But Siegfried didn’t deserve to die the way that he had. That was why I wanted to avenge him. That was why I wanted to save him and fulfill Kreis’s wish for revenge.
Siegfried was a true royal, unlike some princes you hear about who idle their days away doing nothing. He’d done so much for this kingdom, and yet the main characters had accused him of being a stain on the nation and had him executed without even giving him the chance to properly defend himself.
But now that I had lived in this world myself, I realized the reason Siegfried hadn’t fought back was to protect his precious advisor—Kreis.
The main characters had captured Kreis and hidden him away. In an effort to save him, Siegfried had kept silent. What a fool. He could’ve sacrificed one advisor in the name of his kingdom.
But that was the kind of person he was, and it was the reason Kreis had wanted to save him no matter what, even in the very moment of his death.
“Kr...eis...”
The sound of Siegfried’s anguished voice calling his name as he lay dying still echoed in my ears. The emotional pain of that was far greater than the cut of the blade that had killed Kreis. I deeply regretted dying without being able to do anything for him.
I would sell my soul to the devil himself if it meant I could do that.
Those thoughts had lingered in Kreis’s heart as he died.
“That’s why he made me experience Kreis’s life...” I muttered to myself. Because once I experienced Kreis’s life and came to understand his relationship with Siegfried, of course I’d end up siding with the two of them.
My impressions of the main characters had completely changed after seeing what Kreis had gone through. They were the kind of people who deserved to be the targets of Kreis’s vengeance—and there were plenty of reasons for it.
Now that I’d actually lived in this world, I saw how many parts of the story were different from what I’d originally written. Technically, there were gaps in the story that I’d never fleshed out, or scenes I cut, main and side characters displaying different personalities than I’d written, and so on.
So after experiencing all that firsthand, I understood that whether I liked it or not, revenge was necessary to survive this hell.
“Kreis, are you listening?”
The gentle sound of my name made me recall the image of Kreis collapsed in a pool of blood, Siegfried calling out to him. The metallic odor that hung in the air, the taunting voices surrounding us, the rage boiling in my blood.
I want to make them pay for killing this man.
Was this anger that welled up inside of me Kreis’s or my own?
I clenched my fists, the gloves I wore to cover my calluses and chapped hands tightening over my skin.
“Kreis.”
He called my name again, yanking me back to reality. There was no excuse for letting my mind wander in front of the king. But Siegfried looked at me with concern instead of getting angry with me.
“I’m sorry for calling on you when you’re so busy,” he said, his voice full of gentle consideration.
“Not at all. I apologize, Your Majesty. I sincerely...”
“I’m not here as the king right now, Kreis.” He sounded displeased for the first time since I arrived. He tapped his fingers on the armrest and fixed his sharp gaze on me. “What could my childhood friend be hiding, I wonder?”
“Your Majesty, you are always the king of this nation, no matter the time or place.”
“I see. Then if I were to give up the throne, would my childhood friend return to me?”
“Please do not joke about such things.”
“Why not? Wasn’t your childhood friend the kind of person who never backed down once he made up his mind?”
“Your Majesty...”
“I wonder how the prime minister and the others would react if I told them I was stepping down from the throne to get my childhood friend back. Just the thought of it is amusing,” he said.
“King Siegfried.”
“My childhood friend would never call me that.”
He really was so unfair. The moment sadness flickered across his beautiful face, I felt the urge to do whatever he wanted. I’d never realized before how vulnerable I was to beautiful people.
I let out a sigh, relenting, and spoke to him like I used to. “I was wrong, Siegfried. Okay?”
“Oh, there he is. My childhood friend has finally returned. Long time no see, Kreis.”
Of course I didn’t believe he would really step down from the throne. But he was right about one thing—when he made up his mind about something, there was no turning back. I remembered having this same kind of conversation with him many times during my first life here.
“What do you mean, ‘long time no see’? It’s only been three months.”
The words “three months” just spilled from my mouth naturally. When I spoke to him casually like I did when we were children, his eyes softened with happiness.
“Don’t you mean it’s already been three months?” He flashed me a grin so mischievous I’m sure anyone else would have had a hard time believing he was the king of Claan.
He was always calm and composed in public. But when we were children, he’d been playful and incredibly adorable.
Kreis’d had no idea he was a royal when they’d first met.
“What are you doing here all by yourself? Are you lost too? I’ll stay with you, so don’t cry!”
This had been before Kreis’s younger brother had come to live at the Louboutin estate. Back then, he was still a carefree child. He’d gotten lost at a party his father brought him to at the palace where he’d met Siegfried for the first time.
“I’m not lost. I just wanted to run away.”
“Run away? But why?”
“Because I don’t want to live in a kingdom like this. Look at those nobles over there, living a life of luxury with money they took from the commoners,” Siegfried had said, biting his lip.
At first, Kreis had mistaken Siegfried for a girl, mostly because of the cloak he wore that almost completely obscured him. Kreis had wanted to impress this adorable girl and had said arrogantly, “That’s foolish! If you abandon your kingdom just because things aren’t great, it’ll only get worse! When things are bad, you shouldn’t walk away. You should stay and try to change things!”
“Stay? And try to change things?”
At the time, Siegfried’s father had been the king, and he’d begun enacting reforms all over the kingdom, but there’d been an intense underground resistance from corrupt nobles left over from the previous king’s reign. Kreis’s mother still lived at the Louboutin estate back then, and she’d drilled into him that he should always dedicate himself to the good of the kingdom. That was why he’d made it his goal to serve the king and help improve the kingdom.
“Don’t worry! When I grow up, I’m going to change this kingdom for the better!” Kreis’d pounded his chest proudly.
Siegfried had blinked in surprise and said, “You will?”
“I sure will!”
“You mean, you’re going to be king?”
“No, silly! I’m going to serve the king and help fix the kingdom alongside him!”
“But what if the king’s some idiot who’s not even worth serving?”
“Then I’ll spank his butt and make him study until he is worth it!”
“Pfft, ha ha ha! That’s great!”
Of course, Kreis had no idea the boy standing before him would one day become king. He had been oblivious to his disrespect, and for some reason, that had made Siegfried adore him. Their bond had only deepened since then.
Perhaps it was because no one else had ever spoken to the young prince like that before, and it intrigued him. That was probably why he still insisted I speak to him as casually as I had back then.
“Isn’t it a problem for the king to be away from the capital so often?” I asked.