Chapter 17

“All right! This is perfect!” It was morning, and once again, Kaito had baked a whole apple pie. This way, he would be able to fill any unexpected orders, and if he didn’t sell everything he had, well, he and Lilia and her family could share the leftovers. Just then, Kaito heard a clatter from outside. “Hmm?” He left the store and looked around but didn’t see anyone. “Hans, is that you again?” Kaito walked to the garden. Hans’s work as a woodcutter gave him a lot of flexibility, and he spent much of his free time stalking the High-Calorie Hero. It’s nice to know he respects me, but it’s a little creepy. Kaito would have to really give the elf a piece of his mind this time. He looked all over the expansive garden, but he didn’t see anyone who looked like Hans. “Huh? Could it have been my imagination…?” Hans had a stoutness of stature quite uncharacteristic of an elf. It didn’t make it easy for him to hide. If he’d been in the garden, Kaito would have found him. Even if Hans had tried concealing himself in the shadows, his belly would have stuck out and given him away. Kaito went back to the shop. “Wait a second… I know I left it right here…” He stared blankly at the table. The apple pie he had just made was gone. He’d put it on the counter only moments before. Who might have come into the restaurant in the meantime? The only person he could think of was Lilia. “I wonder if she knows anything about this… Oh, wait, that’s right. Lilia isn’t here today.” It was the day for her sewing class, so she wouldn’t be able to help out at the shop until she got back. Kaito hadn’t opened for business yet, so no one should have come in. And yet, like magic, the pie had disappeared. “That couldn’t have happened…” How could there be a thief in such a peaceful village? Who was the criminal? What could they possibly want? Maybe they have something against me personally. Maybe they hate the High-Calorie Hero. Maybe they don’t want me here. But who in this village feels that way…? It was a mystery! Kaito felt his excitement mounting. Suddenly, a knock came at the door. “Yes, come in.” Someone slipped into the store—it was Edmond. He was looking around anxiously. “What’s going on?” The normally calm and collected headman seemed unusually edgy. “Oh, uh, nothing, I just—” Could he be the culprit? Maybe he’s come to confess his crime. But why would Edmond steal an apple pie? “Edmond, I think you should just say exactly what’s on your mind.” This nearly caused the elf to jump. Then he surveyed the room for a moment. It was obvious he was hiding something. “D-do you really?! But…but…” He looked like he was suffering. “This is—” —really a lot of drama over one apple pie was what Kaito was about to say. Before he could get the words out, though, the door of the shop flew open, and Fiona burst in. “Pardon the interruption! You!” Her voice cracked like a whip. Edmond really did jump this time. “It’s no use trying to run away! Now come here!” “Ah, but, dear, you see, I was just… I was just talking to our son-in-law, Kaito, here and…” “It’s no use trying to talk your way out of this, either! The game is up! I know you were flirting with some cute young thing at the bar last night!” “There’s… Clearly, there’s been some mistake. I certainly haven’t been to the bar…” “I have a witness. Come in here!” At Fiona’s command, Hans shuffled into the room. “H-Hans!” Kaito and Edmond both exclaimed in unison. “Now, Hans, tell them what you told me.” Tremblingly, the woodcutter opened his mouth. “Y-yes, madam. Last night, the headman took Miss Mona, one of the girls who works at the bar, by the hand and made her sit with him. Then he ordered beer and salad and thin-sliced ham! I’m sure you could’ve put honey on that!” “Forget about the food!” “Y-yes, madam!” Fiona sounded much sterner than usual, and it gave Hans a start. The effect wasn’t lost on Kaito and Edmond, either. I feel like she’s even angry with me for some reason… Beside him, Edmond was as pale as if he had just been handed a death sentence. “Then, he took Mona by the shoulders and tried to kiss her, but all he got was a slap.” Edmond gave a start and touched his cheek. There was no mark there, but it was as good as if he’d confessed. Fiona’s green eyes were absolutely on fire, as if anyone in her line of sight would be burned to a crisp. Geez! If looks could kill… Even Kaito was frozen in place by her glare. “Dear…I want to talk to you. Let’s go back to the house.” “Yes, dear…” Edmond hung his head and followed Fiona like a criminal being led away by the police. “Well done, Hans, thank you. Lord Kaito, you let him eat as much as he likes. Put it on Edmond’s tab,” instructed Fiona, and with that, the two of them were gone. Kaito’s shoulders finally relaxed. Yeesh, talk about tension! Somehow, though, Kaito could hardly picture the serious Edmond trying to flirt. Then again, there was that advice the headman had given him that time Lilia’s friends had come over. Something about laying a hand on your wife’s friends being a one-way ticket to trouble. So…maybe he was speaking from experience…? The idea made it a little easier to understand why Fiona was so upset. “Phew! I was scared out of my wits!” Hans exhaled. “Hans…don’t you think that was a little harsh? Testifying against him like that?” Kaito wasn’t exactly trying to defend Edmond, but had there really been a need to squeal? Hans hung his head. “I’m sorry… Miss Fiona told me I could have all the pizza I wanted, and I…I—” “I know—there’s nothing in the world that could outdo your appetite, huh?!” Kaito felt surprisingly sympathetic. Women knew how to manipulate people, and Fiona had found Hans’s weak point. Anyway, Edmond had reaped what he’d sown; it was his own fault. “So what do you want to eat?” Hans’s eyes sparkled. “First, I want to have some of your famous apple pie!” “Uh…about that. I could have given you some right now, except…” He’d made that pie first thing in the morning for a situation exactly like this. What terrible timing. “What’s wrong?” “It seems to have been stolen.” “Whaaat?! This is a disaster!” Hans began shaking. “No, it’s really not… You don’t happen to know anything about it, do you?” “I’ve been watching the entrance to the store all morning, but only you and Mr. Edmond ever went in.” This gave Kaito pause. “Wait… All morning? Why?” “Oh, you know. I was just so hungry when I woke up. I’ve been waiting for the shop to open for an hour. Then Miss Fiona shouted for me…” “…This stalker act is starting to creep me out…” So maybe it really had been Hans who’d caused the noise outside. Then he’d gone into the mansion when Fiona called him, explaining why Kaito hadn’t seen him anywhere. “What’s a stalker? Is it a new menu item?!” “Uh, no…” Still, Hans had given him some valuable information. Kaito now knew no one had come in the shop in the last hour, ever since he’d baked the apple pie. That meant the thief had to have sneaked in through a back entrance. Kaito turned around. He quickly opened the back door, letting out a sharp breath when he looked at the ground. There were pie crumbs all over! “So they did come in through the back. I’m sorry, Hans. I’m going after the thief. Can you wait for a while?” “Yes, sir!” Close inspection revealed a trail of pie crumbs on the ground. Kaito followed it assiduously, exiting out the back door and going through the garden and then out onto the village street. He felt like Hansel. Or was that Gretel? “So, what? The thief ate the pie as he went?” This didn’t make much sense to Kaito. Why steal a pie and then try to eat it as you fled? Wouldn’t it make more sense to go home first and then eat it? Why leave the proof just lying around? Kaito pondered all this as he followed the trail of crumbs. It took him all the way around the village, until he found himself at the front gate of the headman’s mansion. “What the heck?! Why did they come back where they started?” He just couldn’t understand this criminal. The trail led back into the garden, down a small path, and finally up to the servants’ entrance of the mansion. Pie crumbs were still clearly visible. Kaito pushed the door open gently and entered the house. He found himself in a very large kitchen, but there didn’t seem to be anyone there. Kaito went out into the corridor. He could hear husband and wife arguing noisily in a room somewhere down the hall. I guess Edmond’s not having a great day, either… Now Kaito was at the foot of the staircase. Apparently, the thief had gone up to the second floor. “It can’t be…” He followed the crumbs up the steps. “But it is…” The trail led right to the door of Lilia’s room. “I’m coming in,” he said, and he opened the door. There was Lilia, just about to put the last bite of pie into her mouth. He had caught her completely and totally red-handed but found he just didn’t feel like getting angry. “L-Lorb Gaitob!!” She was trying to say L-Lord Kaito! but stuffed full of pie as she was, it was proving difficult. Crumbs sprayed from her mouth and scattered on the floor. Her pointy ears were quivering. “I thought you were at sewing class?!” “I-I’m very sorry! I stopped by the shop to say good-bye to you, and there was that fresh apple pie sitting right there, and it looked so delicious… And then, all of a sudden, I was walking away with it, and I kept wondering whether I should bring it back, and I kept nibbling on it as I kept wondering and walking around, and then I was back at home, and—and—there was just one bite left, so I thought I might as well finish it…” “……” I always forget you’re the queen of snacking… “I’m really, really sorry…” “Yeah… It’s…it’s okay.” And so the mystery of the vanishing apple pie turned out not to be much of a mystery at all. Kaito was a little embarrassed at himself for having imagined he was playing detective.