Interlude: Julius’s Wish
I wake up and open my eyes. But even with them open, my surroundings are steeped in thick darkness. I can’t see a thing. Where am I?
What was I doing…?
That’s right. Hunters from Analia had shown up for us. I had them cornered and then—
“I protected Elle from Analia’s wicked clutches, and now I’m going to lock away my darling Elle to keep her from ever being harmed again.”
I hear a voice speak directly behind me.
“Who goes there?” I look back at nothing. There’s only inky black.
“I’m you, Julius.”
I hear it behind me again. But I can only see darkness over my shoulder.
I’m you? The voice does sound like mine.
Could I be trapped within Sereniel’s spell…?! No. It can’t be. Not me. Mesmerize only works on the mentally unstable…
What in the world happened? I would never fall victim to such a weak spell.
If I remember correctly, I fought with Sereniel’s group when they showed up and then—
“I’m not just some damsel in distress waiting around for you to save me! Being protected by you and doing whatever you say…makes the same person I was when I foolishly entrusted everything to the Demon Lord. I’m not who I was in Analia. I am not a puppet who rejoices when someone else pulls my strings!”
The world spins when I remember Elle’s argument.
That’s it. That’s what happened. Elle’s words struck such a blow to me that…Sereniel’s spell succeeded.
“Take my hand, Julius. Your wish will come true if you do.”
The third time I hear that same cold voice, something mimicking my appearance emerges from the dark before me. A dauntless smile curls its lips as it holds out its right hand.
“My wish?”
“That’s right. You want to make Elle all yours, no? Don’t you want to dress her up all pretty and have her waiting safely back home like an obedient doll ready to obey your every word? You just have to lock her away from the rest of the world and make her incapable of living without you. That is your wish.”
I’m astonished by the horrific desires spoken of by the thing with my shape.
“I’ve never…wished for…that. Wanting such a thing will make me the same as the…Demon Lord.” My voice trembles.
“I am not a puppet who rejoices when someone else pulls my strings!”
Elle’s woeful visage flashes before my mind’s eye.
The Demon Lord was trying to make Elle—or rather, all of Analia—a living pawn incapable of surviving without it. Elle was deeply hurt by the Demon Lord’s arrogant greed. I never want to hurt Elle again. I don’t want to become like the Demon Lord.
…But a piece of me is helplessly tempted by the illusion’s offer.
My wish is…
The other Julius sneers at me for being seduced.
“She got in the way despite how weak she is and ended up mutilating her arm. But doesn’t that work out just fine for us? All you have to do now is burn up her other arm and both legs. Doing so will render her incapable of living without you. That is your wish. Isn’t it?”
“I don’t wish for…that.”
“No, I know you do. I’m you. I understand how you work. Leave all the hard stuff to me if you don’t want to acknowledge it. Your every desire will come true while you sleep. When you wake up, Elle will be yours.”
That’s not what I want…or is it? Can I be sure?
Why does it have such an alluring ring?
What’s wrong with me? My mind is hazy. I’m so terribly sleepy. My wish will be granted if I give in to this sleepiness?
When I close my eyes, I see my time back in Analia.
Analia is a complacent country, much like lukewarm water.
If you listen to what the Demon Lord says, you can spend your time in peace. All you have to do is live by what the Demon Lord says and never think for yourself.
I could do the most inhuman things without thinking twice as long as it was under the pretext of serving the Demon Lord. It was ridiculously easy living without a mind of my own. Like a drone. So easy, I lost sight of myself.
I began to question the Demon Lord when I became the first-ranked Grand Magi and took command of the war.
For some reason, the Demon Lord gave the order to withdraw when we were one step away from defeating Gaea. It was then that I wondered about the Demon Lord’s motives and began to question its existence. Doubts I was never supposed to have.
I snuck into the inner sanctum to disprove the misgivings clouding my decisions. I believed that the awe-inspiring figure I had sworn allegiance to would be there and that he would surely wash away all the trivial doubts I was starting to have.
But the Demon Lord I envisioned was not there. The Demon Lord was just a magic circle.
All the people throughout Analia had lived for nothing more than a magic circle.
I was stunned by the unexpected truth but quickly returned to my usual self.
Even without a Demon Lord, the magic circle would continue to tell me what to do as the Demon Lord I worshiped. So life would go on without change.
That’s what I told myself. I stopped thinking and put a lid on the truth without facing the fact that I had been betrayed by the thing I had believed in my whole life.
I was lazy and a coward.
And then I met Elle.
She brought up the Demon Lord briefly during our first meeting. Her tormented expression instantly told me that she harbored doubts about the Demon Lord.
She might sneak into the inner sanctum like I did. How will she react once she learns the truth about the Demon Lord? Will she refuse to think about it like I did? Those thoughts plagued me.
Elle wept when she learned the truth. She experienced sadness, anger, and loss, and she cried over the knowledge that the Demon Lord she believed in didn’t exist. When I saw her tears, I realized for the first time that I was anguished, too. I was afraid to face the truth; I refused to be sad. Weeping, grieving, and being at a loss were for weaklings, and so I rejected my emotions.
But I was wrong. Elle was the strong one for accepting those sorrowful emotions, crying, and moving on. I just ran away.
That’s right. Elle is strong. Far stronger than I will ever be. She has the strength to face herself and to care for others.
I was attracted to her because of that.
So is it really my desire to take away her freedom, clip her wings, and lock her up just so I’ll have peace of mind that she’s safe?
Is the illusion right, and I actually wish to put her in a situation where I’m the only crutch she can lean on?
It’s not.
It never was.
I have never wished for such a sick thing.
I wrench open my eyes in opposition to the drowsiness stealing my consciousness.
“I love the girl who loves freedom,” I announce to the darkness reflecting my image. “I desire nothing more than to protect her innocent smile. I love her precious spirit that honestly shares what she feels without a filter. I’ve always wanted to become someone near and dear to her… So I don’t wish for what you offer!” I answer, confirming my own feelings along the way.
My illusion painfully falls to its knees and slowly fades. And then the darkness distorts. I can see the light. The exit from Sereniel’s spell.
I have to wake up. And make my way to Elle.
✦ ✦ ✦
“MASTER Julius?! Did you come to?!”
When I open my heavy eyelids, Laurent is right in front of me. Seeing the look on his stark-white face fills me with dread. I jerk upright and grab him by the shoulder.
“Elle?! Where’s Elle?!”
“I’m sorry! I couldn’t protect her! Those thugs from Analia made off with her…!”
I comb my gaze over the surrounding area and find neither Elle nor the Three Grand Magi who attacked us.
Bloody hell!
“I am so sorry. It is all our fault, Lord Julius. Lady Elle held a knife to her own heart and went with them on the condition that they don’t harm this village… She took her heart hostage to save us because we are too weak to save ourselves…” Jasper falls to his knees crying.
She did that because their target is her heart…
“…Laurent, did they return by the same teleportation circle they used to get here?”
“Yes. They left through the same exact one…,” Laurent replies, remorsefully gnawing on his bottom lip.
I place a hand on his other shoulder.
“Then we can still make it,” I tell him and stand.