Toyota was a blessing that came to me out of nowhere. He was something I could handle.
Toyota was enough.
The oncoming train came to a stop. Once Toyota stepped on, he turned around.
“Fight on, Sakata.”
“You too.”
“Don’t die.”
“I won’t.”
“Stay alive, no matter what it takes.”
Toyota’s eyes were serious. I didn’t know where he got the strength, but his gaze struck me at my core.
I think I used to have that same sort of fierceness. Back when I had wanted to kill my father, when I had to protect my mother, I probably had the same sort of eyes.
I doubted I’d ever experience that again.
I had nothing, and I was fine with that. I should have been fine.
I had obtained a peace that felt like the beginning of despair.
Spring arrived without issue.
Toyota’s parents never tried to get in touch with me. I was just about his only school friend. Then again, his parents probably knew nothing about him. Not what he saw, not how he felt, not who he spent time with, not what he’d decided—nothing. Perhaps they didn’t even care.
I did get a call from my homeroom teacher. He asked me if I knew where Toyota went, and I played dumb.
“Huh, I wonder what’s up with him. He didn’t seem like the type to run away from home,” he said, all too casually. I wondered what a teacher could possibly know about one student in a group of forty of them.
All I knew is that it was all too little, too late.
I never heard anything about Toyota going back home or about the police getting involved. I could only pray that was proof of his success.
Then came our entrance ceremony at Tokusou University.
In the morning, I was picked up like I always had been, but this time it was from the run-down apartment I was vacating, and Masudzuki-san drove us to the venue. Apparently, it wasn’t uncommon for parents to drive the new students to the ceremony, so we didn’t even stand out that much. I was glad the Nishikawas’ car wasn’t a limousine.
Few students from my high school went to college at all, and I knew of no one who went to Tokusou. Because this guy had hired me to be his friend, I had assumed his circumstances were the same, but then I remembered he’d gone to Shirasaki Kaijo, which was a prestigious high school for rich kids who definitely moved on to all sorts of fancy universities.
Were none of his schoolmates going to the highest-rated university in the region? Was he really that hopeless at making friends even though he lacked for nothing in life?
I should have noticed sooner. I’d been worrying about scams or human trafficking operations when I should have doubted the source all along.
A small woman in a suit called his name and came running. “Kadzuki!”
“Good morning, Minami. You look great in that suit.”
“Morning. You look great too. Did Kasumi-san choose that for you?”
“It was a joint effort by my sister, my mom, and Masudzuki-san.”
“Where is she? Is she coming today?”
“She went home already, but she drove us here. One last ride for old times’ sake.”
“Will you be all right without her?”
After that particularly chummy exchange, the woman who he called Minami stared at me. Her stern eyes were very different from the sweet, unguarded expression she had given Kadzuki a moment ago. She stood between us, facing me, so only I caught it, but I sensed a not insignificant level of hostility from her.
“Sacchan, let me introduce you. This is Fujieda Minami, my classmate from middle and high school.”
She bowed with a smile, and there was no trace of suspicion in her eyes now. She concealed it.
“Minami, this is Sakata Fumihiro. I mentioned him before.”
Despite that, I had no interest in what he had told her about me.
As we stood there, another woman called him and Fujieda by name and joined us. So he did have friends. The new girl was tall, slim, and beautiful, and she introduced herself as Takayama. As the four of us started walking, I pulled on his sleeve and made him walk next to me, a pace behind Fujieda and Takayama.
“This is not what you told me,” I said, leaning toward his ear and speaking as quietly as I could.
“Sure it is.”
“Are you kidding? What the hell? You told me you wanted to go to college together because you didn’t have friends.”
“Do we really need to discuss that at this point?”
“Need what?”
“See, Sacchan, I wanted to go to college with you specifically, so I needed a reason to convince you. If I said I didn’t have any friends, you’d have a hard time turning me down.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re kind,” he replied without hesitation. He didn’t seem to be joking. Even seeing my discomfort, he still smiled in that refined way of his.
We stood as close as we had been at the construction site where we met, closer than usual.
With his face so close to mine, I thought his eyes looked like jewels. Those moonlike eyes were unblemished and striking.
They were eyes with an irritating warmth that only someone with a perfect upbringing could have.
And they scared me.
I gritted my teeth and remained silent. Why were we so different? Why did he feel the need to flaunt it in my face?
Things didn’t have to be this way.
“Just a reminder, but don’t tell anyone.”
“About what?”
“About our arrangement.”
Then Fujieda called his name, and he joined their ranks.
How do I even put this into words?
He’d been stuck on my mind for the entirety of the entrance ceremony. By the end, I could hardly think straight.
Now I stood before the relatively large front door, overwhelmed. “I’m home” wasn’t right, but he’d laugh at me if I sounded like I was just visiting. This was my new home, after all.
He pulled a lone key from his suit pocket, opened the door with it, and then handed it to me.
“Here you go. This one’s yours. Don’t lose it. Ah, home sweet home.”
I stood in silence, watching him enter without hesitation. When I joined him, he showed me my room, halfway down the hallway that led to the living room.
“Your stuff is already inside.”