had thought like that in the past.
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It wasn’t just him. All of those in the slums, at the bottom of their misery, have lived with such thoughts.
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Even as he was thinking, Renee's words continued.
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“At that time, the stigma of the Lord was etched on me.”
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It was a story that Vera knew well.
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How could he not. The continent was turned upside down when the stigma of the Lord, which had not appeared for nearly 400 years, appeared on the body of a young girl who had just entered puberty.
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For Vera, it was a well-known fact because it was the period when he was amidst uniting all the cartels in the slums and started trading with the Imperial nobles.
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“At first, I resented them. Although it was blasphemous, I thought that the Lord took away my light and threw me that stigma as a compensation. That's why I blamed them.”
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“If the priests of the Holy Kingdom heard that, they would be shocked.”
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“It’s a secret deep in my heart.”
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“Can you tell me this easily? I see, I’m going to die soon, so it doesn't matter.”
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When Vera, who was listening to the story in full swing, said something sarcastic, Renee fumbled and pressed her hand against Vera's chest to close his mouth.
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“Ughh…!”
✦ ✦ ✦
“That is not good. You have to think about getting better.”
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Vera glared at Renee, but again, staring at someone blind was meaningless.
✦ ✦ ✦
Renee chuckled for a moment and continued.
✦ ✦ ✦
“So, while I was living a life filled with resentment, I stopped by the slums.”
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“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard of it.”
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“It was a secret, of course. There was a time when I secretly ventured out to share my power across the continent.”
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Renee spoke like that, licked her lips for a moment, then spoke out.
✦ ✦ ✦
“It was a place where there was so much despair that even I could tell without looking. The sound of death, the howls of pain, the smell of blood and filth, the damp air on the skin. All of that was a shock to me.”
✦ ✦ ✦
The slightly opened eye sockets showed blue pupils that had lost their light.
✦ ✦ ✦
“At that time, after I came to the slums, I felt ashamed for the first time in my life. Even though I knew it would be wrong to sympathize, seeing the people who lived here made me realize how ugly and childish I was, and I felt ashamed.
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Again, a smile crept across Renee's lips.
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“That was the first time I thought of an emotion that wasn’t resentment. Plus, I had this idea. Maybe the reason why the Lord had taken the light away from me was because she wanted me to share that light with them.”
✦ ✦ ✦
“…That’s quite a leap in logic.”
✦ ✦ ✦
“It might be. However, would that matter even if it is? Isn't it important that I obtained such a realization? So, I have no regrets at all about living here now. Although I have become a very feeble existence, I'm still really grateful that I can be of help to someone with this body.”
✦ ✦ ✦
Vera's gaze turned to Renee.
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A smiling face. It was an expression devoid of any wrinkles.
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Suddenly, Vera, who was looking at Renee, realized why his stomach churned when he first saw her.
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'…Saint.'
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I realized why she was called that.
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Because the Saint was a human with such nobility, it made his stomach churn.
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He was so distraught by her nobility, which was different from him, who trampled on everything he saw at every given moment, fearing that he would return to the slums and starve to death.
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Vera tried to avert his gaze from Renee and closed his eyes.
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Suddenly, misery ran through his body.
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Not even once in his life had he ever imagine himself feeling regret. At that moment, because of that shabby woman, regret bloomed inside of him.
✦ ✦ ✦
Clearly, this situation should've been so difficult that it would make her vomit, and since she used to live a brighter life than this, she should be even more desperate.
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“…A lunatic.”
✦ ✦ ✦
“I'm glad to hear that”
✦ ✦ ✦
A simple sound of laughter made Vera's stomach churn again.