“Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.”
I have no idea who said that, but I think it’s true. We were sixteen-year-old high school girls, flowers in full bloom. But time is limited, and flowers can’t stay in bloom forever. No matter how we choose to spend this time, it’ll all be over in a few years.
Like how I was sitting here now, watching a TV drama I wasn’t even interested in just so I could talk about it with my friends later. Why was I wasting such valuable time doing things I didn’t even care about? What did I care about? The kids who devote all their time to after-school clubs seem to have it rough, but at least it looked like their days were fulfilling. Even if they were just benchwarmers, one day they’ll look back on these days and feel nostalgic for all the setbacks and frustrations that made them into the people they had become.
That’s what I think, anyway. But how would I feel in the future, looking back on me today? Of course there were other people besides me who seemed to be wasting time, like the ones playing card games in the corner of the classroom during breaks, or getting so absorbed in reading their books they couldn’t hear anything going on around them. But they spent that time doing the things they enjoyed, unlike me.
How could I be more like them?
◊◊◊
There are three types of people you see when you walk into the classroom first thing in the morning. First are the groups of four or more chatting loudly with each other. Next are the ones in groups of two or three talking quietly in hushed voices. And then there are the ones who are already off in their own little world, completely oblivious to everything around them. You might feel sorry for that last group, but you shouldn’t. Because that big, loud group talking over each other? They’re exhausted from having tense smiles plastered to their faces the whole time.
“You’re so silly, Chi-chan!♪” Even though I was on the outside looking in, I could tell that the girl who stood out most from the group, with the brightly colored hair, was frazzled. She was smiling, but it just seemed forced.
“Hey, did you guys watch that drama last night? Sho-kun is so hot, isn’t he?” She kept bringing up the same old thing they talked about every day. Even though she’d dyed her hair, she still looked like an idol because of her baby face. Her style was always on point and she had a cheerful personality. On the surface it seemed like her life was perfect, so why did she look so drained? I never understood what went on in the minds of the cool kids.
Meanwhile...
I looked at the girl sitting in the last row next to the window, right behind me. Her eyes were glued to her paperback with a superdeformed tiger on the cover, and she was wearing noise-canceling earphones as if to say, “I’m not interested in you, so just leave me alone.” It was obvious she was totally immersed in her own world. If I had to describe it, I’d say she had a really strong sense of self.
Well, might as well read my own book. I sat down and took out my hardcover book from my backpack. This author had written several mystery-thriller novels based on historical works of art. A few of them had even been made into movies, so they were generally regarded as being pretty good. Their latest work had just been released in a two-set hardcover version, so I’d brought it to school.
It was kind of a pain to lug the heavy books around, but they were fun to read and a great way to entertain myself during the boring breaks. And the plot was so involved, it did a better job lulling me to sleep on a peaceful day than sleeping pills.
I’m not gonna fall asleep already, though... It’s only homeroom period.
“Hey.” I heard a voice from in front of me. It sounded like they were trying to get somebody’s attention...
“Hey. Hey, you! I’m talking to you.”
Shut up. Whoever she’s calling for, just answer already.
“Hey! Stop ignoring me!”
My book was suddenly yanked out of my hands. I looked up and saw the girl with the dyed hair who had been talking at the front of the classroom. She now stood in front of me pouting, my book in her hands.
“Uh, can you give that back?”
“Ah, sorry! I mean, wait!” She slammed her hand down on the desk.