Chapter 2

Diiing. The elevator doors opened with a cute little chime, letting in the lively hum of human chatter intermingled with an electronic voice announcement. “—Number thirty. If you have ticket number thirty, please come to the payment counter.” The first floor was the entrance to the hospital. Patients sat in the rows of seats in front of the reception desk, waiting to be called. The hospital was as busy as ever; about 80 percent of the chairs were full. That was practically inevitable, though, since it was the only general hospital in the area. It was a good opportunity in a way, having all these eyes around. After all, the best place to hide a tree was in a forest. In a crowd, she wouldn’t have to worry as much about getting busted. Exhaling quietly, she gripped the handrims of her wheelchair, then pushed them sharply, propelling herself forward. She moved as quickly as she could, but not so fast that the people around her would get suspicious. She rolled past the reception counter, maintaining her nonchalant expression, taking care to make the backpack in her lap seem as unobtrusive as possible. The wheelchair was old, and it rattled with every push. That was rough on the nerves. She stealthily turned into the corridor that led to the hospital’s back door. As she was rolling along, holding her breath, she spotted a large woman walking up the hall toward her. “Oh, Sarina. What’s the matter?” Her heart gave a guilty jump. Cold sweat dripped down her back. She knew this nurse. The woman was around forty with a plump, matronly look. She liked chatting and always had something fun to talk about, like the tastiest new products at the hospital store or the silly mistakes new nurses had made. However, right now, even just speaking to the woman made Sarina tense up. She wanted to get out of here, fast. “Um, I…I’m a little thirsty. I was going to go buy some juice.” “Oh, is that right? Well, nobody could blame you in this heat.” The nurse didn’t seem to doubt her in the slightest. The woman’s eyes skimmed over the clipboard she was holding as she waved to Sarina. “You’ve got an IV infusion at one this afternoon, so just make sure you’re back in your room by then.” “I will,” Sarina said as brightly as possible. Be back in her room by one. Considering what she was about to attempt, that was definitely not going to happen. She felt a pang of conscience lying to this kind nurse, but sometimes these things had to be done. Right now, there was something even more important than an IV on her agenda. Sarina sneaked down the narrow hallway toward the back door. It was just as she’d thought; there weren’t many people to see her in the corridor that led past the medication and storage rooms. She’d probably be able to slip out of the hospital safely this way. “…Yesss. I made it.” Sarina reached out toward the doorknob, turned it, and pushed the back door open. Bright sunlight lanced in through the gap, causing her to squint. Mild, humid summer air enfolded her. It smelled like the forest. Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t been outside in a while. About a month, maybe. It felt somehow refreshing being in a world without air-conditioning. Sarina gave a little sigh of relief. “That was close, but it all worked out in the end.” She clutched her chair’s handrims. Now, finally, she’d escape this prison they called a hospital. “Not much farther to go now! Wait for me, Ai!” Freedom, here I come. Elated, Sarina pushed herself forward, but— “…Huh?” No matter how hard she pushed on the handrims, the wheelchair wouldn’t budge. The wheels weren’t turning. What was going on? Had she gotten stuck on something? She looked over her shoulder. A man she didn’t know was standing right behind her chair, gazing down at her. “What are you doing?” “—Gyeeeaaaaagh!” Sarina let out a weird shriek. She hadn’t expected anyone to be standing so close to her. “Man, that was loud. Don’t scare me like that.” The young man was wearing a white lab coat. Her voice must have seriously startled him, because his face was scrunched up in a grimace. He was tall and slim, and the square frames of his glasses looked good with his clean-cut features. There was nothing eye-catching about him, but he seemed intelligent and well brought up. She thought he’d probably fall into the category of handsome. Sarina didn’t recognize him, but considering the coat he was wearing, it seemed likely that he worked at the hospital. He looked fairly young to be a doctor, probably only in his mid-twenties. When she looked at the name tag on his coat, it said Gorou Amamiya, Intern. “Um… ‘Intern’?” “It’s basically a doctor in training. I started my residency here this year.” “Oh wow,” Sarina responded, nodding slightly. Even though this man was just out of med school, it seemed like he was still only partway through his studies. “Becoming a doctor sounds like a lot of work.” It was a noncommittal remark to end the conversation, and she turned to face forward, saying, “Well, I better get going.” She didn’t have time for a friendly chat with a doctor in training right now. Her chair still wouldn’t budge, though. Behind her, Gorou the intern sighed. “Come on, seriously? You’re trying to go outside in your wheelchair? You know that’s not okay.” Apparently, he was what was blocking her escape, and he had a firm grip on the handles of her chair. “You’re an inpatient here, right? I can’t just turn a blind eye while you try to escape.” “I-I’m not escaping.” Sarina forced a smile. “See that? I was just headed over there to buy a drink.” “There are vending machines in the hospital, too. Why would you have to go outside?” “Ummm, well… I wanted to get a little fresh air for a change.” “You could just go to the observation deck on the roof for that. You wouldn’t even need your doctor’s permission.” “The thing is…the roof was kind of crowded, so I didn’t have much choice.” “Hmm,” the intern muttered, sounding suspicious. His eyes went to the backpack on Sarina’s lap. “What’s that big bag for, then? You need all that just to get a breath of fresh air outside?” “This is, uh…” “No matter how objectively I try to look at this, you’re clearly gearing up for an outing.” He’d used logic to completely cut her down, and Sarina let out a groan. He must have guessed from the start that she was trying to make a break for it. Cheap tricks weren’t going to work on him. “By the way, oh, um…should I call you Amamiya-sensei? Or Gorou-sensei?” “Whatever’s fine,” the intern said, as if he wasn’t particularly interested. He had such a brusque attitude. Sarina’s intuition told her he was probably more of a sadist than a masochist. “Gorou-sensei, then. What were you doing out here, Sensei?” “Me? Oh. Skipping work,” he told her without so much as a blush. Sarina hadn’t been expecting that. “Skipping work?” she responded inadvertently. “Whenever the hospital director sees me, he launches into these long, pointless stories, so I skipped out on my training. I thought it was pretty unlikely for him to find me if I was hiding out here.” “You’re hiding…? Is it okay for you to do something like that?” “No, it’s really not. But sometimes you just need to blow off a little steam.” Gorou’s expression softened. At first, she’d thought he was uptight, but he might be easy to talk to after all. “Oh, absolutely. Blowing off steam is so important. That’s true for everybody, don’t you think?” “Yeah, I’d say so.” “In that case, it must be okay for me to blow off steam outside.” “Huh?” Gorou frowned. “No, of course it’s not.” “Oh, come on, it totally is. It’s unfair to say it’s okay for you but not for me.” “It is not unfair. If they find out I let you go, I’ll get lectured by the director.” Gorou shook his head as if he thoroughly hated that idea. He must really not get along with the director. “Regardless, if you want to go out, you’ll need to follow proper protocol. Either get permission from your attending physician or hurry up and get better. Those are your only options.” “Geez. The whole problem here is that I can’t do that, okay?” “Then just tough it out. At least that way, you won’t cause me any problems.” Sarina puffed out her cheeks. She was bad at dealing with argumentative people. If this was how things were going to be, she’d just have to force her way through. She clasped her hands in front of her chest and bowed her head. “Come on, Sensei, please! Let me go, just this once! I’ll never ask you for anything ever again! I’ll do anything to pay you back!” “Anything? Like what?” “Um… You know. I could be your girlfriend. Or something.” For a second, Gorou looked stunned, but then he immediately responded with “No thanks.” There was zero hesitation in his tone, and he said it completely straight-faced. His reply inflicted a grievous wound on Sarina’s pride. “Wait-wait-wait, what?! ‘No thanks’?! You could at least consider it a little, okay?! Or at least act like you’re thinking about it?!” “Well, I mean, you’re clearly a kid.” “I—I am not.” “How old are you, then?” “Twelve.” Gorou gently shook his head. From his expression, it didn’t even seem like he thought that dignified a response. “By the way, where were you planning to go once you got out of here?” “Um…” Sarina looked up at the sky. How should she answer that one? “Somewhere…kind of far.” “Somewhere far away? Don’t tell me you were planning to go into town.” The hospital stood on top of a hill in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing around it but forest and ravines and a single narrow, poor excuse for a road that led to the town. That only made sense, though, considering the hospital’s slogan was “Providing the very best treatment in the quiet natural environment of Takachiho.” Sarina had heard a nurse say so once. It was, in fact, quiet, and the air was clear, making it a terrific place to rest and recover. In terms of access to downtown, though, it couldn’t have been worse. You needed a car just to go on a quick shopping run. For wheelchair users like Sarina, it was as inconvenient as possible. In a sense, it was a natural prison. Gorou went on, sounding exasperated. “Don’t tell me you were planning to take that wheelchair down the highway. Do you have any idea how many hours it would take to get to the station in Takachiho? That’s reckless in the extreme.” “Oh, no, the station wasn’t my goal.” “So what was, then?” “Well…Tokyo.” Gorou’s eyes widened. “What? Tokyo…? No matter how you look at it, that’s just crazy.” His mouth hung wide open. He seemed stunned. For someone who looked so calm and composed, this intern was surprisingly expressive. Sarina tilted her head slightly. “Tee-hee?” “—So, uh… What?” Gorou’s face was grim. They were in Room 201 of the inpatient wing. Sarina’s hospital room. In the end, her escape had been foiled. Gorou had firmly held on to the handles of the wheelchair and forcibly returned her to her room. Sarina was currently sitting on the bed she’d become very familiar with, getting cross-examined by Gorou. “So, Sarina, you’re saying you were, uh…trying to get to Tokyo to see an idol concert?” “That’s right,” she said proudly. “Once I got to the station in Takachiho, I could take a bus to the airport. Then I’d just hop on a plane and zip over to Tokyo.” “Uh, it’s a bit harder than just zipping over there.” Gorou looked dumbfounded. “Going to Tokyo in a wheelchair is a lot easier said than done. And doing it alone…? It doesn’t get much more reckless than that.” “Oh, I’m not so sure. I don’t think we can really know unless I try.” “All else aside, you’re ill. You’d literally be risking your life. It’s that dangerous. You want to see the show that badly? Is this A Komachi idol group really—?” “Wrong! It’s B Komachi, not A Komachi! I’ve told you a zillion times already!” Even when Sarina yelled, Gorou just nodded and let it pass with a brief “Oh yeah, right.” He’d been like this the whole time. No matter how enthusiastically Sarina talked about wanting to go to Tokyo, Gorou just didn’t get it. Sarina pouted. “They’re doing a show to reveal a new song tomorrow. They haven’t had one of those in ages. I wanted to see it in person, no matter what.” “Then why not just ask your doctor for permission to stay out overnight? Then you can call your parents and have them come pick you up or something. There are all sorts of ways to do it.” “I already tried that, obviously. If I’d been able to just get permission, I wouldn’t have thought about making a break for it.” “They told you you’re on bed rest, right? You should behave and listen to your doctor about that sort of stuff.” “Nooo! I’d do anything to go to the live performance.” Gorou gave a weary shrug, the exhaustion showing on his face. “I don’t really get any of this, but if you want to see idols, couldn’t you just watch them on TV? This, uh…B Komachi, wasn’t it? Aren’t they on any music programs?” “If they were, this wouldn’t be half as hard.” Sarina sighed. This intern didn’t seem to know much about the world of idols. She’d have to teach him properly. “Sensei, the thing is, B Komachi is an indie idol group.” “Indie?” “Idols who aren’t in the media much. Mostly they just perform live shows.” “Hmm,” murmured Gorou, as if he wasn’t really paying attention. “In other words, they’re not that popular.” “It’s not that they’re not popular. They’re just not popular yet!” “Which means they’re not popular now, right?” “Honestly! If you talk like that, you’ll have B Komachi fans all around the world yelling at you!” As a matter of fact, although the indie idol world was teeming with rivals, B Komachi was rapidly distinguishing itself. Most of their shows were still in small Tokyo venues, but Sarina’s instincts told her that one day, they were bound to be known nationwide. “More than anything else, the amazing thing about B Komachi is how fresh they feel! All the members are in middle school, and their singing and dancing just screams that they’ll be future stars! Since they’ve got so much potential, they improve like crazy with each new release. It’s almost like you can follow their growth in real time! Seriously, whenever they release a new song, it feels like they turn up the voltage to another level, so just seeing footage from their shows gets me all worked up and makes me go ‘Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!’ every single time!” Despite Sarina’s enthusiasm, Gorou didn’t seem to get it. His only response was a clearly apathetic “Huh.” A life lived without knowing B Komachi was a tragedy. She was going to have to start getting a bit more serious about her proselytizing. “Their center, Ai, is especially amazing! She’s good at singing and dancing, too, but her smile always shines so bright. I think she’s probably the cutest girl I’ve ever seen! She seems so incredibly grown up that it’s hard to believe we’re the same age… The other girls are all former models, but even they don’t overshadow her—if anything, it’s more like she’s so super gorgeous, they can’t hold a candle to her! Ai’s going to go big for sure! I mean it! You can take that to the bank!” Sarina reached over to the bedside table and picked up a DVD case. It was B Komachi’s debut concert. “Here, Sensei, look! Ai’s the girl in the middle! She’s so adorable it hurts, right?!” A girl in a crimson idol outfit stood right in the center of the DVD cover. Her black hair streamed down her back. Her eyes sparkled like jewels. Her self-confident smile shone brighter than the sun. Even compared to the other members of B Komachi, she was unarguably, overwhelmingly cute. Of all the girls Sarina had ever laid eyes on, it was safe to say that Ai from B Komachi was the cutest. “Hmm. Ai, huh?” Gorou’s response wasn’t promising, though. He’d only glanced at the cover, and it hadn’t seemed to faze him. “Well, I do think she’s cute, but…” His response sounded sort of forced, and Sarina couldn’t help but feel a little offended. “…But? But what?” “Her expression looks a little stiff, I guess you’d say. It feels like there’s something behind it. As if she’s forcing herself to wear this mask as an idol to protect herself.” Gorou’s casual remark startled Sarina a little. It was something she’d also sensed faintly every time she looked at Ai. His observational skills were pretty impressive if he’d noticed that at first glance. “Well, I think idols probably have it rough. I bet even Ai’s got troubles,” Sarina said. “You reckon that’s what it is?” “Uh-huh. I’m sure. And even then, she never, ever stops smiling. That’s exactly what makes her so amazing.” Sarina had pointed out Ai’s charms, but it seemed she still wasn’t getting through to Gorou. No matter how passionately she spoke about the idol, it just went in one ear and out the other. Did he think this was all just some sort of childish nonsense? That didn’t sit right with her… “Besides,” Gorou went on, “idols’ faces probably get digitally edited, so you don’t know whether she’s actually cute.” Now that was a glaring insult. “They do not!” Sarina yelled angrily. “Ai’s cuteness is one hundred percent pure and natural!! She’s a goddess who’s come down to Earth! I’m telling you, there is absolutely no need for touch-ups!” “You seem really confident, but have you ever actually seen this girl in real life, Sarina?” There wasn’t much she could do to refute that, so Sarina just lowered her voice. “I mean…I haven’t gotten a proper look at her, but still.” After all, she was sick and couldn’t really go out much. Sarina had actually been taken to a B Komachi show once. It had been back at the end of June, when her condition had been better. She’d started feeling bad on the way there, though. They’d made it to the venue, but Sarina hadn’t been well enough to attend the show, and the doctors had sent her right back to the hospital. All she’d managed to come away with that day was one prize from a merch gacha machine. In the end, she hadn’t gotten to see Ai in person. By now, it had become a bitter memory. “I don’t need to see her to know. Ai’s the cutest girl in the universe. If you watched her movies, Sensei, they’d knock you right on your butt.” “I’m not so sure about that.” Frowning, Gorou pushed his glasses up his nose. His eyes were on the DVD case in Sarina’s hands. “I don’t really understand what’s cute about idols to begin with. Frankly, I don’t get what’s so fun about watching girls sing and dance.” “Huh? You don’t get it? Like, actually?” “Well, idols are basically just peppy young girls singing overly energetic songs. If you’re going to spend time and money on entertainment like that, I think reading a novel would be better.” Gorou’s views on idols made Sarina clutch her head. “Yikes… Sensei, that’s awful. I mean, like, seriously awful.” “What’s so awful about it?” “Your emotions are all dried up and dead.” “Huh?” Gorou cocked his head, perplexed. Apparently, he hadn’t noticed it himself. She’d really have to spell it out for him. “In this day and age, even dogs dance to idol songs; I saw it on a funny video show on TV a while back. That means dogs are more emotionally sensitive than you are, Sensei.” Sarina’s blunt comment seemed to get under Gorou’s skin. His eyes narrowed behind his glasses. “Excuse me? Who are you calling less sensitive than a dog? …If you ask me, the people who go crazy for idols are weirder.” “What do you mean, weirder?” “For better and for worse, idols are all about their appearance. There isn’t a shred of actual art in their songs. That’s been particularly true in recent years. They make their money by fawning over fans through meet-and-greet events and things. You could even call it blasphemy against musical culture.” “Ooooh, listen to you, talking like you’re some kind of expert. I bet you don’t even know any idol songs,” Sarina said, egging him on. Gorou pressed his lips together with a huff. Apparently, she’d hit the nail on the head. “You’re not wrong… I’ve never really sat down and listened to one. But only because I never even considered listening to rubbish like that.” Ah, I see. That made sense to her. Bit by bit, Sarina was starting to understand this intern Gorou Amamiya. As far as Sarina could see, he was the type of bigheaded person who only knew a very narrow world. Lots of doctors and intellectuals were like that. Since they believed so strongly in their own superiority, they didn’t spare a thought for parts of the world they didn’t already know. For people like that, the most efficient approach was firsthand experience. “Okay, I know.” Sarina handed the DVD case to Gorou. “Here. I’ll let you borrow you this, so make sure you watch it.” “Huh? I mean, you can say that…but honestly, I really don’t think I’ll be bothered.” Gorou sounded reluctant, but Sarina pressed him. “Please. If you watch that, I won’t tell the director you were skipping work.” The word director made Gorou wince. “Sarina. You’re quite the strategist.” “You don’t need to worry. They’re good songs, I swear. They’ll make you get all emotional.” “I seriously doubt that,” Gorou said, his eyes lowering to the DVD case. He stared at Ai’s million-dollar smile with complete disinterest. Clearly, he didn’t get how amazing she was. Sarina was a little curious about how a hardhead like this would react when he heard Ai sing. “If Ai’s songs really don’t move you one bit when you hear them, I’ll get down on my hands and knees and apologize.” “Then that’s pretty much set in stone.” Reluctantly, Gorou slipped the DVD case into the pocket of his lab coat. Yessssss! Sarina mentally pumped her fist. The first stage of her proselytizing had been a success. Now she just had to wait for his reaction. Today’s escape plan might have failed, but she’d found something new to look forward to. What would Gorou think after he heard Ai sing? If all went well and he turned into a raging B Komachi fan, then Sarina would benefit as well. Next time she desperately wanted to escape from the hospital, it would be reassuring to have his help. Being a fan inside a hospital was tough, and there were all sorts of limitations. She’d been thinking for a while now that she needed a collaborator. If I manage to get that intern on my team, being a fan here will become so much easier. Sarina’s heart was bursting with a type of excitement she’d never felt before. Gorou’s next visit to Sarina’s hospital room happened even more quickly than she’d expected. Outside the window, clouds towered in the evening sky, and the cicadas droned on in an endless chorus. It was a week after she’d loaned him the DVD. “Their singing skills were puerile, and frankly, the songs themselves had no depth.” Gorou was sitting arrogantly on a stool beside her bed, giving his haughty evaluation with a snooty expression on his face. “I mean, ‘Idols for You, the Sign Is B’? …What was that? What message were they trying to convey to their listeners? Who could even tell? To me, it made me feel like ‘Yeah, this is about what I expected from idol songs.’” If he’d posted that online, he would have instantly made himself a bullseye for flaming. Forget B Komachi fans—a comment like that was liable to make an enemy of the entire idol industry. However, hearing it didn’t upset Sarina all that much. Although he continued speaking smugly, Gorou’s expressions were surprisingly animated. “That said, I suppose it did make me feel strange.” “Strange how?” Sarina asked, cocking her head. Gorou mirrored her reaction. “It’s not a feeling I’ve ever had before, so it’s hard to describe, but… Um, how should I put it? That girl, the main vocal, when I saw her smile, it sort of made me feel like I was being shaken to my very core.” “Ahhh, yeah, I totally get that,” Sarina said, nodding emphatically. “There’s a power to Ai’s smile. Once you see it, you’ll never forget it.” “A power?” “Yep. I think that sparkling gaze of hers has magic in it that captivates anyone who sees her. It means you’ve fallen under her spell, too, Sensei, no matter what you say.” Gorou frowned, crossing his arms pensively. “Hmm. I didn’t fall under her spell…or I don’t think I did anyway. Although I will admit that video felt strangely addictive.” “So basically, you’re saying you fell for her.” “No, wait, Sarina. Don’t jump to conclusions.” But even as he spoke, Gorou looked mystified. He definitely seemed to be showing an interest in B Komachi. Sarina thought that was a good sign. Gorou adjusted his glasses. “Well, regardless,” he said, as if trying to cover for himself, “I can’t say I’ve managed to come to any significant conclusions just by observing a couple of music videos. I’ll need to conduct further research. I don’t deny that.” “Um… In other words, you want to listen to more B Komachi songs?” “Put simply, yes.” “Well, geez, you could’ve just said that.” A giggle escaped her. This intern was kind of entertaining. Sarina reached over to her bedside table and took several DVD cases out of the drawer. All four were recordings of B Komachi shows that she’d managed to snag online. “Here, Sensei. Have fun.” “Don’t get the wrong idea,” Gorou said, even as he took the DVDs. “I won’t be viewing these for pleasure. It’s simply to verify how Ai’s performances affect the human psyche.” He went on, saying things like “I might be able to apply it to my clinical practice.” It was funny the way he sounded like he was making excuses for watching them. Maybe he was reluctant to change his tune so quickly after talking all that smack about idol songs the other day. He really did have a difficult personality. “Oh, right,” Sarina said. “Since you’re borrowing those, take Ai’s Talk Masterpiece Collection, too.” “Her ‘Talk Masterpiece Collection’?” “It’s clips of Ai’s funny chat segments I cut together from their official net radio show. There’s two hours’ worth on a USB.” Sarina opened the drawer again, this time taking out a USB drive. It was something she’d poured a ton of time and effort into making. When she handed it to Gorou, his eyebrows drew together. “Seriously? Two hours is quite a lot. It’s as long as a movie… You put this together yourself?” “Yup! It’s completely hilarious, so that two hours will just fly by.” “Really? A show is one thing, but I seriously doubt I’ll find it entertaining just listening to an idol talk.” Gorou was as critical as ever, just as she’d expected. Sarina wagged her index finger from side to side. “Tsk-tsk-tsk. You don’t get it, Sensei. For idols, a conversation is just another stage to perform on. Ai’s cuteness is super concentrated in her casual dialogue.” “Hmm… Well, I’ll give it a listen if I have time.” Gorou slipped the USB stick into his coat pocket. Ever so gradually, his resistance to Sarina’s recommendations seemed to be lowering. This was good. The DVDs of their shows already had a grip on Gorou’s heart, so if he completed Ai’s Talk Masterpiece Collection, there was a chance he’d pitch head over heels into full-blown obsession. Sarina couldn’t help but chuckle. Her plan to convert more followers to the church of Ai was going even more smoothly than she’d anticipated. “Come back soon, Sensei.” “—Ai sure is formidable,” Gorou said the second he walked into Sarina’s hospital room. He looked serious. It had only been three days since his last visit. He was carrying a plastic bag with a bread roll and a milk, and he sat down on the stool by her bed as if the spot belonged to him. Apparently, he was planning to have his lunch here. “The episode when they all went to try the new orange desserts left me stunned. That bit where she said, dead serious, ‘Oh, hey, these taste like tangerine!’ Could she be any more of a natural-born comedian?” “Right? And everyone else was completely taken aback. They were all like, ‘Ob-vi-ous-ly!’” “When they were planning to showcase the onsen, she mistook the garden pond in the hotel for the hot spring. Then she said she’d seen a black cat by the road, but when she ran up to it, it turned out to be a black garbage bag. And she did that exact same thing twice… All the clips were full of completely unhinged moments. It makes you wonder how she manages in everyday life.” It seemed that Gorou hadn’t just watched the DVDs—he’d also listened to the Talk Masterpiece Collection. He was surprisingly thorough. Munching on his roll, he went on impassively. “The truly terrifying thing is the way she’s aware of her innate comedic skill and uses it cleverly, as a weapon. She’s never pushy, and she doesn’t talk over the other members. She goes with the flow of the conversation around her and injects comments that are exquisitely off the mark. If I had to describe it, she basically delivers offbeat comments with timing that perfectly matches the beat of the conversation.” “Exactly, Sensei! That’s what I thought, too!” Sarina said, nodding vigorously. “She was always funny, but I think it was probably around this summer? Anyway, recently, her timing has gotten really, really good.” “Absolutely.” Gorou adjusted his glasses, looking rather proud. “I’d bet Ai isn’t planning that out, either. She instinctively picks up the flow of the conversation, then reacts to it in an extremely natural way. It’s clearly a talent she was born with.” Gorou was openly praising Ai, but Sarina felt as if she were the one being complimented. She was really happy about it. “I’m not familiar with the idol industry, so I don’t know for sure, but I doubt there are any other twelve-year-olds around who could pull that off.” “You said it. Ai’s a genius. I’m glad you see it, too, Sensei.” “Whether I’m her fan is a different matter entirely. Still, that girl’s definitely special.” Gorou had admitted that Ai was exceptional. That already felt like enough of an achievement to Sarina. “So you’re saying you enjoyed both the DVDs and the Talk Masterpiece Collection?” “Well… They weren’t bad. It was a decent way to kill time.” Gorou averted his eyes a little awkwardly. The way he’d put it was arrogant, but from his attitude, it was clear he’d found them more satisfying than he’d imagined. Sarina couldn’t keep the grin off her face. “You’re funny, Sensei.” “Huh? What’s funny?” “Oh, it’s nothing.” Come to think of it, Sarina didn’t think she’d ever spent this much time discussing a single topic with somebody else before. She didn’t get any visitors, and the doctors and nurses only saw her as another patient, so she hadn’t really been able to talk about her hobbies. Gorou was different, though. He took their conversations seriously, and he really went through the B Komachi media she gave him. He’s nice, Sarina thought earnestly. She was looking up at him steadily, and Gorou tilted his head. “Hmm? What? You won’t make me a B Komachi believer just by gazing at me like that.” “Oh, I don’t know. I wonder how long you’ll be able to keep saying that. Eh-heh-heh.” Sarina smiled at him. For some reason, spreading the good word of fandom to Sensei was extremely fun. Her illness made her body feel heavy, but strangely, it seemed lighter these days. In hindsight, that was probably when it began. When Gorou became more special than anybody else to Sarina. After that, Gorou started visiting Sarina’s hospital room frequently. On some days, he’d give his review of the CDs she’d loaned him; on others, they’d play a DVD of one of B Komachi’s shows and he’d share his personal observations on Ai’s dances. “It’s just as you said, Sarina: Mei-Mei has better dance technique. Still, there’s something in Ai’s dancing that transcends simple skill or lack thereof.” “Oh, you think so, too, Sensei?!” She smiled at Gorou, who was watching the DVD beside her. As she talked with him, Sarina had come to understand something: This intern was argumentative and a bit of a pain, but he was incredibly observant. He’d picked up on more of Ai’s virtues than Sarina had ever imagined he would. “Yeah, see, right there. That turn.” Gorou hit a button on the remote, pausing the DVD. On the screen, Ai was frozen with her arms wide, a bright smile on her face. Even frozen in time, she looks as pretty as a picture, thought Sarina. Somebody could make a bronze statue of her like that, and it would be a work of art. They’d call it The Vibrant Angel or something. Gorou was staring fixedly at the still image of Ai. “See that? It looks like there’s a strong core running from the trunk of her body all the way to her fingertips.” “Hmm-hmm.” “She’s moving as if she has a perfect understanding of what she needs to express. She probably sees both song and dance as two parts of the same form of acting.” “I see. Acting, huh…?” The things Gorou pointed out often caught her by surprise. He noticed different things. Sarina couldn’t help but empathize when she saw Ai dance. Watching her dance to a song about first love made her own heart beat faster, while breakup songs made her terribly sad. It really was similar to the way she felt watching dramas on TV. “Yeah. Ai probably has a genius for acting. Since she plays parts that suit whatever situation she’s in, she’s able to immediately adapt to all sorts of scenarios. That ability is even more impressive than her looks.” There was a certain enthusiasm in Gorou’s tone as he spoke about Ai. Just hearing it made Sarina happy. “I’ve said this before,” he went on, “but she has a sort of idol mask. There was a slight edge to her smile when their debut single came out, but as time passed, it grew more and more natural. It feels as if she’s genuinely made that mask her own lately.” “That’s so true! Ai’s really expressive. In their music videos, she laughs, cries, gets mad… It feels like she can do anything.” Ai was an expert liar. She was probably dealing with all sorts of difficulties behind the scenes, but you never even caught a hint of them in front of the camera. That was incredible. Sarina secretly wanted to be like that. She wanted to keep smiling forever, no matter what painful things were lying in wait for her. She didn’t want to make the people who were important to her sad. She wanted to be good at acting, like Ai. As she was thinking about that, a realization struck her. “Oh! Then do you think Ai could be in plays and things, as well as being an idol?” “An actress, huh? Yeah, I think that’s definitely possible.” Gorou crossed his arms, apparently thinking hard. “She’s only twelve, so considering how much room she has to grow, she could even aim for an Academy Award.” “Wow! That’s Ai for you!” Sarina clapped her hands. “Oh… But I’ve been her fan since her debut, so I want her to keep working hard as part of B Komachi, too… That’s a tough one.” “She may be able to handle being both an actress and an idol. I think she has that kind of potential.” Gorou gave a big, decisive nod. His desire to watch over Ai as she grew was written all over his face. He felt just like Sarina did, and that made her happier than anything. “You know, the way you’re talking, Sensei, Ai’s totally taken you captive, too, hasn’t she?” “Oh, uh…” Gorou shook his head awkwardly. “I’m just speaking from a neutral standpoint. These are nothing more than objective observations. After all, I’m not interested in idols.” “You’re not interested…but?” “There’s no but. That’s it. I’m really not interested.” “I see… I guess that’s how it’ll have to be. In that case, you don’t care that there’s another new B Komachi single coming out next month, right?” “Huh? No way, for real?” Gorou’s eyes widened behind his glasses. Boy, is he easy to read, Sarina thought. That had been a textbook tsundere move. This intern was a whole lot of fun to play with. By now, Sarina treasured Gorou’s visits to her hospital room more than anything. “Ever since the day I met youuu. You’ve been on my miiind. “Your awkward, blushing SMIIIIIILES! Make my heart race all the TIIIIIIME! ” Fists clenched, Gorou enthusiastically belted out the lyrics. He was singing the B-side track from B Komachi’s second single, “First Love Memory.” He’d gotten really fired up, leaving the collar of his lab coat drenched in sweat. Sarina’s hospital room had become an impromptu live music club. Their backing music came from the phone she’d set by her pillow. The mic was a bottle of antiseptic. The color film they’d stuck over her bedside lamp gave the room a psychedelic atmosphere. “What could happen, even I don’t knooow. But my heart keeps racing, it just won’t slooow. “I spend way too LOOOOOONG! Looking in the MIRROOOOOOR! Making sure I look PERFEEEEEECT! Before going to SEE YOOOOOOU! ” Gorou launched into Ai’s dance from the music video, waving his hands and wiggling his hips, then twirling so that his white coat flared out. Sarina would have expected no less from somebody who’d watched the video with her every single day. His timing was perfect. The routine was so sharp it made her shriek with laughter. “The miracle of FIRST LOOOVE! I can’t stop these feelings, they’re about to EXPL—” Gorou had just launched into the chorus when the door burst open. “Hey! Quiet down in here!” “Whoa!” Sarina hurriedly shut her mouth. The suddenness of it seemed to have startled Gorou, too. He’d frozen up with his right hand pointing toward the ceiling, as still as a statue. “That singing echoed all the way down the hall! Good grief, can’t you two tell the difference between a hospital room and a karaoke lounge?!” The man who’d stalked into the room shouting angrily was Sarina’s attending physician, Dr. Toudou. At around fifty years old, his hairline was receding pretty dramatically, and blue veins stood out on his expansive forehead. The doctor looked like a hardnose, and it turned out he was, in fact, serious to a fault and a stickler for rules—both of which made Sarina rather uncomfortable around him. That said, they really might have gotten too carried away this time. Pretending to put on a show as idols in her hospital room must have been a breach of etiquette. “Um, I, uh… I’m sorry,” Sarina apologized meekly. “Just be careful,” Dr. Toudou said with an exasperated sigh. He’d been surprisingly subdued in his reproach. Sarina had expected to get more of a scolding than that. Apparently, the brunt of his anger was focused on Gorou today. Dr. Toudou turned his stern gaze on the intern. “I swear, Amamiya. The director was grumbling that you’d been neglecting your clinical practice lately, so I wondered what you were up to. And it turns out you’re jumping around like a fool in front of a patient… What are you thinking? Is this some kind of joke?” “Ha-ha-ha. No, sir, of course it isn’t a joke. I’m quite serious.” Gorou didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed. Undaunted, he faced Dr. Toudou, still holding the antiseptic-bottle mic. “Sarina here is helping me perform a clinical study.” “A clinical study?” “I’m researching the medical effects of idol songs. As I’m sure you know, Sensei, beautiful music reduces stress. My theory is that those effects can be heightened by singing and dancing to the music, instead of simply listening to it.” “Are you nuts?” “Singing causes the secretion of serotonin, improving both mental and physical health. That’s been medically verified already. Don’t you think it would be several times more effective if the song was by an idol the patient liked? I call it the Fan Activity Theory of Health.” “The Fan Activity Theory of Health… You’re serious?” “Yes, I am. If you cheer someone on, it also makes you happy. I’m certain my theory is correct. Once I’ve written up this clinical study into a research paper, I intend to present it at an academic conference,” Gorou told Dr. Toudou, completely serious. Inwardly, Sarina was desperately fighting back laughter. This intern had a real talent for coming up with excuses on the fly. He’d said Ai had a genius for acting, but Sarina felt like he’d give her a run for her money. “Isn’t that right, Sarina?” Gorou asked, glancing at her. Going along with his story seemed like the best move. “Uh-huh, that’s right,” she agreed with a nod. “It’s a clinical study. It’s not Sensei’s fault.” “It’s not his fault? Now, see here…” Dr. Toudou scowled at Gorou. He was clearly thinking, What are you making a child say? Sarina couldn’t let Gorou take all the blame for this, though. “It’s okay,” she said, backing him up. “It’s been a long time since I laughed this much. I think the experiment was a huge success.” “That’s not the issue here,” Dr. Toudou retorted, but then he fell silent. It seemed like Sarina and Gorou conspiring together had left him completely fed up. He sighed, the frown still on his face. “Well, never mind. I’m not saying that Amamiya’s theory is correct, but the fact is that your recent test results haven’t been too bad. As your attending physician, I’m pleased to see you have this much energy.” “Oh, absolutely,” Sarina said, nodding emphatically. “I’ve been thinking I was feeling pretty good.” Dr. Toudou gave a resigned shrug. “Make sure not to bother the other patients, at least.” “We won’t,” Sarina and Gorou replied in harmony. With one last sigh, Sarina’s doctor turned on his heel and strode out of the room without another word. Once they were sure his footsteps were receding down the hall, Sarina and Gorou exchanged a look. “Ah-ha-ha. We got completely chewed out.” “We sure did.” Gorou’s expression softened. Laughing together like this was kind of nice. It felt like they were siblings acting up and getting yelled at by their parents. Is this what it would be like if I had a big brother? Sarina wondered, looking up at Gorou. “It’s because you were singing so loud, Sensei.” “Well, you kept veering way off-key. I bet that made us stand out for the wrong reasons.” “Huh? Is my singing that bad?” “If it’s a straight choice between good and bad, you were definitely bad. To be honest, you’re tone-deaf,” Gorou said bluntly. “That’s so mean,” Sarina said, puffing out her cheeks. “You shouldn’t talk that way to your fave.” “My fave?” “Remember? You said if I became an idol, you’d be my fan.” “Did I say that?” Gorou seemed perplexed, but Sarina hadn’t forgotten. He’d said it when he’d visited her room the other day. “Once you’re discharged, go be an idol. If you do, I’ll be your fan.” It had probably been a throwaway comment as far as he was concerned, but his words had grabbed Sarina’s heart and held on tight. She’d never seriously thought about becoming an idol before. After all, she’d been in and out of the hospital for as far long as she could remember. She’d assumed she was going to live her whole life in a hospital and that she’d die in one, too. She’d never given a passing thought to what she’d do after being discharged. A girl like her, becoming an idol… The moment she’d fantasized about standing on a stage like Ai, her mind had lit up in all the colors of the rainbow. She knew that dream wouldn’t come true, of course. But Gorou had shown her she was still free to dream about it. Sarina had been genuinely happy about that. Happy enough to make her fall in love. However, either he really didn’t remember, or he was pretending he didn’t. Gorou laughed evasively. “Well, if you’re going to debut as an idol, you’re definitely going to need singing lessons.” Setting the bottle of antiseptic on the table, Gorou took a seat on the bedside stool. By now, that stool was basically reserved for him. “Dance lessons, too, I guess. And more idols are appearing on variety shows these days, so you’ll have to polish up your conversational skills as well.” “True. I should probably also practice my signature.” “Is your signature really going to matter that much?” “Oh, absolutely. What if somebody asks me for it on the street out of nowhere? Agh, there’s so much to do!” Sarina tipped her head back, looking up at the ceiling. Talking about her dream with Gorou like this was a whole lot of fun. It made her feel as if it might actually happen someday. “You’re still young, Sarina. I’m sure you’ll be able to do it.” “Yeah.” She smiled back at him. She was sure she didn’t have nearly enough time left. It would be tactless to point out something like that, though, so instead she kept on joking. “Oh, and also, I’ll need to give some serious thought to our marriage.” “That again?” Gorou said, a wry smile crossing his face. “I said I’d think about it when you turned sixteen.” “That’ll happen before you know it. There’s all sorts of things we’ll need to decide before the wedding, like where to hold the ceremony, where to go for our honeymoon, how many children we want…” “Doesn’t getting your parents to sign off on it come first?” Gorou was right. In a normal family, kids probably did need their parents’ blessing to get married. However, the Tendouji family wasn’t like that. “I don’t think they’ll care. They believe in hands-off parenting,” Sarina told him. “Really?” Gorou cocked his head. “Yeah.” Sarina nodded. “They’re not really the type to worry about their daughter.” “Now you mention it, I never see your parents. It feels like they don’t ever come to visit you.” “They don’t, really. They’re both in Tokyo. They say they’re really busy with work, so they can’t make it down here very often.” Sarina’s grandparents, who lived in Takachiho, were looking after her in her parents’ place. Granted, they were pretty old, so they didn’t have the opportunity to come visit her much, either. Gorou frowned. “Hmm. That must be a little lonely.” “It’s fine. We’ve always been like this. I get a lot of pocket money to make up for it. Thanks to that, I can buy all the B Komachi CDs and merch I want online.” Sarina smiled at him, but Gorou didn’t look very convinced. The distance between her and her parents seemed to concern him. “Well, every family has their own dynamic… Sorry for asking something weird.” Gorou’s eyes went to the window. It was beginning to feel a lot like fall out there, and a lone crow was flying through the clear autumn sky. Caw, caw! echoed its shrill cry. Was it calling out to its children like in the nursery rhyme? “You really are kind, aren’t you, Sensei?” Sarina reached out and softly took Gorou’s hand. “Hmm?” He looked startled for a moment, but he didn’t try to pull free. Instead, he squeezed her hand back gently. The warmth of his skin on her palm brought a smile to her face. I wish this would last forever and ever. In Miyazaki, the average temperature in December was around ten degrees Celsius. From what Sarina saw of the weather forecast, that was quite a bit warmer than it was in other places. However, this winter felt a whole lot colder than usual to her. The heat was on, of course, and her comforter was soft and fluffy, just back from the cleaners. Even so, her hands and feet started trembling if she wasn’t careful. Why was she so cold? Was it what the weatherwoman on TV referred to as the “first serious cold wave in a decade”? Was it because her condition had been going downhill lately? Or was it because the person who’d always been in her room before wasn’t there? “…Sensei didn’t stop by today, either.” Nobody had occupied the stool beside her bed for a while now. For some reason, Gorou’s visits had stopped abruptly. “I wonder what happened. He used to come by every day.” Sarina gazed absently out the window. The sun set a little after five these days, and stars were already twinkling in the faintly crimson sky. As she watched the evening display, Sarina let out a sigh. For no reason in particular, she began connecting the stars with her eyes, making triangles and squares. It would have been more fun if she’d known the constellations, but she didn’t, so she just made random shapes. Even that was a pretty effective way to kill time. Out of nowhere, Sarina remembered something she’d heard on an educational TV program once. From where she lay on her bed, the stars only seemed to be a few centimeters from one another, but they were actually so far apart it made her head spin. And that distance was growing all the time. She wondered whether the same thing happened with human feelings. Even if Gorou was kind, he was just an intern. There was so much he still had to learn. He probably wouldn’t be able to pay attention to Sarina forever. If he couldn’t come visit her some days, there was nothing she could really do about that. As she was mulling that over, there was a knock at the door. “Dinnertime.” It was the same kind, matronly nurse who always came. The woman pushed the cart with Sarina’s dinner on it into the room as if she felt quite at home there. Sarina’s nose caught the scent of fish. Today’s main was apparently grilled mackerel. “Thank you, Nurse.” “Oh?” the woman said, looking perplexed. “Sarina? Were you not in the mood for fish?” “No, it’s not that.” “You don’t seem very cheerful, though.” Had her dejection shown in her expression? The nurse peered into Sarina’s face, as if worried about her. “Really? Nothing’s wrong or anything,” Sarina told her. “Well, I hope not,” the woman said, mystified. She slid the overbed table into place, then set the dinner tray on top of it. Stewed sweet potatoes and a salad of steamed cabbage sat beside the grilled fish. It was a healthy meal—though, being hospital food, that was only natural. “Oh, by the way, about Amamiya-sensei…” Sarina’s eyes widened hearing the nurse suddenly say that name, and she let out a “Huh?” “You remember him, right? He stopped by to see you a lot. The intern.” “Oh yes. What about Sensei?” “Well, it seems nobody’s heard from him for a while now.” “They haven’t?” That sounded ominous. What had happened to Gorou? “What do you mean?” Sarina asked, urging the nurse to go on. “Everyone at the nurses’ station is worried, too, but who knows? Rumor has it he’s gotten himself into some sort of woman trouble.” “What do you mean, ‘woman trouble’?” According to the nurse, two weeks ago, a young woman had called the hospital office and said “Put Gorou Amamiya on the phone” with a really intense voice. As soon as Gorou had taken the call, he’d looked really startled. After hanging up, he’d immediately told the director he’d be taking some time off, then sprinted straight out of the hospital. “I bet it’s a passionate love affair that’s gone south. Maybe she’s a stalker… You wouldn’t think it, but Amamiya-sensei is pretty popular with the ladies.” “He is?” Sarina asked. “Oh yes,” the nurse replied. She seemed to be enjoying herself. “Several of the younger nurses have made passes at him. He never seemed unhappy about it, either.” “Huh… Seriously? I had no idea.” Sarina couldn’t believe her ears. Apparently, Gorou had a side she’d never known about. Well, he was an adult. He probably had history he couldn’t share with Sarina. Logically, she understood that. But honestly, this wasn’t something she wanted to know about. “I bet he messed around with several girls and things got out of control… It’s probably something like that.” “No way…” The Gorou Amamiya, Playboy theory. That was a new one to Sarina, but it did make sense for a number of reasons. After all, he had those looks, and he was a doctor in training with a promising future. That made him a catch, the sort of guy who’d have no shortage of takers. He probably hadn’t had any trouble finding girls to mess around with. Sarina could easily imagine him getting into a situation where he’d be forced to take responsibility. “Then Sensei’s run off somewhere?” “There’s a good chance,” the nurse said. “After all, that woman knew where he worked. As things stand, I doubt he could just relax and continue with his training. It’s possible he fled overseas to wait for all the fuss to die down.” The nurse was wearing the indifferent smile of a celebrity talk show host. The misfortune of others was as sweet as nectar. Sure, it was probably a fun item of gossip for someone like her who had nothing to do with it, but it was pretty hard for Sarina to take. “Overseas…? So Sensei won’t be coming back?” “Well, it’s just a rumor. I couldn’t say for sure.” With that, the nurse backed around toward the door. “All right, make sure you eat everything,” she said, pushing the rattling meal cart out of the room. The woman loved to chat. Was she planning to cheerfully gossip about Gorou in other patients’ rooms, too? Left alone, Sarina sighed. “Sensei, seriously, what are you doing…?” Her eyes went to the grilled mackerel on the table. It had had a nice aroma just a few minutes ago, but now it didn’t smell like anything at all. One day passed, then another. Gorou still hadn’t reappeared. He’d dropped out of touch so abruptly and completely that Sarina was really starting to worry. The things the nurse had said—“love affair gone south,” “stalker,” “fled overseas”—had gone through her mind over and over during the past few days. She was so preoccupied that she couldn’t even focus on Ai’s songs. Sarina sighed and looked up at the sky. Her white breath dissipated into the December air. She couldn’t help wishing the muddled mess of feelings inside her would disappear along with it. She was up on the roof of the hospital, in an observation area that had a small garden. She’d thought getting some fresh air might make her feel a bit better, so she’d come up here in her wheelchair. A cold winter wind blustered under leaden clouds. She’d worn her coat, but it was still cold. It felt as if even her heart might start shivering. “Was that also a lie, when he said he’d be my fan?” Those words had made her feel as if someone had acknowledged her for the first time in her life. She’d been allowed to dream like a normal girl. She’d been so happy that it felt like her heart was dancing. And yet… Now that she thought about it, that was probably just an offhand remark Gorou had made after getting caught up in the moment. He probably said things like that to all the girls. It had been nothing more than lip service meant to win her affection. When she thought about it that way, it made sense. He might even have been trying to improve his evaluation as an intern by getting along with the patients. “Argh, why didn’t I pick up on that?” She sighed again. She didn’t know how many times that made today. If there was an All-Japan Sighing Championship, she would have been a solid contender for the gold medal. “Dummy. Sensei, you dummy…” Where was Gorou now, and what was he doing? Was he having fun with yet another girl wherever he’d run off to? Well, he was a man, after all. Of course he’d prefer to spend his time with a healthy, pretty woman instead of a seriously ill little girl like her. Sarina was half paralyzed, and she couldn’t get around properly without her wheelchair. On top of that, the radiation treatments had left her bald. She had absolutely nothing in the way of womanly charms. She felt a painful twinge in her chest. She thought the sadness and frustration might drive her crazy. The next thing she knew, her cheeks were wet. Those gloomy feelings were seeping out of the corners of her eyes, drop by drop, and she couldn’t stop them. “Huh? Ugh, why…?” How pathetic, she thought. It wasn’t as if any of this was news to her. Sarina had been fighting her illness for as long as she could remember. It had been a life without dreams, hope, or love. She was pretty sure even her parents had given up on her. There would be no happiness in her future, either. She’d known that for a long time now… Yet meeting Gorou and talking with him about Ai, it seemed like somewhere in her heart, she’d started thinking it was possible. That someone might be able to love her the way other people were loved. “Sniff…! That’s so stupid. I’m the real dummy…” By getting her hopes up, she’d set herself up to get hurt for no reason. That pain made her chest constrict as badly as her illness did, or maybe even worse. There hadn’t been anything good about her life in the first place. Having to harbor something like this in her heart until it was over seemed nothing short of torture. Sarina’s eyes went to the edge of the roof. A two-and-a-half-meter fence ran all the way around it. Beyond that, the forests of Takachiho lay quietly under the cold, cloudy sky. She found herself wondering if jumping would make the pain go away. There was no way she’d be able to get her uncooperative body over that fence, though. That thought was hopelessly painful, too. “Why am I even alive…?” The cold wind caressed her scrunched-up face. Her wet cheeks and upper lip might freeze if she didn’t dry them. Sarina reached into the little bag slung over her shoulder, trying to get out her handkerchief, but her trembling hand was causing her trouble. “Ah.” As she pulled out the handkerchief, something else tumbled out of her bag and hit the roof with a light clink. It was an acrylic keychain. It had a caricaturized version of Ai on it with the words Ai’s My Fave Forever!!!—the souvenir she’d won from the gacha machine that time she’d tried to go to a B Komachi show. “What am I even doing…?” She directed her feelings of hopelessness toward herself. There really must be something wrong with her today for her to have dropped her precious Ai keychain. It had fallen just beside the right wheel of her chair. I hope it didn’t get scratched… Sarina twisted in her seat, leaning over and reaching down for it. Her arm wasn’t quite long enough, though. Ai’s picture smiled just a few centimeters below her fingertips. It would be so much easier if I could just stand up and get it, she thought. But there was no point thinking about something like that. If she could easily do that, she wouldn’t be in a place like this to begin with. “Rrrgh, just a little farther…!” Holding her breath, Sarina twisted as far as she could go. She was just three centimeters away from the keychain now. It felt as if her spine was going to cramp up as she reached out, straining with her right hand. Just as the tip of her index finger brushed the acrylic plate, the world seemed to tilt. She’d leaned too far to the right, and the left wheel of her chair had lifted off the ground. Oh, crud, she thought, but it was already too late. The wheelchair was completely off-balance, and her body pitched hard to the right. “Eeeeeeeeeeek…!” Having a limited range of motion in her body meant she couldn’t catch herself properly, either. Her head was going to slam into the roof. Sarina squeezed her eyes shut in anticipation of the pain that was about to hit her. She stiffened, bracing, trying to make it hurt a little less. It was a last resort, wisdom she’d picked up from years of living in a wheelchair. Please don’t let it hurt. She felt completely pathetic, being scared of pain when she’d wanted to die just minutes earlier. But strangely, the impact never came. Just before she was thrown out of the chair, strong hands caught her and held her in place. “…Whoa. That was a close one.” The familiar voice made her eyes fly open. “Sarina, are you okay?” The face right in front of her belonged to the person she’d been missing. The man who had nonchalantly reached over from behind to save her. “…Sensei?” “I was just about to call out to you when you suddenly tipped over. You really startled me.” No, you startled me. But before Sarina could tell him that, Gorou did something even more surprising. With a “Hup!” he put one arm under Sarina’s knees and lifted her out of her chair. A bridal carry. It was the first time a man had ever picked her up like this. “Let’s see… It doesn’t look like you’re hurt. What were you doing up here?” Sarina couldn’t answer. Her head was a jumble of questions and relief, and her heart was beating double time. She felt totally confused. Maybe that was why when she did finally manage to say something, it didn’t make much sense. “Sensei, didn’t you flee the country? What about your stalker?” “Huhn?” Gorou tilted his head, looking mystified. They went back to Sarina’s hospital room together, with Gorou pushing her chair. On the way, Sarina told him about the rumors she’d heard from the nurse. He snorted. “What the heck? A love affair gone south? Do I really look like I mess around with women that much?” “Yeah. Pretty much. You look like you’d two- or three-time, easy,” Sarina told him. “Oh man…” Gorou scratched the back of his head. The fact that he didn’t completely deny it may have meant the rumor wasn’t entirely off the mark. “Well, I’m sorry I worried you. To be honest, even I didn’t think it was going to take this long. The director tore me a new one,” he grumbled, setting Sarina down on the bed. Then he took his regular spot on the stool. The sheer familiarity of the sight was a relief to Sarina. “So what were you actually doing, Sensei?” “I went up to Tokyo for a bit.” “To Tokyo? Why? For work…? No, it can’t have been that.” “Well, you see,” Gorou said, sticking a hand into the front of his lab coat, “I went to get my hands on these.” He took out two slips of paper about the size of his palm. Sarina saw a cute design on the front and the words B Komachi – Solo Concert in Miyazaki. “Huh?! Whaaaa…?! Sensei, are those—?!” “I heard B Komachi was coming to Miyazaki soon, so I went to secure us some tickets. I thought I could take you to the show.” Sarina’s eyes were as wide as they’d go. Her heart was threatening to jump up into her throat. In all her twelve years, she didn’t think she’d ever been this surprised. “Huh?” Gorou cocked his head. “Did you not know the group was coming here?” “No, I knew! Of course I knew! I saw it online!” B Komachi’s popularity had grown to the point where they were doing a national tour. They were scheduled to give shows in ten cities around Japan, and one of those cities was Miyazaki. When Sarina had first heard about it, of course she’d been delighted, but she’d also been sad. She’d been a diehard fan of B Komachi for ages, and now more people would know about them. She was genuinely happy about that. In the end, though, her illness would keep her from attending the show. Ai and the other girls would be so close she could practically reach out and touch them, but she wouldn’t be able to go see them. That frustration had made Sarina’s feelings extremely complicated. And here was Gorou, calmly holding out tickets to the show. The situation was so completely unexpected that she was having trouble processing it. “You got these for me…? Why?” “Well, you know. It’s almost Christmas, so I thought I could get them for you as a present.” “Oh!” Sarina said. She picked up the phone that lay by her pillow. The date on the screen said December 20. It really was close to Christmas. It wasn’t something that came up much living in the hospital, so she’d completely forgotten about it. “A Christmas present…for me…” Sarina didn’t remember ever getting one of those from anybody. Not even her parents. That meant just getting a present made her more than happy enough—and the fact that her present was a ticket to a B Komachi show was sending her over the moon. She had no idea how to put that joy into words. The next thing she knew, big tears were falling from her eyes again. “Hngh, hnnnngh, hnnnnnngh…!” “Huh? Wha—? Sarina?” Gorou looked shocked. “Are you okay?” “I’m…not okay… Sniff! This is your fault, Sensei…!” Gorou grabbed a tissue for her, and Sarina blew her nose. It made an embarrassingly loud noise, but that hardly seemed to matter now. Just having somebody see her cry was embarrassing enough. “I can’t believe you’re giving me such an amazing present…! Hnnngh… It’s completely amazing! It’s so amazing that ‘amazing’ is all I can say!” “Perfect time for your vocabulary to fail you, huh?” As Gorou watched her, his eyes were warm. Then he smiled a little. “Well, if you’re this happy about it, that long trip was worth it.” “Come to think of it, Sensei, you went all the way to Tokyo… Why? Couldn’t you reserve these online?” “I could have bought regular tickets that way, but I figured since this was a special event…” Gorou glanced down at the tickets in his hand. When Sarina took a closer look, she realized they said S Seat – Premium/Ai. She doubted her eyes all over again. “Wh-what?!” “Limited-issue front-row tickets. Apparently, you also get to take part in a bonus event after the show. You’ll get to talk with the member who’s named on the ticket in a private booth.” “Seriously?! I’ll get to talk with Ai?! Are you kidding me?!” Sarina’s eyes lit up. Gorou went on, sounding a little proud of himself. “The limited tickets were distributed through a lottery drawing at the Tokyo venue, and they only issued ten per day. It took a whole lot of work to get those.” By now, B Komachi’s popularity was top class for an indie idol group. According to Gorou, hundreds of fans had lined up to enter the lottery for these limited tickets. And Gorou had joined that line every day until he’d won a drawing. “After that, I had to spin the lottery drum at the Miyazaki venue until I managed to score Ai’s premium tickets. It took far more time than money.” When Sarina heard his story, everything finally made sense: The reason Gorou had disappeared was to get these limited tickets. “That’s amazing! It’s so amazing! Sensei, I can’t believe you managed to get these.” “We got pretty lucky. The limited tickets were kept hush-hush, so there wasn’t much about them online. I don’t think I would’ve gotten them, either, if a fan in Tokyo hadn’t tipped me off.” “A fan in Tokyo…? Wait, was that the super-intense woman who called the hospital?” “That’s her,” Gorou said with a nod. “I met her on a B Komachi fan site, but she’s a nice girl. She called me at work because she wanted to get the information to me as quickly as possible. You know, because cell phone use is restricted in hospitals.” Oh, right, Sarina thought as the pieces fell into place. The woman she’d thought was a stalker from a love affair gone wrong had actually been a kind B Komachi fan. I’m sorry for doubting you, she apologized silently. “In any case, thanks to her, I managed to get these.” Gorou fluttered the tickets. Front-row seats with a premium bonus event—rare tickets that would make any B Komachi fan positively drool. To Sarina, the very paper seemed to radiate a dazzling light. Not only was she going to a B Komachi show, but she’d even get to talk to Ai. It really felt as if her dreams had come true. Sarina swallowed hard. “I-is this really okay, though?” “Is what okay?” “I mean, they’ve almost never given me permission to go out. You worked so hard to get these, but what if I can’t actually go?” “It’s all right,” Gorou said so quickly that he nearly talked over her. “I’ve already gotten permission from both your attending physician and the hospital director. They say you’ll be allowed to go out on the day.” “Wh-what?! For real?!” “For real, for real. They’ve even written out a proper permission slip,” Gorou said calmly. He didn’t seem like he was lying or joking. “I get to go…! I’ll get to meet the real live Ai!” Sarina was so excited that she broke out in full-body goose bumps. Since going up to the roof, she’d felt so incredibly sad and happy and astonished by turns that she felt like she was going crazy. “Aaaaaaaah! This is amaaaaaazing! Aaaaagh! Aaaaaaaaaaaah!” “Whoa, Sarina, settle down. The doctor’s going to chew us out again.” Even when Gorou admonished her, Sarina didn’t feel like dialing it back at all. She kept shouting “Yaaaay! Hooray!” as her feelings dictated. If she’d had free use of her legs, she would have been running all around the hospital. “Still, you’re amazing, Sensei. I asked them so many times before, but they wouldn’t let me go out… How did you con them into this?” “Con them? Don’t put it like that. What will people think?” Gorou grimaced. “I just asked them. I said I wanted to take you to an idol concert.” “Huh? That’s it? That’s all you did, and they said okay?” “Well, maybe it was my gleaming reputation,” Gorou said, looking smug. Yeah, I seriously doubt that, thought Sarina. After all, people had been gossiping that he’d fled overseas to escape woman trouble. His reputation was far from immaculate. She decided not to point that out, though. Right now, she was a million times happier over the fact that she was going to get to meet Ai with Gorou. All her feelings about how rough her illness was and that her parents wouldn’t come to see her had been blown away. Even she thought she was being fickle, she was going to turn around and take back what she’d said earlier: In this moment, Sarina felt from the bottom of her heart that she was luckier and more loved than anybody. “Seriously, I’m happier than if my birthday had come around a hundred times at once. This is all thanks to the fact that you got super into B Komachi, Sensei.” “No, as I’ve told you a million times, I’m not particularly into them myself. I’m maintaining my neutral stance with regard to idols.” “You’re still saying that? You went all the way to Tokyo to get limited-issue tickets. I don’t think anybody but a total B Komachi addict would do that.” “Look, that’s not it. I did that for you, Sarina.” Gorou’s lips were pressed into a dissatisfied line. The way he wasn’t honest about this stuff was incredibly cute. Sarina had originally wanted to get him into idols so that she could use him to help with her own fan activities, but by this point, she didn’t care about that. She just wanted to have fun cheering on Ai alongside him. That in itself was enough to make her the happiest person alive. The date on the tickets was May 23. That was almost half a year away, but the season would be warm and wonderful. She’d get to go see her beloved Ai with her beloved Sensei. It was sure to become a splendid memory. Gorou broke into a smile. “There’s still time until spring. Make sure you’re in good condition by then.” “Oh, I will. I mean, come on—I’m going to meet Ai. Just thinking about it makes me feel all better. They might even discharge me by spring.” “Well, that would be great.” How would Gorou look when he met Ai in real life? Wouldn’t seeing how much of a genuine goddess she was blow that cool, neutral facade of his clean away? Stifling the laughter that was welling up inside her, Sarina turned to face Gorou. “Anyway! Thank you, Sensei! Those tickets made me so incredibly happy! It’s the best Christmas present I’ve ever gotten!” Right. It was the first Christmas present she’d ever received. It would also be the last.