Things had never felt this unbearable for Austin. He spoke faster than usual, trying to smother the emotion creeping into his voice.
“I don’t know what you’re going through, but you should at least share some of that burden with someone you trust.”
“What...?” The unexpected words made Riley’s eyes widen, his head snapping up to look at his friend.
Austin pushed on, resolve shining in his eyes. “I didn’t come up with that myself. It’s what my father told me when I passed the test to join the order.”
“He said that?”
Austin nodded. “We’re surrounded by talented people who still remember what things were like under the previous king. That’s why everything they do seems amazing, and why we feel so small. Take me, for example. I thought I was somebody before I joined the order, and then I realized I’m still just a kid.”
He had been skilled with a sword among his peers, but within the order, he wasn’t even allowed to take part in practice matches. Whenever discouragement hit him, he recalled his father’s words and pulled himself back together.
“We have a lot of growing up to do,” Austin continued. “The people around us have far more experience than we do; we can’t expect to keep up with them right away. You have me—and you’ve been getting along with House Clarke’s son lately. You’re not lacking for options, so find someone you trust and share your problems with them. A burden shared is a burden halved, as they say.”
Riley was taken aback. He and Austin had been together since birth, and he had always assumed they stood on equal footing. But somewhere along the way, his best friend had pulled ahead.
The realization gave him a sharp twinge of envy. Until now, he had lived by his grandfather’s teachings. The former king’s insistence that a ruler must never rely on anyone had shaped Riley’s entire worldview, leaving even his bond with his own father shallow at best. For a fleeting moment, he wondered whether life would have been different if Duke Ealdred had been his father—though he knew the thought was pointless.
Austin shifted under Riley’s gaze, seeming faintly embarrassed. A subtle flush colored his cheeks.
“Yeah...you’re right,” Riley managed at last.
Would telling Austin the truth about his grandfather ease the weight on his shoulders? He considered it—then abandoned the idea entirely. Lightening his own burden shouldn’t mean forcing it onto someone else.
A crown prince’s troubles were never ordinary. Sharing them wasn’t the same as confiding in a friend; one careless word could force him to silence the listener for good. No matter how shocking Horatio’s revelation had been, it was only the beginning. He would face heavier secrets in the years ahead, and he would have to bear them alone.
“Here’s a suggestion,” Austin said, changing his tone as he leaned forward. “Why don’t you rally the people in our generation you can trust?”
“As in...form a faction?”
“It doesn’t need to be that formal. Think of it more like the soirees kids hold before they enter high society.”
Riley couldn’t host soirees yet, but daytime gatherings were an option. Austin was essentially suggesting he create a space for light, relaxed exchanges of ideas. Riley did already have a small study circle, but it consisted entirely of boys from the highest ranks of nobility.
“Try bringing in girls and lower-ranking nobles too—and as many talented kids as you can,” Austin went on. “What do you think? You never know who you’ll get along with until you talk to them.”
A smile tugged at Riley’s lips. “You come up with some crazy ideas.”
“You would’ve proposed it yourself if not for whatever’s on your mind,” Austin said, raising an eyebrow in mock reproach. “You’re not as sharp as usual today.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Riley admitted. He hadn’t known mental strain could cloud his thinking so much. “I should arrange to meet some boys from the lower ranks.”
“I can introduce you to some,” Austin added confidently. His connections in the knights’ order made it easy for him to meet lower-ranking nobles.
A genuine smile spread across Riley’s face. “Then I’m counting on you.”
“You won’t be disappointed,” Austin said, full of conviction. He glanced at the clock—and jolted upright. “Damn, I’ve gotta run. I sneaked out on my break.”
“All right. I’m glad we got to talk. It’s been a rare thing lately.”
“Same here,” Austin replied with a bright grin before hurrying out of the office.
The moment Riley’s chamberlain closed the door behind him, the prince slumped back into the couch with a weary sigh. With the room quiet again, the air seemed to grow heavier by the second. He covered his eyes and groaned. Talking with Austin had made the future feel bright for a moment—but the instant his friend was gone, the unease crept right back in.
“What am I supposed to do from now on...?”
Austin’s suggestion to build a network of trustworthy people made sense, but could he truly keep himself from doubting them? He had wanted to become a worthy king like his grandfather—yet now that he knew the truth, even the man revered as the Demon God hadn’t been especially wise. So what kind of king was Riley meant to be?
Moving lethargically, he rose from the couch and returned to his room, where he remained for the rest of the day. Even that evening, when his chamberlain offered to bring dinner, Riley dismissed him and stayed shut inside.
No good ideas came to him as the hours crawled by, and he didn’t sleep at all that night.