“What do you want me to do about it? If you don’t want me to talk to Hanamizawa-san anymore, then you’re gonna have to go to her and convince her to stay away from me.” Then maybe I could finally get some peace and quiet again...
“Huh? I’m not gonna do that.”
“What? Why not?!”
“’Cuz even if we’re friends, that doesn’t mean I can just go around telling her who not to hang out with. Kanon can be friends with whoever she wants. Even better if it’s someone I don’t know.”
Huh. So she’s actually got standards? I thought as I straightened my collar. Apparently she had a lot of integrity and was pretty tough, or else she wouldn’t be doing this. And yet she wouldn’t force her ideals on someone else. Ha ha ha... She’s a good kid at heart.
“Wh-why are you smiling?”
“No reason.”
“Anyway, I’m worried about Kanon! If you’re not doing something shady, then tell me what it is!”
“I dunno about that...” Now, what should I do? If I was honest and told her we just went to a spa and took a nap together, would she believe me? I glanced up at Ido-san. Ahh, she’s still glaring at me. In that case, I doubt she’d believe me.
And if I wanted to show her, it’d be hard on my wallet to keep spending an extra 750 yen every time she wanted to do it. It wasn’t fair to the one whose tickets I was borrowing for Hanamizawa-san either. I guess I’d just have to give her a lesson on how to spend time alone.
“Um... How about I show you what Hanamizawa-san and I do together?”
“As long as it’s nothing shady.”
“It’s definitely not.” Not one bit shady at all.
Ido-san nodded. “Fine, then.”
“So you’re okay doing the same thing we did?”
She gave me a suspicious look. “Are you sure it’s nothing shady?”
How rude. “I promise it’s utterly wholesome. Today after school, okay?”
“Fine.” She nodded without hesitation. I couldn’t say I agreed with her methods, but I couldn’t help but think this might be easier with her than Hanamizawa-san.
◊◊◊
I lingered around in the classroom after school and sent off a text message, feeling guilty. The message was quickly marked as read but I got no response. I was just beginning to wonder if they were angry with me when my phone suddenly buzzed.
“Got it.”
Just those two words. I couldn’t read the feelings behind that sentence, and it scared me. Sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you. I heard the chair behind me clatter.
Everyone either went home or left for after school activities. Before long, it was just me and Ido-san left in the classroom. She must’ve said something to Hanamizawa-san today, because Hanamizawa-san had only glanced over at me before she left, not saying anything.
“So will you tell me now?” Ido-san walked over, hands shoved in her sweatshirt.
“I guess so,” I answered after a pause.
“Huh? Why do you sound so bummed about it?”
“Actually, I’d promised someone to go shopping with them for library equipment after school today.”
“Oh, sorry about that.”
Hm, that was quick. She was the kind of person who could give a genuine apology. “Eh, it wasn’t anything heavy, so I’m sure they’ll be fine without me...”
“Really? If you say so. So? What are we going to do?” she asked, and I took my textbook and a notebook out of my desk.
“Sit down in the seat next to me.”
“Okay.”
“Now take out whatever textbook you want, and a notebook.”
“Okay.”
Ido-san was more cooperative than I thought she’d be. I guess she was actually a fairly serious person. She spread out her school supplies on the desk.
“Okay. We’re both going to study for thirty minutes.”
“Huh? What do you mean stu—”
“Aaaand, start.”
“Huh? Ahh!” She seemed momentarily confused, but then started studying.
Once I was satisfied that she was following directions, I looked down at my own notebook. Midterms were coming up soon, so I decided to focus on my worst subject—Japanese history. Since world history was so broad, it was easy to remember important events, but it was tough for me to remember stuff that happened in the Heian, Muromachi, and Edo periods of Japanese history. Plus, it seemed like everyone was named Fujiwara, Ashikaga, Tokugawa, or Matsudaira, and I kept mixing them all up.
I focused and studied for thirty minutes until the alarm I’d set went off. I set down my pen. Ido-san did the same and said, “Phew!” while she let out a sigh. Then she said, “Hey, why’d you make me study in the first place?!” as if the question had only just now come to her.
“Took ya long enough.” She must have impressive concentration and stamina to wait thirty minutes to ask that.
She sandwiched my face between her hands and jiggled it. “I thought you were gonna show me what you did with Kanon!”
“I d-d-did!” I grabbed her wrists and pried her hands off of my face. Then I told her I was teaching Hanamizawa-san how to spend time alone—and made sure to mention that it was at her request, of course.
“Kanon asked you to do that...?” Ido-san looked completely astonished, as if she’d just been slapped in the face. I didn’t understand why. “She doesn’t like being with us?”
“Oh, I don’t think that’s it.” It sounded like she was taking this in the wrong direction, so I decided to speak up. “Wanting to spend time alone is different from wishing you could just be alone. It doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t want to spend time with you guys in a group.”
“Are you sure...?” Her eyes wavered. I felt a vulnerability from her that was a far cry from that strength she showed me earlier. I wondered if the whole tough girl thing was just an act and deep down she was actually really sensitive.
I sighed and looked towards the front of the classroom. “I don’t know what you two usually talk about. Whatever happens over there in the extrovert group is like a whole different universe to me.”
She stared at me silently.
“And honestly, I don’t really care.”
“That’s being a little too honest, don’t you think?”
“Anyway, whenever I glance over at Hanamizawa-san, she always has a smile on her face. But I don’t know her super well or anything, so I can’t say that I really understand her. What about you, though? Do you think she’s smiling to cover up her true feelings lately? Or that she’s forcing a smile?”
“No, I don’t, but...” It seemed like she wanted to believe that was true, but wasn’t entirely sure. That made sense; even if they were friends, you could never be sure how someone else felt.
“You should just ask her, then. I think she’d tell you the truth.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll do that.” Apparently that was good enough for her. Suddenly she shook her head as if to switch gears. “Anyway, why studying?”
“Because it’s an efficient use of your time when you’re alone.” I held up my fingers, listing off the reasons. “Number one, you’ll look like a hard worker if you study. Because you are working hard. So you’ll give off this aura that tells people to leave you alone, and they will. It’s even harder to talk to someone who’s studying than someone who’s just reading a book with earphones in, right?”
“Earphones... Oh, right—that girl in our class. I guess someone studying would give a similar impression as her.”
“Then you have the added bonus of learning more and getting better scores on tests, which matters a lot in our school since they post everyone’s score on the wall afterwards. No one’s gonna tease the kid who got the highest grade, even if they’re a loner.”
“Huh? Do you have really good grades, Yashiro?”
“I scored in the top ten in our grade on first semester midterms and finals.”
“For real?! I didn’t know you were so smart!”
“See? The cool kids respect me, like you just did.”
“I guess I do have a different opinion of you now, but that cocky look on your face kinda ruins it...”
“You’re never wasting your time when you’re studying, because it’ll help you get into a better school and then you’ll have a better future down the line. You can do it alone, it’ll boost your self-esteem, and it improves your life. Studying alone is like the best thing a loner can do.”
“I feel like you’re right, but it sounds so...well, sad.” She sounded exasperated.
I’ll let that one slide. “I keep recommending it to Hanamizawa-san, but she keeps saying no.”
“Oh, yeah. She hates studying. Home ec is her favorite subject.”
“Huh. Never would’ve pegged her as the domestic type based on the way she looks.”
“She’s really feminine. She’s really good at cooking and sewing. So much so that even I’d wanna marry her.”
“Like in a sexy way?”
“Sexy way...? Anyway, she really struggles before tests. She knows we won’t be able to hang out if she fails, so we all study together to make sure she passes.”
“You study together?” I asked, and she scowled at me.
“What? You think we’re all so weak we can only study as a group?”
“I didn’t say that.” Is it just me, or is she playing the victim way too much? Maybe she has a short temper. “I just think you can study a lot more efficiently if you do it alone.”
“Really? I think it’s fun to study together.”
“I won’t deny that, but are you sure you’re actually focusing on studying and not getting distracted by chatting?”
“Ugh... Okay, I guess that does happen sometimes.” Her eyes darted away, ashamed. “But we can keep an eye on each other so we don’t slack off, right?”
“Then you can just study in pairs, or study over video chat or something.”
“I-I guess you’re right...”
“If you can actually focus while studying in a group, then you can study alone. And the reverse is true too.” If you can study alone, you can study with anyone. And if you can’t even focus when you’re alone, then I doubt you can focus in a group. “You can do basically anything alone that you can do in a group. If something is fun with a group, you can enjoy it solo just as well. That’s what I think, anyway.”
“Ughh...” Ido-san groaned. She was probably trying to think up a retort. “Oh! I know! Teaching other people can help you study! Because it helps you review the material.”
“Yeah, output is important.” Output was making the things you learned tangible and teaching them to others. You had to understand the topic at hand very thoroughly in order to do that.