“If only I could use my skill... Would things be any different then?” That lamentation fell from my lips, even after I had told myself over and over that I would keep it in.
In this world, some people were born with special abilities known as skills. There were several types of them. For example, some skills were related to swordsmanship or commerce. The majority of them were helpful to their holder in some way, and those who possessed them were commonly praised as having been blessed by the heavens. While I had also been born with a skill, no one—least of all myself—had been able to understand what it was, and so I hadn’t been able to make use of it. And before I knew it, my family had scorned me, deciding that I was useless even though I had been born with a skill.
My mother had passed away, and now my father had a new wife and Elysia. There was no longer any doubt about what that meant for me. I had always been good at magic, so I’d decided to put everything I had into that in lieu of my useless skill. But now, I was wondering whether that had all been a waste of time. I was only just realizing that the splendid dresses, the gorgeous accessories, the fine furniture, and the skilled servants had all been given to Elysia instead of to me. And that was before considering familial affection.
When I had entered into my engagement with Theodore, I had been given dresses and jewelry, probably for appearances’ sake. However, the worn, musty furniture in my room had never been replaced, and I’d never been given an attendant or anything of the sort. Forgive me for being boastful, but I had to wonder whether it was because of the qualities I did have—qualities that were hard to discern from just looking at me. I was perfectly capable of taking care of everyday things, so maybe they thought I was too organized to require help. I had never suffered one bit for not having a servant or a lady’s maid!
But even then, it had seemed that my grandfather was concerned for me. He’d lived in the capital since before my debut into society, and there, he had taught me all sorts of things relating to my duties. When Theodore had left his position behind, I had become involved with the responsibilities that came with the title and territory of a duchess. My father had been too busy gallivanting about with my stepmother and sister, leaving their duties neglected. The duchy and the capital weren’t that far apart, but the rest of my family never set foot in the latter outside of the social season.
I couldn’t completely hold back a groan as I buried my face in the pillow. “Is it really that impressive to be able to use one’s skill?”
After that...I can’t really remember what happened next. Perhaps I fell asleep.
“It’s not hopeless! He cheated on you! He’s scum!”
A woman’s indignant cries roused me from my stupor. I lifted my head from my pillow to a vision of a world of pure white and a dark-haired woman stomping her feet. For whatever reason, I seemed to take it in stride. Maybe there was some corner of my mind that knew I was dreaming.
“‘True love’... ‘True love’?! He’s gotta be kidding! What a dumbass! That’s not true love! That’s called cheating, you scumbag! Fran was perfect for you! How could you not see that, huh?! That sl*tty sister of hers has got you wrapped ’round her little finger, and you fell for it all—hook, line, and sinker!”
The woman produced a large cushion out of thin air and started throwing punches at it. Perhaps they were too ferocious to be called punches—she was pummeling it.
Fran...? I thought. Might she be talking about...me?
Though I didn’t recognize her, I did seem to recognize this woman’s words from somewhere. They sent a warmth spreading through my chest.
Yes... I’ve really worked hard over the years.
I’d always wanted to be a young woman worthy of my family—a duchess whose place beside Theodore no one could question. I’d never wanted the prince, my family, or my father to face criticism because of me and my useless skill. To that end, I had put everything into fostering my knowledge, training in magic, and memorizing the minutiae of manners. Moreover, my father had been so preoccupied with his new wife and Elysia over the past few years that I had ended up as a representative of sorts, conducting his duties in his place. All of that, too, had transpired to be a total waste of time and effort.
“Oh my god, Fran, have you forgotten who you are?! Why the hell are you giving up?! Your man cheated on you! You’re allowed to go nuts, y’know! You’re supposed to!”
The woman was now holding the cushion to her chest, burying her face in it, and rolling around on the floor. Then, she started pulling at her long hair and making a real mess of it as she denounced Theodore, saying he was a “scumbag.” She followed up by calling Elysia a “sl*t.” For whatever reason, I didn’t feel any secondhand embarrassment from what I was witnessing. Possibly because no one would lose their temper on my behalf anymore, with the exception of my grandfather.
Besides, I had never exactly been thrilled with my engagement to Theodore. The only reason it had come about in the first place was because there hadn’t been any other young women available who were of the correct age or standing.
“Urgh! Seriously! If only Fran would remember me, or... No, if only she could remember Japanese! Her skill’s not in some mystical language! It’s literally just Japanese!” the woman wailed.
Suddenly, it was like something clicked inside my head. The woman turned in my direction and slowly walked toward me.
My name is Francheska Vaielindt, daughter of the House of Vaielindt.
“I’m a waste of space,” the woman said. “A corporate drone in my early thirties. I don’t have a name anymore because I’m dead. My posthumous name is ‘Kodoin Teiren Shinyo’... Something like that, anyway.”
I used to be you? A long time ago?
It seemed like she could hear my thoughts. “It’s more like I’m you from a previous life. I’m still here because... Well, just think of me as a computer bug. I think that’s why your skill ended up being in Japanese. Sorry about all the headaches that’s been causing you.”
The woman looked downcast, but I quickly shook my head. As far as I could tell, she had been inside me this whole time, watching over me.
“I wasn’t alone! You’ve been with me all these years!” I could feel my fractured heart being restored as soon as those words had left my mouth.
We were facing each other now, and it was difficult to say who moved first as we brought our palms up to meet each other’s. I might have been a little taller than her, but her hand was just a little bigger than mine. From the point where we touched each other, we began to overlap. We were gradually blending into one another.
✦ ✦ ✦
“My failure to die completely put you through so much suffering, but I’m not gonna let that happen anymore. I’m gonna help you. So don’t cry anymore, Fran. Don’t cry, me...”
I could feel myself being enveloped by something soft and warm. It was the warmth of another human being, something I hadn’t experienced in a long time. My grandfather kept me close to his heart, but he had stopped embracing me like this when I’d started growing up in earnest.
Soft and warm...
Still in my dream, I closed my eyes once more.