I was so relieved my throat suddenly felt dry. I reached for the pitcher of water on the table, poured a glass, and drained it in one gulp.
And that was a mistake.
“Ngaaah!” The glass slipped from my hand. A burning heat tore through my throat. I clutched at it, gasping, stumbling forward against the table.
Pain surged through my stomach.
Crimson droplets splattered on the table. Blood. That same color as before.
“Krrgh...”
I’d left the audience chamber early, done everything right. I’d avoided the threat, or so I’d thought. I hadn’t expected a trap to be set for me here.
Someone was mocking me. But who? Who did this?!
I couldn’t breathe. My vision flickered and darkened at the edges as I choked. I opened my mouth and gasped for air, but nothing came. The pain of suffocation was unbearable. Then slowly, it began to fade and relief crept in.
Finally I can escape this despair, I thought.
My consciousness began to slip away. It almost felt sweet, like drifting off to sleep after a long day. It was over.
The pain, the fear, everything.
For now, anyway.
“Haah, haah, haah...”
This time I was sure I’d escaped.
I tried to catch my breath. This spot should be safe. The royal guards were nearby. I could see all my surroundings. No one could sneak up on me.
Or at least, it should’ve been safe.
But then an arrow pierced me right through my throat, and the crimson blood dripped down.
I’d been killed again. But why?
I wanted to scream for help, but nothing came out. I’d hidden out in the castle gardens, and the guards were just a short distance away, but I couldn’t call to them. The pain, the heat, the sensation of choking.
Tears ran down my face. I wanted to breathe, but I couldn’t. The fear of suffocation set in.
Why? Why does this keep happening to me?
Oxygen drained from my lungs and my consciousness began to fade. And just as I was slipping away, I felt another impact.
And with that, my body slumped lifelessly to the ground.
Silence followed. I’d been shot through the throat and heart, and I stopped moving.
“Ahhh!” I bolted upright in bed.
It had happened again. I’d been killed again.
How many times had I ended up back at this night? I’d stopped counting after the tenth time.
No matter what I did, I always ended up dead. In the audience chamber, in the guest room, in the streets of the capital, and this time, the castle gardens.
No matter how cautious I was, no matter how much I changed things, I was always killed over and over. And I still had no idea who was behind it.
Someone else killed me besides Claude or Gilles. I knew that, but I couldn’t stop them no matter what I tried.
Ugh, this is terrible.
I lay back in bed and put my arms over my face.
Tomorrow I’d die again. It was always the same. If I didn’t have this cursed power to return from the dead, I wouldn’t have to suffer like this so much. Just because I came back didn’t mean the pain of death wasn’t real, and I was sick of it. I was sick of the pain, the fear, the suffocation.
No. Don’t give in.
The enemy had their sights on Siegfried too. I had to stop them no matter what.
Think. Who had the chance to kill me?
It had happened in the audience chamber the first time. Albert wouldn’t have made it that far. He’d have been arrested before he set foot inside.
But I couldn’t think of anyone else who’d want me dead.
I relived the scene with Gilles and Claude so many times it felt like I was going crazy, and every single time I was killed afterward.
“That’s it.”
Suddenly I had an idea.
If I was going to die over and over again, maybe I could use that to my advantage. I’d use my life as bait. What was one more death, after so many?
“Heh. Yeah, that’s it.”
If I tried to run, I couldn’t catch the one who did it. And if I couldn’t catch them, then I wouldn’t know who they were.
I’d experienced pain and suffering many times. After all, no matter how many times I died, I’d just keep coming back to life.
It felt strange, somehow, to choose the place I would die.
Most importantly, it couldn’t be outside because the enemy could take me out clean with an arrow before I even spotted them—that would be game over. It had to be indoors. Somewhere without clutter, without places to hide. If it was an open space, I’d know the moment someone approached.
So I chose the throne room as my place to die.
The room was protected by a barrier which sealed off all forms of magic to prevent any harm from befalling Siegfried. If someone wanted to kill me, they’d have to come close to me to do it.
So I was back to the beginning. That thought left me with a strange feeling as I listened to Siegfried speak the words that signaled the end of this farce. “Take them away. Falsely claiming to receive a divine revelation and attempting to incite public unrest is a grave offense. Hold them in solitary confinement until sentencing is decided.”
“Yes, Your Majesty!”
I watched, emotionless, as the royal guards took Gilles and Claude away. It didn’t matter. I was going to die again anyway. And when I died, this whole thing would just reset.
Once the nobles had all left the chamber, I spoke up before Siegfried could offer his apology. There was no point in wasting time, after all.
“There’s nothing for you to apologize for, Siegfried. You should go and determine what comes next.”
“Kreis, are you all right?”
All right? Not a single thing about this is all right. I’m about to be murdered. Again.
But of course I couldn’t say that. So I just plastered a smile on my face and told him I was fine.
“I’ll leave the rest to you. I can’t go home today, can I? Just send someone to show me to a guest room, and I’ll wait there.”
“Okay, but...are you sure you’re all right, Kreis? You seem so defeated.”
“Defeated? Why would I feel like that after everything’s finally been resolved?”
This conversation was pointless. Once I died and time rewound, it would be like it had never happened. I just wanted him to leave already. I was here to get killed.
“Kreis, if something’s bothering you, then—”
“Pardon the interruption, Your Majesty. But there’s unrest among the citizens outside. We must decide our next actions swiftly.” The prime minister entered the throne room and spoke before Siegfried could pry any further. I saw a flicker of hesitation in his eyes as he glanced my way.
“Just go. Please,” I whispered so only Siegfried could hear.
“Very well.”