“Don’t tell me you want to turn the children into spies?!”
Raiden was the head of the royal intelligence unit who worked directly under the king. Everyone knew his name, though his face and deeds were kept under wraps. His line of work simply didn’t allow for anything less.
“You were the one who told me it was important to be cunning, remember?”
“I remember, but...”
Raising children to become spies just felt too dangerous. Theodore was pouring tea for Siegfried, and he spoke up, as if sensing my apprehension.
“I’m sure the children would be more than willing to volunteer for Lord Kreis’s sake.”
“But still...” I started.
“I’m not talking about sending them into life-threatening situations. Just having them report what they observe where they’re dispatched will be enough, don’t you think?” Siegfried asked.
“People will let their guard down if they’re younger. But they need at least basic situational awareness. And if we’re deploying someone to the Louboutin estate, then I’d suggest sending a child in their early teens. I’d like to select the candidates myself,” Theodore said.
“H-Hang on! I haven’t agreed to this yet!”
This wasn’t why I’d taken the children in. Wasn’t that basically betraying their trust? I panicked while Theodore added honey to my tea and smiled quietly at me.
“Lord Kreis, you know better than anyone that sometimes people feel safer when they’re getting put to good use.”
He was right. I knew that all too well. I wasn’t used to receiving things with no strings attached. But if someone told you they needed something from you, it was more reassuring.
“Theodore, do you really think this is the right decision?” I asked.
“I do.”
“All right, then. If you say so.”
Theodore knew the children well. If he thought this was okay, then I could try to believe it too. I let out a breath, then I heard an icy voice.
“Oh? So you’ll believe him but not me?” Siegfried asked.
“It’s not that I don’t believe you. Theodore just knows the children better.”
“Who is he, anyway? He talks like he knows you quite well.” Siegfried stared pointedly at Theodore, sizing him up. Theodore remained perfectly calm, which was impressive in front of the king. His composure really was something. It was no wonder he’d ranked so high in the reader polls. He had nerves of steel.
“I am one of the orphans Lord Kreis took in.”
“You’re an orphan?” I didn’t blame Siegfried for not believing it. Theodore’s calm demeanor and graceful comportment weren’t something one learned overnight, but he’d worked very hard in secret to become my butler.
He was a hard worker who pushed himself to learn and grow every day. He’d even exchanged letters with Lucas to study the formal etiquette of being a proper butler. Watching him made me feel like a proud father.
Look at my boy! He’s such a hard worker. Give him all the praise!
“When I mentioned I didn’t have a butler, he insisted on becoming one himself. I never imagined he’d be so capable, though.”
“I still have a lot to learn. I want to make sure Lord Kreis is never ashamed of me.”
“Theodore, may I hug and kiss you to express my gratitude?” I asked.
“If that is your wish, my lord.”
“Stop right there,” Siegfried interrupted in an icy voice. “Kreis, are you telling me you hug and kiss him?”
I quickly shook my head. “No! It’s just a figure of speech! I’m just grateful, that’s all.”
“I’m honored, my lord,” Theodore said with a small bow of his head.
“I see. You’ve never said such a thing to me, even though I’ve done so much for you?” Siegfried averted his gaze.
“I’m incredibly grateful to you, Siegfried.”
“Yet you’ve never said it.”
This was the king we were talking about. He was dignified and commanded respect just by walking into the room. And yet here he was, pouting like a child and refusing to look at me.
I couldn’t help but blink in surprise.
He’d always been open with me, ever since we were children. But during my first life as Kreis, Siegfried had always been calm, composed, and kind. The only time he’d ever truly lost it was during those hellish days after Kreis had been captured.
But this time was different. Siegfried was more emotional this time. But the only thing that had changed from last time around was...me.
And if it was my presence that made Siegfried change...
“Kreis, it’s cruel to ignore me,” he said.
If that is really the case...then that might make me really happy.
It made the guilt I carried for not being the real Kreis just a little lighter.
“Siegfried, I am grateful to the point where I could hug and kiss you.”
“I’d accept it anytime.” He dramatically spread his arms wide in an invitation. I couldn’t help but burst into laughter.
“I appreciate the sentiment.”
“Oh? Well, if you ever want it to be more than that, you know where to find me.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Maybe Siegfried was opening his heart to me more than he ever had to the original Kreis. My heart pounded at the thought that my presence was actually being accepted here, even though I was never meant to exist in this world. But at the same time, I felt guilt toward the real Kreis, which made it very complicated.
“You don’t need to worry about that.”
Professor didn’t understand. I’d already lost my real name, my face, my body—everything that had made me me. And the more time I spent living as Kreis, the blurrier the line between us became and the more the memories of who I used to be faded away.
And yet it felt impossible to fully embrace myself as Kreis. I was myself, but I wasn’t. It was uncomfortable feeling like I was living in someone else’s skin, and I didn’t think that sensation would ever go away.
“Thank you, Siegfried.”
He simply smiled warmly and said, “You’re welcome.”
Dinner that night was very lively.
“Young master! I thought you’d grown up, but you didn’t eat any of your tomatoes! What’s the meaning of this?”
“Karina, could you please not call me that in front of the children? It’s embarrassing,” Siegfried muttered.
“What’s embarrassing is being picky about your food! Not a single child in this household leaves anything on their plate.”
Originally I’d planned on having a quiet dinner with Siegfried, just the two of us. But he insisted on having dinner as I usually did. When I mentioned I normally ate with the children, he said he’d love to do that too, so that was what we did.
And on top of that was Karina. She had been Siegfried’s wet nurse long ago, and now she’d prepared an entire feast of her home cooking just for the occasion.
He blinked in surprise at the sheer number of dishes on the table. Since we didn’t have many servants, we just put everything out at once instead of serving multiple courses.