This was probably some kind of horrible mistake. An intern angel shuffled in the wrong file, the Goddess didn’t double-check before executing it, something something.
“I won’t demand a cheat skill as recompense, of course. I just want my old life back. That’s all.”
A cold nighttime wind blew, causing Stella’s robe to flutter. Her temperature must’ve dropped; her lips were trembling.
See...? This was why I hated being a staff. I couldn’t even hold down her robes for her.
Stella absentmindedly scratched at her robe. “Okay,” she said. She then started swinging me about in the air. “Aaah, jeez. I knew something was wrong here. I’ve never heard of a talking staff before, ever.”
“Oh, so staves don’t talk in this world, then?”
“The staves my classmates have don’t. That’s why I thought I had gotten a really special spirit. Maybe a Grand Spirit, even.”
Swish, swish.
She was swinging me about from my feet. The spinning world around me afforded no glimpse of her expression.
“Guh... Stella, stop with the swinging. I get motion sick easily. I’m about to hurl.”
“You’re a staff. You can’t hurl.”
While true, I still felt gross. I’d rather she stopped.
“Can you see that? It’s the statue of the Goddess,” Stella said, thrusting me in front of it. We had arrived at the entrance to a plaza before I’d even realized it.
Before us stretched out rows of busy food and merchant stands. At the far back end was a giant statue of an adult woman, clad in robes and holding a divine-looking staff. Her expression was filled with compassion. She seemed very goddess-like indeed.
“I’ll do what I can to help you meet the Goddess,” Stella said, smiling and looking over the lamps surrounding the stands. “You’re lucky. This is the Goddess’s yearly Descension Ceremony.”
“Descension what now?”
“The Goddess descends to the mortal realm once a year to answer our prayers. And that’s today.”
“Does she grant any wish?”
“Obviously not. The Goddess loves peace and tranquility. She wouldn’t grant any wishes offensive to a moral society, or those filled with greed. There’s also requests that contradict her own will... Do you see those little strips of paper by the statue’s feet?” Stella asked. Her tone kind of got awkward at the end there, but I looked at the statue anyway. Her feet were covered with countless pieces of paper.
“Yeah. That’s quite a bunch.”
“They say the Goddess inhabits the statue on the day of the ceremony. Anything touching the statue then becomes sacred and reaches where the Goddess lives. That’s why we write down our prayers and offer them to the statue.”
“You wrote yours on a strip too?”
“Of course.”
“What was your wish?”
“Who cares? Yours is more important right now,” Stella said, poking my head. “If you want her to hear you out, you need to touch the statue during the ceremony yourself.”
“Can’t you just write a strip for me yourself?”
“There’s a rule of one strip being given out per person. And you don’t count as a person.”
“You can’t just use some other kind of paper?”
“Obviously not! Listen up—the strips are made through a divine miracle granted by the Goddess. All wishes written on the slips fly to the statue the moment the ceremony ends. Normal paper won’t get you anything from the Goddess.”
She ended up scolding me. It seemed that a religious adherent like Stella found my suggestions offensive.
“And since you can’t write your slip yourself, you have no choice but to touch the statue sometime today, become a divine instrument, and plead to the Goddess directly. You’ll have to ask her to take you back to your original world.”
“All right! Let’s go touch the statue!” I exclaimed. And while I would’ve made the first bold step right away if I were a human, my only choice was to look at my owner with hope.
Aaand she didn’t move.
“Take a closer look. Do you really think touching the Goddess statue will be easy?”
I checked the plaza again. The statue was surrounded by armored guards, and despite the large crowd, not a single person went anywhere near it.
“The king’s soldiers guard the statue during the Descension Ceremony. They stop anyone from just up and touching the statue or messing with the slips.”
“Makes sense. The statue would be swarmed if it was anyone’s ticket to seeing the Goddess.”
“And that’s why our first move will be figuring out a way to get rid of those soldiers.”
Soldiers’ side: twenty armored adults.
Our side: Stella and me (a staff).
“Hold it, hold it. I get that I need to find my way past them, but there’s no reason for you to go this far for me, is there...?”
This was a bad direction. I kept finding myself relying on Stella since I was just a staff.
I wanted to meet the Goddess so I could go back to my world, but Stella had no reason whatsoever to help me. It was possible she’d make an enemy out of the king’s army. That was a big risk with no rewards for her.
“I appreciate your willingness to help, but you have your own life, and—”
“D-Don’t get the wrong idea! I’m just helping you so I can get you out of my staff as soon as possible,” Stella said, placing a hand on her hips.
“Am I...a problem?” I asked.
“Obviously. You being in there is why I can’t get a Grand Spirit staff.”
“Grand Spirit... I feel like I heard that before. Very recently.”
“They’re the highest rank of spirits. My staff was supposed to house a Grand Spirit, not a pervert like you, Otaku!”
“Sorry. This is all my fault...”
“W-Well, as long as you understand. I’m offering my help because I want you out of my staff... Not because I feel awful that you have no way of turning back into a human!”
“You care about my situation that much? You sure are kindhearted.”
“Wrong! That’s the opposite of what I just said, jeez!” Stella exclaimed with a sharp tilt of her head. Her cheeks were red.
Let it be known that tsundere lovers are no shallow fools. I can see through their shy, embarrassed acts as if they’re made of glass.
Still, the fact I was causing problems by being inside of her staff was likely true. I wouldn’t want an otaku in my sick wizard staff either. Give me a Grand Spirit any day.
“While I’m at it, I’ll touch the statue too. I can meet the Goddess and get my wish granted to kill two birds with one stone. It’s genius,” Stella said.