“What’s wrong? Wish to say something?” Julius asks, looking at me like I’m a nuisance for furtively checking him out.
“N-Not really! J-Just thought that you eat p-pretty!” I stammer.
He marvels at me before returning to his meal.
Bad me! Bad me! I was staring too much. I hastily turn my attention back to my food, pretending I’ve done nothing wrong.
Before dinner started, Julius and I discussed what our future together will be like. As a couple selected by the Demon Lord, we should start trying to have children as soon as possible.
The Demon Lord chose us to create the greatest offspring possible. But both Julius and I are members of the Analian army’s Four Grand Magi. Analia is currently at war with the neighboring kingdom of Gaea, so we don’t have time to be making babies. Hence why we wrapped up that conversation with the decision to wait until things are settled on the battlefield.
You could save me from falling off a cliff into the ocean with a hundred circling sharks and I wouldn’t be more relieved than I felt then.
Sure, Julius is breathtaking. I’d always looked up to him, and his scenes had me rolling around in bed when I read the manga.
But this guy’s a traitor and he’s gonna call me a disgrace after I die! I’ll never forgive him. I don’t wanna marry him! I’m kicking this engagement to the curb!
…But annulling our engagement is the same as betraying the Demon Lord. He’s the one who picked Julius as my fiancé. Running from our engagement means disobeying his decision. It means going against direct orders from the Demon Lord I love and adore.
I still…love the Demon Lord…even now. How could I not when I was raised to? In the facility, I prayed to the Demon Lord every day, thanked him, and lived believing he loved me.
I know from my memories of another life that the Demon Lord basically brainwashed me—no, he’s brainwashed the citizens of Analia.
The Demon Lord probably doesn’t love me for real. We’ve never even met.
If he actually loved me, he would show himself and pat me on the head, right? “You’ve done well. I have high expectations of you as a Grand Magi.” Why’s it so hard for him to say that or anything to me?
Honestly, it’s questionable if the Demon Lord is real. Only the DemiOracle can speak with him. As the voice of the Demon Lord, the DemiOracle informs the people of his decisions. I’ve lived until today believing those were the words of the Demon Lord.
All the blood and sweat I put into becoming one of the Four Grand Magi was solely to make the Demon Lord love me more and more and more…
“You’re different from what I heard. Word in the castle is that you’re a loud and annoying woman… Are you feeling unwell?” Julius stops eating and asks after me.
Calling me a loud and annoying woman is kinda rude, but I think he’s showing concern in his own way? Julius has a bright future ahead as the traitorous disgrace of the Four Grand Magi, but he might not be such a bad person.
“Have you ever met with the Demon Lord, Julius?” I ask out of the blue.
Julius quietly places his fork and knife on the table. “…I have never met him. Only the DemiOracle is allowed to. Why do you ask such a thing?” Suspicion glints in his turquoise eyes, the same color as the gem hanging from his left ear.
He has every right to be suspicious. It’s strange for anyone in Analia to ask if someone else has met the Demon Lord. We aren’t supposed to ever have such overambitious and preposterous notions. Our education at the facility drills that into our heads. We are raised to live within the system of order the Demon Lord created without questioning anything.
“Just a passing…curiosity,” I settle for and return to my meal.
I can feel Julius studying me with piercing scrutiny.
It doesn’t matter what he thinks. I’ve decided to go see the Demon Lord for myself. I have to, because being this indecisive and gloomy isn’t like me.