I’d spent a day and a half traveling by carriage to the palace, but my immediate return trip took less than half a day. I’d definitely pushed myself too hard, though. The moment I reached the estate, an exhaustion I hadn’t noticed until now suddenly overtook me. I half slid, half fell off the horse and sank to the ground on the spot. As I sat curled up there, waiting for my heart rate to go down and my breathing to steady, I felt something nudge against my back. I turned around to see Craig’s horse; it had put up with my reckless haste as I’d ridden home, and now it pressed its nose against me with an air of concern.
Aw... Are you worried about me? That’s sweet of you.
I softly stroked its forehead as I found my feet, then took off the reins and saddle. Finally, I gave it a couple of gentle claps on its long neck, thanking it for a job well done. It seemed to pick up my meaning, and it whinnied cheerfully. That friendly moment with a pure, innocent creature soothed my spirit and renewed my strength just a little.
I dragged my heavy body into the manor. Normally, Karl and a group of other servants would’ve been in the entryway bowing their heads to me in unison, but today, I was greeted by nothing but silence. Before I’d left, I’d instructed Karl to have the estate cleaned up by the time I returned, and he’d faithfully carried out my orders. He never did anything without being told to, but if I asked him for an inch, he’d give me a yard. As usual, he’d delivered exactly what I’d requested.
I trudged slowly through the empty halls, one step at a time. My body was almost at its breaking point, but somehow, my mind was as calm and still as a windless sea. I’d long since lost any fear of death. I’d been working toward it all along as I’d settled my affairs, and besides, it wouldn’t even be my first time. On top of that, there was no one who’d mourn my passing this time around, so I didn’t have any lingering attachments or regrets—if anything, my spirits felt a little bit lighter than before, at least in that regard.
I took my time wandering through the manor, making sure that it was really empty. But my perfect butler didn’t disappoint—there wasn’t a single insect or a speck of dust, let alone a person.
Didn’t even need to bother checking, did I?
I opened the door to the one place I hadn’t visited yet: my bedroom. Obviously, there wasn’t anyone there either. My gaze skimmed across the room. This was where my consciousness had first awoken in Heinreid’s body. Even this room was stained by countless blood-soaked memories, and I’d never been able to sleep all that well here. But it had a bed, and right now, that was all I could ask for. I sat down heavily on the black sheets—they’d been perfectly made up, without a single wrinkle. The iron whip, still attached to my belt, gave a harsh jangle. It was obnoxious, but even taking it off was too much of a bother, so I did my best to drive it from my thoughts.
I’m tired... I’m so, so tired.
I’d taken a direct hit from that evil tyrant’s menacing aura on not enough sleep, and I’d screwed up and lost my cool. Of course he’d already noticed there was something else mixed into Heinreid—I’d known he was going to pick up on it. Still, I should’ve kept myself together just a little longer and tried to feel things out. I’d been hoping maybe I could pull some useful information out of him if I got lucky.
Damn, now I understand why Marquis Zechress was panicking so much during my visit. When your mind’s already pushed to the brink, nothing’s gonna go the way you want it to.
Well, for better or for worse, Eberhart’s slap had reminded me exactly where I stood. And thanks to that, I’d been able to fire Craig without a hitch, so I’d call the whole thing a wash, more or less. Besides, there was no point trying to reflect on my mistakes and do better next time—I didn’t have any next times left.
I’d let go of as much as I could, and I hadn’t pulled anyone else in with me. It hadn’t been nearly as long as it had felt, but I’d done pretty well with the time I’d had.
In the end, the villain wasn’t going to face judgment at the hands of the heroes—I was just going to get wiped out by an even bigger evil. It felt a little unsatisfying, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. Besides, it was all my fault for slipping up and provoking that tyrant.
Ugh... He’s definitely not gonna let me die peacefully, is he? It’ll be exactly the kind of ending Heinreid deserves for his sins, but still... I just need to make sure I don’t lose control again—guess I should rest until they come to pick me up.
Now that I was finally alone, I could feel the threads of tension in my mind loosening, and a sweet drowsiness beckoned me. I didn’t try to resist it. I just slumped back onto the bed and closed my eyes.
All that awaited me was a deep, quiet darkness, devoid even of dreams. I sank into it like a stone.
✦ ✦ ✦
I heard a voice calling me. Wake up, it said. Come out this instant.
The voice gradually grew louder, and along with it, a single ray of light pierced the darkness—soft yet strong. But I was drowning in the warm, welcoming depths of that bottomless swamp, and the light was much too bright for me.
No... I want to stay here. I need to stay here. That light’s too beautiful for me to touch.
Stubbornly resisting the light, I tried to sink myself deep, deep down once again. But in those murky depths that should have been empty except for me, I suddenly felt a sensation like someone grabbing me and yanking me up by force.
“...ce. ...Grace. Your Grace.”
My consciousness suddenly floated back to the surface as I flickered awake. When my eyes opened...they met a strange emerald gaze, mingled with the crimson twilight streaming in through the window.
“Good morning, Your Grace.”
No, wait.
What the hell are you doing here?
I tried to speak up, but my voice couldn’t escape my throat. Right before my eyes, towering over me with a glare that was all but ready to shoot me dead, was my guard captain—Craig Bauer.