Chapter 15

Kaito took the money he’d gotten and immediately commissioned his new store. His dream of having a place to live and a pizza parlor all in one would finally come true. It’s gonna be a while before the place is ready. Still, with a big new shop, I’d like to have a bigger menu, too. “I think I’d like to try out something new today!” “Ooh, what is it? What is it?” Lilia’s eyes sparkled. She was usually relaxed, but when the subject of food came up, she could suddenly be very energetic indeed. “A dessert that goes well with pizza!” Kaito had been thinking about it ever since Belinda had asked him for one. This morning, when he’d looked in his item bag, he’d found a new skill card. The name of a certain dessert had been written on it. “A dessert… You mean like gelatin or pudding?” Lilia was perplexed. “The High-Calorie Hero would never deign to make such low-calorie treats! He makes only the highest of high-calorie fare!!” “Oh… Like… Like what?” “Apple pie!” Yes, the words that had been written on that skill card were Apple Pie. It seemed the item bag would continue to replenish itself. Now that he was making lots of pizza and his level had gone up, he had been rewarded with more recipes. I wish that goddess would have told me about that. Figures I’d get stuck with the lazy deity… “So it’s a dessert involving apples…?” Lilia asked. “Exactly! I have the butter and the hard and soft flours to make the dough, but I’m missing the most important part—the apples!” He had expected this day would come. At first, he had been given all the ingredients he needed, but now he would need to find some of them for himself. Guess that just means I managed to get past that very first stage. “Let’s start by making the dough. It has to sit, so there’s no harm in doing it now.” Kaito mixed the two kinds of flour he’d been given in a bowl and then added the butter. “Lilia, add a little water, please.” “Sure!” Kaito continued mixing the batter with a spatula as Lilia poured in water bit by bit. He was surprised to find how much strength he needed. “I guess making sweets is no walk in the park…” Kaito had only ever eaten premade apple pies, so he’d had no idea how much time and labor went into making one. Once the dough had come together, he worked it into shape. Then he chilled it, and the piecrust, at least, was just about ready. “Are there any apple orchards nearby?” “There are! You remember my friend Elizabeth? Her house has an apple orchard.” “Perfect! How about we go for a wal— Eek!” Startled, he realized the door had gently been pushed open, and Hans was staring at them through the crack. The light was reflecting off his blue eyes. “Geez, Hans! Are you trying to do an impression of Jack Nicholson in The Shining?! You scared the crap out of me!” “Apple pie… That does sound very delicious.” Hans spoke in a low voice. “You were listening to us?! Wait a second—why are you here anyway? Or are you just a stalker?!” “I heard you had commissioned a new store, Honored Hero, and came to celebrate.” “I think you normally save the celebration for after it’s actually built.” “Congratulations!” Hans held out a flower he appeared to have picked somewhere nearby. “Uh, thanks…” Kaito took the flower as graciously as he could. “I’d sure like to try some of that apple pie myself.” “I guess you can, but we’re only just going to pick the apples. It’ll be a while.” Kaito hoped that perhaps this implied that Hans could come back another time, but the woodcutter proved unable to take the hint. “Oh! I’ll help you!” “Wha—?” “You have to be pretty strong to pick apples. A fully loaded basket can weigh up to five kilograms.” “Is that so…?” Now that he thought about it, Kaito realized he’d never been apple picking before. Maybe having someone with some experience along would be a good thing. It conveniently slipped Kaito’s mind how much trouble Hans had gotten him in last time he’d shown up, and he found himself agreeing. “Okay, then. Why don’t you come along and help?” “Gladly!” Hans’s eyes were shining with happiness. The three of them set off for the fruit orchard at the home of Lilia’s friend Elizabeth. Naturally, they offered to pay for the fruit, and their price was eagerly accepted. Kaito, Lilia, and Hans walked into the fields. “Whoa…” It was apple trees as far as the eye could see. “This is incredible!” “We do happen to be right in the middle of apple season,” Lilia responded with a smile. “So which ones are good?” “If the bottom of the apple is either green or yellow, then it’s good to eat.” Lilia displayed a surprisingly robust knowledge of agriculture. “Thanks for the tip! Well, let’s get picking!” Kaito reached out for an apple, then suddenly stopped. “Uh, how exactly do you pick them?” “Kind of…here. Grab it from the bottom, like this.” “Uh-huh, uh-huh.” “You twist it and pull up at the same time, and it pops right off.” “Let me try!” Kaito awkwardly grabbed an apple. “Let’s see…” He successfully separated the apple from the branch. “All right! A good start.” The three harvesters split up and began gathering apples. Just as Hans had warned him, Kaito found the unfamiliar work draining. It’s tougher than I thought working with your hands over your head like this. Thank goodness there’s three of us. His relief lasted for only a moment, though. “Phew! How about we take a break?” Hans said as he took a jar of honey out of his bag. “Oops!” As Hans tried to open the lid, his hand slipped, and it looked like he was going to drop the jar. “Eeyi-yi-yi!” The rotund elf lost his balance—right next to their bushel of apples, as it happened. “Han—” But before Kaito could so much as call his name, Hans took a huge fall into the basket. Squiiiiiishhh! “Haaaaaaaaaans!!” There was a heartbreaking sound as their hard-won apples were destroyed, along with the basket. “What the heeeeeeeeck?!” Kaito, who realized he had been too cavalier about Hans’s clumsiness, was aghast. “I mean, seriously! Aren’t apples supposed to be tough? How do you squish an apple just by falling on it? What have you got in that stomach, a cannonball?!” “I’m so very, very sorry!” Hans was shaking and covered in apple juice. Tears poured from his blue eyes. “How—how can I ever—? Oh! Only death can atone for—” “Stop! You don’t have to die because of some stupid apples!” Geez, this kid really looks like he’s ready to do himself in! What do I do? Wait, I’ve got it! “Hans, I’m going to give you an important job to do.” The woodcutter looked up, somewhat mollified by this. “I bet birds and animals are going to be very interested in our harvest. You have to guard it.” “Huh…?” “This is a very important job, one I can only entrust to you. You want that apple pie, don’t you?” “I…I do!” “Then get guarding!” “Yes, sir!” Hans straightened up and began scanning the area intently. Phew. That ought to keep him busy for a little while. “Okay! Back to picking!” “I got us a new basket!” “Nice work, Lilia! Let’s see what the two of us can harvest!” Kaito was starting to get the hang of apple picking, and it was going much more smoothly than earlier. “Okay, I think this’ll about do it. Twenty apples should be enough for today and tomor—” He stopped in midsentence, his eyes bulging out of his head. The basket was empty. “Whaaaaaa—? What’s going on?” He didn’t quite grasp the situation. “I’m sure I picked at least ten… Didn’t I…?” Then a familiar and deeply disturbing sound reached him. Munch, munch, munch, munch. Kaito looked at Lilia, whose back was to him. “No way… Lilia?” “Huh?” She jumped and turned around. There was an apple in her hand—and half of it was missing. “What are you doing?!” “I-I’m sorry!” Munch, munch. “Stop it! Stop that! Lilia, leave it!” “I’m sorry! I just got so hungry!” “Ahhh, you could definitely starve doing this work!” Hans said as he downed an entire jar of honey as if it were a bottle of water with a glug, glug, glug, glug. “……” Kaito had clearly made some poor personnel decisions. A mega-klutz and a girl with a monster appetite—and these were the two people he chose to go apple picking with him? When will I ever learn…? He clenched his fist with the shame of it.