I stared at him in a daze, but his face still had the same calm, relaxed smile as before. It was no good—I couldn’t read his expression at all.
“You had a lover?”
“That’s what you’re stuck on? I mean, I say lover, but maybe I was the only one who saw things that way. Long ago—back when I was just a kid—there was a while when I was down and out, just wandering around. And then someone found me and...well, taught me some things.”
“What sorts of things?”
“All sorts of things. Had a beautiful face too... Damn, that takes me back...”
His eyes and his voice were filled with tender affection. Given the cause of his illness, maybe it should have been a relief to see him so relaxed and at peace... But my possessive urges, thoroughly sated over this past half year, steamed and roiled with fury.
“Are you...talking about the former king?”
Unable to get my smoldering, hazy thoughts back in order, I let the question slip before I could think better of it.
When he was a child—in other words, before he changed. And back then, no one but the tyrant could have freely toyed with that man.
Even if they had the same face, even if they were the same person, I still despised the repulsive villain he’d once been. I had absolutely no affection for the old Duke Heinreid. But here and now, listening to this man speak so lovingly, I couldn’t help but seethe with jealousy.
“What? No, she was a woman—I told you I’d never been with a man before, didn’t I? Anyway, why would you even think that? Is your head okay?”
I’d been certain of my conclusion, but he instantly denied it with a look of total perplexity. There was even pity in his gaze. He spoke as though I were the one saying something strange, but that was utterly unreasonable of him—no matter how you looked at it, those two had been the abnormal ones.
“It’s not that outrageous of an idea,” I insisted. “You know that there were rumors, don’t you?”
“C’mon, that was ages ago, and the rumors barely lasted a minute. I’m amazed you even remember.”
“How could anyone forget?”
I absolutely hadn’t spoken on a passing fancy.
On the one hand, the Tyrant of the Century, a man of terrible and overpowering charisma, inspiring fear and awe in all who beheld him. On the other, the evil duke, fastidiously unapproachable, ruthlessly taking the life of anyone so careless as to touch him. Though their natures had been different, both had been distant and aloof, and the sight of the two villains standing side by side had inevitably drawn attention. Of course, the nobles who had whispered those vulgar rumors had all been rounded up and made examples of before long, and everyone had shut their mouths tightly after that—but countless people had still held suspicions in the privacy of their minds. The pair of them were far too strange to dismiss the stories as mere rumors.
“Well, I guess it could’ve looked sort of like that from the sidelines, maybe? He was a pretty weird guy, but we never did anything like that. Hmm...”
I watched him mumble to himself, pondering the question anew even as he denied it. From the looks of it, he genuinely hadn’t engaged in that sort of relationship with the former king.
But, no—so what? No matter who it had been, I was still absolutely furious.
What had she done to him? How had she changed him? Why did she hold such sway over him? I couldn’t even guess. His lover being a complete stranger was almost worse, in a sense—I had no way to compete.
“All this time...” My frustration left me no space to breathe. My voice came out low and steady, like something crawling through the dirt. “Every time you’ve looked at those flowers, every time you’ve smelled their fragrance...have you been recalling her?”
Even when he’d been with me, had his thoughts been elsewhere, lost in some time and place I couldn’t know? In all my memories, what had put him at ease had always been the scent of those flowers. I’d thought nothing of it—they were only inanimate objects, after all—but through them, he’d actually been remembering someone else’s love...
What the hell? Are you mocking me? You...
A dark, violent emotion roiled inside me, growing thicker and heavier by the moment. I could only imagine the unrestrained fury that must have been in my eyes as I glared at him, but he calmly gazed straight back at me. He slowly cocked his head.
“Want to know?”
His pale fingertips quietly reached out to trace along the back of my hand; a shiver ran through me at his touch. It wasn’t cold in the room, but goose bumps rose on my skin. Those cool fingers ran along my veins as though begging for my heat.
“Lord Heinreid, I—”
“Basically, you don’t want me keeping secrets from you, right? If you want, I’ll tell you all about those things. Let’s call it an apology—for worrying you and for making you mad just now.”
“I’m not going to—”
“C’mon, Craig.”
I couldn’t do this. I needed to brush him off. But he wouldn’t engage with my hollow refusals. Carefully not touching the roses, he finally slid his fingers into my sleeve. His hand wrapped around my wrist, and my heart leaped out of my chest.
He would tease me all the time, but right now—despite my definite will to resist—I couldn’t move. I couldn’t move, so I couldn’t run away.
“You said you’d come last night, but you never showed up,” he continued. “I was all ready and waiting for you.”
He lowered his voice to a whisper, speaking in the tones of someone sharing an intimate secret. “You liar.”
Those words sent a jolt through my brain. My vision blurred and twisted.
What are you talking about? Of course you weren’t ready. Yesterday, you threw up, and then you had the doctor examining you that night. There’s no way you could’ve gotten ready for me in that state. Which of us is really lying here?
I should have rejected him with that counterargument and brought our conversation back on topic. I knew that was my responsibility, after I’d boasted that I would be in charge of him... But sweet poison slowly, steadily ate away at my faculties, robbing me of any capacity for rational judgment.
I’d stiffened up in my seat. Lord Heinreid gazed at me for a little while, but eventually, he closed his eyes and withdrew, his fingers releasing my wrist. As the overpowering pressure on me relaxed, a terrible frustration filled me in its stead.
“Well, I shouldn’t force you,” he said. “You’ve got work after this anyway, right? Sorry—my bad. You must be pretty busy, after all. Thanks for coming up to vis—”
The rest of his words were cut off—I swallowed them up, along with the lips that spoke them. I tossed the roses aside; they fell to the floor with a soft thump, but I ignored them. After what I’d just heard, I didn’t have the slightest desire to treat them with care.
I want you to forget everyone else. I’m the only one here in front of you. I want you to look at me. You’re mine now.
My original purpose forgotten, I let those feelings take me over as I plundered his mouth. A pained groan spilled from his throat, protesting my self-centered actions. Both of us were panting, breathless, when I finally withdrew. That deep scarlet hue reappeared from behind his long eyelashes, gazing out appraisingly. I didn’t want it to retreat from me again.
Knowing I was making the wrong choice...I reached out my hand.
“I’m off duty today.”
That bewitching red smiled back at me.