“Die, Baldy! Take this! And this!”
“I’m about to end you, Yuri! Eat this!”
The day after the event, I had Baldy following my orders for a whole day, as per the deal we’d made before our fight. But we only knew how to communicate through our fists! And so, we were on the Starting Plain, where the monsters wouldn’t disturb us, beating the crap out of each other.
Oops! A shock wave had just knocked over the ten or so players watching us fight. Sorry, guys!
“Bah. You’ve turned into a real battle freak too, Yuri. Well, now what?” Baldy asked while coming at me with a supersonic flying kick. “Are we gonna keep hitting each other till someone collapses of exhaustion? I’d be all for it.”
“Hmm... I wonder... That sounds a little lackluster to me. Don’t suppose you’ve got any other ideas?” I replied while shielding myself with Chimeric Machine Goblin #2 (oh, and the impact caused a quake that knocked the spectators over again).
“Let me think... Okay, Yuri, how about you help me out in that case? Truth is, I’ve found a quest for an item I really want, but only female players can accept it. It wouldn’t be an issue except that pretty much every girl in this game hates me for some reason... How about you take it on and I’ll back you up?”
“They hate you ’cause you look like a thug and hit on every girl you see,” I said while firing 110 arrows from my bow. “Anyway, I’m not a girl either, so... Oh, that’s right. I’m technically female inside the game, aren’t I?” I’d stopped caring about how I looked and had completely forgotten about it.
Baldy laughed aloud while punching the arrows out of the air. “How could you forget a thing like that?! Haven’t I told you you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen?” (Meanwhile, the players watching us all got skewered by the arrows he’d knocked off course.)
“You moron. Haven’t I told you I couldn’t care less?” I said while summoning a Gigantic Dragonplant that towered over the surrounding landscape and scorched the earth around us with powerful death lasers. “Anyhow, what’s this quest about?”
Baldy grinned as he jumped into the air to dodge. “It’s every man’s favorite! A maid café!”
“The hell are you even talking about?!”
I found the look of excitement forming on my brother-in-arms’s face unnerving as I leaped into the air and buried my fist into it, knocking him flying.
✦ ✦ ✦
⬧⬨⬧
Starting Town-Exclusive Quest ☆ Transform yourself into a maid queen!
That was the ridiculous name of the quest I was accepting. This is so stupid.
The idea was that players would work in a maid café on the edge of town. Other players could then visit and pay an extra fee to make their favorite maid do things like spoon-feeding them...which sounded really seedy to me.
To clear the quest, I would have to make a certain size contribution to the café. In other words, I had to bring in enough money. I hope they get exposed for this...
According to Baldy, a lot of girls wanted to try the quest since it was some easy work experience and the maid outfits were really cute. He also warned that it could get nasty if multiple maids did the quest at the same time and got competitive with each other. As much as I loved a good fight, that sort of battle sounded less than appealing.
In any case, this quest was going to be easy for me because the conditions for clearing it contained a loophole a mile wide.
My partner in crime was sitting in front of a mountain of food. “Hey, little maid, if I buy the café’s priciest drink, you’ll sit here and pour it for me, won’t you?” he said while trying to put an arm around my shoulders.
I fended him off with a sharp elbow. “Pour your own drinks, jerk!”
That’s right. Anyone with a rich friend willing to play the role of customer could finish this quest in no time.
As one of the game’s top players, Baldy had built up tons of wealth slaughtering monsters. Requesting me by name then ordering everything on the menu was easy for him. After just half an hour, I was close to finishing the quest.
Though I was getting an easy ride, I still had a major gripe with the whole arrangement. “I don’t see why the quest makes me wear this maid outfit the whole time. This little skirt barely hides my thighs at all, and it’s embarrassing!”
“Bwah ha ha. That’s just how it is! Hold up though, you normally wear that idol dress, don’t you? It’s not like you’re showing any more skin than usual.”
“Nnngh?! D-Don’t say things that’ll make me self-conscious!” I grabbed my skirt and did my best to cover up my exposed thighs. Ugh... This is humiliating... Why does it feel like I lost a bet? I won that battle royale, not him.
I turned my head away and caught sight of us reflected in the window glass—a brawny thug being waited on by a silver-haired maid with the light gone from her eyes. It felt like I was looking at a crime scene.
I heard one customer whisper, “Shouldn’t we report him to somebody...?” Then another replied, “Don’t you know who they are? That’s Demon Lord Yuri! And they say the bald guy’s dating her. They’re probably both getting off on this.”
Where’d they get that crazy idea?! Gah, I just wanna get out of here! I love being the center of attention, but not when I’m making a fool of myself!
“Nnnnnnnnngh... Tell me, my rotten master, what’s this amazing item I’m gonna get when I’m done serving your dumb ass? And how can something limited to girls be something you want so bad?”
Baldy suddenly went from being rowdy to a barely audible mumble. “Oh, about that... Sorry but...” he began. Then he roared, “I never wanted the item! I was kidding about the whole thing! I thought I’d get a good reaction out of you; I never thought you’d say yes! Man, that maid outfit’s cute! You’re the sweetest, Yuri!” Then he started howling with laughter.