Chapter 4 Sigrdrifa 1 “You’re the one who contributed the most, Natalie. You finished it off.” “No, you deserve the most credit, Alma. Without your Grand Slam, we never would have revealed the secondary’s weak point.” “It’s you.” “It has to be you!” Sparks flew as Alma and Natalie glared at each other. They were in the command post of Hamburg base. The base was still showing much of the damage it had sustained during battle from the day before. Having survived the fierce fighting, the Valkyries had been ordered to get some rest, and they had slept like logs. They were called to the office of the base’s commanding officer the next morning, and they had just gathered when Natalie and Alma started getting into it. Their argument was heated, but it was a strange one. They were both trying to argue the other was more deserving of the highest recognition for their feats in battle. “It’s funny. Normally, people would be fighting to claim the honors for themselves,” Alejandro mused, propping his head up and enjoying their argument. “That seems wrong in its own right…” Rusalka sighed and turned to the two girls. Her sky-blue eyes glinted. “Behave yourselves. Where do you think you are?” “” Her strict rebuke was enough to get Alma and Natalie to stop at once. She nodded at the two of them when they turned to face her before continuing: “You are third-generation Valkyries… I’m aware you were sent out into battle with less-than-minimal training that could hardly be called a crash course, but even so, this is inexcusable.” “Ack…” “So harsh…” Alma groaned. The two of them froze at Rusalka’s genuine reprimand. Rusalka seemed satisfied that they had finally realized how unacceptable their argument was, given where they were standing, but Alejandro’s smile only deepened as he added his thoughts to the mix. “I wonder who’s really failing to be considerate here? Well, it’s nothing new that all the Valkyries are problem kids. Not much point worrying about it now.” “—? That is a rather unsatisfactory evaluation,” Rusalka protested. “Just let it go. It’d be a pain in the ass if we got stuck here all day. I’ll entertain your grievances later.” She did not really appreciate how he said that, either, but it was technically an order from a superior officer, so Rusalka reluctantly acquiesced. Alejandro grimaced, not failing to notice Rusalka’s grudging acceptance. “Ummm, so then why did you call us here, sir?” In Rusalka’s stead, a small girl with her hair split into two braids raised her hand. She did not look quite as young as Alma, but there was still some immaturity to her face. She was one of the Valkyries in the flight who also fought hard during the battle. Rusalka had the same question. The only people in the room were the Valkyries who had flown yesterday and Alejandro, who had assumed command of the base during the battle. “I’m still pretty tired and sleepy honestly, so I’d like to have a chance to recover, ya know…?” the small girl griped. “Well, I’ll be damned. We’ve got us a live one here. I know it’s just temporary, but I am technically your commanding officer,” Alejandro said in exasperation. “Maybe I’d be more awestruck if you were some superhuman being.” The young Valkyrie dodged his complaint with a calm attitude, like she was the real big shot. Seemingly taking a liking to her, Alejandro let out something between a stifled chuckle and a sigh. “So you know what you think and you aren’t afraid to say it, huh. I like it.” “My plane’s all beat up, too. It’d be pretty rough if the enemies came a third day in a row.” “Whoa, there. I’ve got enough nightmare fuel as it is.” Alejandro shrugged. And then he winked as he turned to Rusalka. “Well, even if that did happen, I’m sure Rusalka can manage something with all her wisdom and bravery, right?” “There are limits to how much you can squeeze from wisdom and bravery. I can take twenty men in a bar brawl, but I can’t fight a war without my plane.” “” The eyes of everyone in the room widened. Looking from face to face at their reactions, Rusalka pointed to her lips. “I was joking just now. Was it hard to tell?” “If you’ve gotten over it enough to be able to joke about it, then that’s what’s important. Getting back to the topic at hand, though… Honestly, the idea of another assault by the pillars is not a laughing matter.” On that note, Alejandro stood and looked at the lined-up Valkyries. He leaned over the ebony desk and punched his palm to his chest with a smack. “If they came at us two days in a row, there’s no guarantee a third attack isn’t coming. But fortunately, this time they didn’t simply retreat—they were entirely annihilated. So there’s good reason to believe there won’t be another fight so soon.” “But even that isn’t certain,” Rusalka noted, following his line of thought. “That’s right. So we need to figure out how to get back on our feet ASAP. Regarding your Deus ex Machinas, the maintenance crews are hard at work on them right now. But they’ve been working around the clock for two days now, so efficiency has dropped like a rock.” “Then what are your intentions, sir?” Natalie’s shapely eyebrows furrowed as she struggled to see how the situation could be improved. Alejandro clapped his hands, as if he had been waiting for that question. “This is the crux of the problem. Honestly, it is going to be difficult to get Hamburg back to full operations in the near future. The command staff has been decimated, and it will take time to rebuild the wall around the city, too.” “So then what can we do…?” Natalie wondered aloud. “—Push the front lines forward?” “Exactly.” Alejandro snapped his fingers and winked at Alma for guessing correctly. Alma didn’t respond, and Rusalka’s reaction was chilly as well, but Natalie was different. Her lips quivered with excitement. “So that’s how it is. It’ll take time to restore the base, but we can’t just abandon the ground we fought so hard to hold. With retreat out of the question, the only path is forward,” Natalie concluded after some further thought. “Ooooh. How’d you figure that out, Alma?” asked the other young Valkyrie. “I thought the idea of pulling back because we can’t fix the base was meh, so why not go forward instead?” “T-trying to figure everything out with that brute animal instinct of yours again…” Natalie, who always tried to approach things logically, simply could not wrap her head around Alma’s instinctual reactions. If anything, Rusalka was more on Natalie’s end of the spectrum, so she understood. But rather than sympathizing with Natalie, she focused on the subject at hand. “Pushing the front lines forward? …Is that really possible?” Rusalka openly questioned. “It certainly won’t be easy. And I’m sure some will laugh it off as idle fantasy. But you all took down a secondary pillar. There’s no arguing with that fact,” Alejandro assured them. “” “You managed to do something that no one other than the First has done before. You’ve pulled off something amazing enough to go above and beyond the expectations of the brass…and the entire world.” Alejandro looked at them as he crossed his arms resolutely. Natalie and the others gaped at the scale of what he was saying. “The expectations of the world…,” Natalie murmured. “You have carried the hopes of the world as Valkyries before now. But this is something far weightier than that. It’s a special class, even among Valkyries.” It was an idea that was too great for simple words to convey. And the Valkyries other than Rusalka stiffened at that. Even Alma furrowed her brow, as if dwelling on some thought. And Natalie, who always had a powerful sense of duty, had surely been hit with a heavy shock. “Humanity’s hopes…on our shoulders.” Natalie quietly tested the words. “Yep. How’s it feel? Heavy?” “…I wouldn’t have it any other way.” There was a moment of hesitation, but Natalie still managed to respond confidently. Her strength of will was dazzling to Rusalka. Her electrifying way of life was truly fitting one who would fly while bearing the hopes of humanity. “Sigrdrifa.” Suddenly, Alejandro screwed up his face and said something that Rusalka didn’t understand. It was a word she didn’t recognize, and she furrowed her brow when she couldn’t parse it. Seeing that, Alejandro continued: “Sorry. It’s only natural you wouldn’t know. It’s the name of an operation that had been developed in the upper levels of the army.” “An operation?” “Yes. The brass had developed a plan for a potential counterattack to reclaim areas controlled by the pillars, and the name for the squadron that would serve as the core of that counterattack is Sigrdrifa.” “” Hearing that, astonishment and understanding colored Natalie’s and the others’ faces. But it meant something more to Rusalka. She understood it immediately. That plan had been originally designed for Amy and her squadron. A squadron centered around the First Valkyrie that would reclaim the lands seized by the pillars, with the ultimate goal of defeating the primary pillars. That was the true form of Sigrdrifa. “I was personally tasked with forming this new squadron. The brass is looking for a miracle, and by chance and with a lot of help from all of you, I managed to make that happen for them. So now I’ve gotta pull another rabbit out of my hat.” “—I would like to join Sigrdrifa, sir!” As Alejandro scratched his head, Natalie’s hand immediately shot up. He was taken aback when she suddenly stepped forward and volunteered, her cheeks red with excitement. Natalie was breathing heavily through her nose as she leaned forward even more. “Alma contributed the most in this battle, but I did land the last blow on the secondary pillar. I am sure I will be of service, sir.” Natalie’s sense of duty was on fire as she made an appeal for her usefulness. Her upright personality was on full display as she still refused to yield in her belief that Alma deserved the most credit for defeating the secondary. Natalie turned to look at Alma. “Alma! You made the most distinguished contribution, so you should be putting yourself forward as well! We have a duty to take responsibility for our actions.” “Natalie is the one who did the most…” Alma grimaced in seeming annoyance at Natalie’s meddling. But the bitterness soon faded. “But if I can go to the front lines, then that’s what I want.” “I’d have it no other way!” Natalie broke into a happy smile as Alma indicated her willingness to join. Surprisingly, the two of them seemed almost like friends. And latent abilities aside, their current fighting capabilities were well aligned as well. “Just hold your horses. Your desire to volunteer is commendable, and I acknowledge your enthusiasm. But I said it before, didn’t I? I was personally tasked with forming the new squadron. Your enthusiasm has nothing to do with it.” “…Do you mean…?” “Do you mean to say we’re not qualified…?” Alma and Natalie paled in disbelief. There was a mysterious gleam in Alejandro’s eyes as he watched them. But Rusalka just heaved an ostentatious sigh. “It is poor taste to play tricks like that, sir. Please don’t tease these young pilots.” “Rusalka…?” “Neither of you needs to worry. The command staff will be the judge of which of you contributed most to this victory, but regardless of who receives that commendation, there is no way either of you would not be chosen. You both contributed greatly to the defeat of a secondary pillar, and Sigrdrifa will need members with those sorts of achievements to have any credibility.” The Sigrdrifa plan required Valkyries with precisely that sort of world-class track record in order to get off the ground. It had originally been drawn up with Amy’s name to lend it weight, and now it would finally get a chance to see the light of day. “Sheesh, it’s no fun when you can see through everything. I can’t hide anything at all, can I?” And Alejandro broke into a smile, all but confirming her deduction. His attitude was like a playful lion, but Natalie and Alma were not amused. Laughing at their reactions, Alejandro glanced over to Rusalka. “Incidentally, it sounds like you’re of the same opinion. That Sigrdrifa should be made up of the people who contributed most to the last battle.” “Is that not just fundamentally obvious? If anything, it would be illogical to try to keep them out. If I were the commanding officer, I would make the same decision.” “Right? Well, it’s a relief to have your seal of approval, too. If that’s how the person of interest feels, then it makes things easier on me as the one giving orders.” Something about the way he said that caught Rusalka’s attention. And she quickly realized why when she met Alejandro’s eyes. “You can’t be serious…” “It was your swift discovery that helped reveal the true nature of the secondary pillar’s ability, and it was thanks to your efforts that went above and beyond the call of duty that we were able to restore the base’s ability to function so quickly. Furthermore, your contributions in leading the Valkyrie flight and assisting in the defeat of the same pillar are undeniable. And while you yielded the final blow, your final push was what ultimately revealed the enemy’s weak point.” “” “I’ve already talked with the brass—the one who contributed most in this battle was none other than you, Major Evereska.” Alejandro looked Rusalka in the eyes as he announced her new rank. Unable to face her reflection in his clear-blue eyes, Rusalka looked away. But even though she looked away, there was no escaping what he was asking of her. She had said it herself—that it was only logical that whoever had been judged to have contributed most would be chosen for Sigrdrifa. But— “I folded up my wings once before already. Who could—?” “—I can accept that decision.” As Rusalka tried to find an excuse, Natalie immediately cut in. She was holding her arms and looking away from Rusalka. “If you hadn’t gotten the army back on its feet, the damage we suffered would surely have been much greater. There would have been little hope of restoring the city and the base…and in the worst case, we might have been completely defeated.” “” “Hypothetically at least. Even without your guidance, we would surely have claimed a narrow victory.” Natalie’s face turned red as she refuted herself as an afterthought. There was a trace of her pride in the fact that she limited it to only a narrow victory, refusing to acknowledge any possible result other than victory. “I agree. Rusalka deserves it.” “Ah, then me too.” With Natalie’s assertion over, Alma tacked on her approval, as did the third Valkyrie who spoke with a decidedly relaxed tone of voice. The two of them waved their hands as they acknowledged Rusalka’s meritorious actions. Honestly, it was a mysterious feeling. “You always shunned me, though…,” Rusalka protested. “…You were irritating, yes. But when the time came, you stood and contributed to our victory in your Deus ex Machina. What could there be to hate about you?” Natalie held firm. “But I’m just a Second. My abilities are lacking in every area compared to you…” “Are you mocking me?! After you flew that elegantly— Argh! Why do I have to try so hard to compliment you?! Unbelievable!” Natalie stamped her foot, at wit’s end dealing with Rusalka’s stubbornness. Seeing the swelling indignation that would have had Natalie biting her handkerchief if she had one, Rusalka was finally cornered. No, it isn’t quite that. “Is it heavy? Carrying all humanity’s hopes? Or…” As Rusalka questioned herself, Alejandro had a question of his own. He paused for a moment before continuing. Rusalka eagerly awaited his next words. “Or is it because of the name Sigrdrifa?” Rusalka inhaled sharply at his soft question. Just how good could one man be at jabbing right into the depths of people’s hearts? That pointless thought let her forget how dry her lips were for a moment. “What is there to hesitate about, Major Evereska? You are…” “Natalie.” When Rusalka did not immediately respond, Natalie looked irritated and started to question her, but Alma grabbed her sleeve and shook her head, stopping Natalie. “This is for Rusalka to decide.” “—Gh. I just can’t understand it.” With her strong sense of duty, Natalie could not comprehend why Rusalka was hesitating. But the fact that she at least tried to understand was a demonstration of her virtue. “Could I ask you to give just a little bit of time before I respond?” In the end, Rusalka wanted a chance to think on it. “Yeah, I’ll wait. But I’m not gonna wait till I’m old and wrinkled.” “It won’t take that long—not this time.” She ignored his joke as she looked down at her hand. “Well then, looks like things are allll nice and settled now. You guys do your best.” The laid-back Valkyrie was ready to excuse herself, but Alejandro wasn’t letting her go that easily. “You’re acting like it’s someone else’s business, but you’re joining the squadron, too.” “Huh?” Shannon Stewart, the girl who had tried to wrap things up neatly with a clap of her hands, tilted her head. She would also be a member of the newly formed Sigrdrifa. 2 —Unsurprisingly, the restoration of the city was not proceeding nearly as smoothly as it had two days earlier. “That’s to be expected, I guess.” She could still feel the damp ground and puddles beneath her feet as she absentmindedly looked around the city. The general had ordered her to observe the city two days ago, but this time she had gone on her own initiative. The man who had given her that order, Major General Logrev Barkley, had died honorably in service during the battle. At the time, she had not really understood why he had given her that order, but— “He was probably trying to get me to realize exactly what was resting on my shoulders.” Like many others, General Barkley had lamented the fact that Rusalka had folded up her wings and been dwelling on her pain. That was why he had done so much, for better or worse, to get Rusalka moving again. “Even though I was such a difficult subordinate to deal with… I can only hope I will be able to live up to his expectations.” It must have been a challenge for him to take care of a Valkyrie who had been an ace, only to fold up her wings. But he never once treated her badly. It made her realize again just how great the general was, and she resolved herself to keep her head high going forward. “Ah! Miss!” As she adjusted her posture, a high, loud shout rang out. The boy Rusalka had saved the day before was waving his hand as he ran over, kicking up slashes of water as he crossed the puddles. They had parted ways almost immediately after meeting last time, back when they were both still drenched from head to toe. “Hello. You look like you are doing well,” Rusalka said in greeting. “Mm-hmm. I didn’t get hurt at all thanks to you. You got the bad guys, right?” “Yes, I did. Apparently, I even earned a commendation for contributing the most to victory.” “Wow! I don’t know what commendation means, but that sounds amazing!” The child clapped his hands in innocent excitement, and amusement lit Rusalka’s eyes. She had meant it as a joke, but when she actually found herself saying it, something about it struck her far harder than she had expected. Before he could ask her any more questions, she glanced around. “Are you by yourself? Are your parents…?” Just then, she caught herself, realizing she had potentially asked a very inconsiderate question. But the boy didn’t notice her concern as he scratched his head. “I’m alone right now, but it’s fine. Mom and Dad both came back. Our house fell down, though.” “O-oh. That’s a shame.” “It was because of all the water.” The boy seemed half sad and half defiant at that fact. Rusalka closed her eyes. It was a relief that his family was safe, but her choice of topic had been careless to say the least. It was not at all uncommon to suddenly and violently lose family members in this day and age. The fact that the two back-to-back battles had turned out to be a massive victory for the European Army did not change that fact of life. “Even when we win, it always takes a toll…” The higher-ups in the army and the people in the city were all excited by yesterday’s triumph, but there had been losses, too, even if those losses were not publicly acknowledged. “” Rusalka felt a sort of emptiness from that realization. And that she felt that way struck her as almost arrogant. But she also suspected it was just a taste of the loneliness Amy had felt. Amy had guided the forces of humanity to victory on countless battlefields, but she’d never been able to save everyone. Rusalka wondered if it had hurt her every time she’d seen the shattered towns and all the people busily trying to get back to normal, or if her spirit had been so strong and noble that she’d never experienced that heartbreak. Even as she thought that, she knew all too well that it wasn’t true. “Miss? Are you hurt?” A child’s intuition was a powerful thing. That innocent gaze seemed like it could see right through an adult’s clumsy deceptions. The boy had easily recognized the anguish she had been trying to keep hidden and was sincerely worried about her. Rusalka shook her head and relaxed her lips. “No, you needn’t worry about me. This is just a pain I will have to grow used to.” “…That’s so sad. It hurts, right?” The boy was teary-eyed as he looked up at Rusalka’s smiling face, looking her straight in the eyes. “If it hurts, then I can pat it for you.” “” “Wah!” The boy was surprised when he was suddenly enveloped by a comforting warmth. Struck by his kindness, Rusalka had unconsciously given him a hug. Pathetic as it was, she had been taught something important by this boy for the second time in as many days. She was filled with immense gratitude. She was thankful that she had been able to save him. And she would have more chances to experience that same feeling in the days ahead. Even if it would just be once or twice. Even if her struggle amounted to little in the end. This is why I am fighting. “—Be good to your family. I’m glad you made it through safely.” 3 Leaving the boy, she walked the streets for a little while before steeling herself to enter the pub. When she pushed open the swinging door, a bell rang. Looking around the gloomy room, she saw the owner standing behind the counter. His eyes widened slightly when he saw her. Rusalka stepped inside with a nod. “You are open quite early.” “…It’s getting to be evening. About time the folks running around outside’ll start feeling like a pint. Best time to earn some money.” “So it would appear. I’m glad your shop is still standing.” “I got lucky. It’s in better shape now than how you left it after that brawl.” “I’m sorry; I still can’t remember it.” The owner offered a shrug and a “that’s impressive” to her confessed memory loss. Turning, he poured a glass and set it gently on the counter. “This…really looks like milk,” Rusalka observed with apparent confusion. “That’s ’cause it is. I’m not pouring a regular drink for someone who doesn’t know how to hold their liquor.” “I know how to drink it. You just lift it to your mouth, pour some in, and then it passes through your throat.” “That’s downing it. That’s not what drinking is. Besides, if you fly off the handle again, there’s no way I can stop you by myself… Was your boss okay after that?” “Boss…” Staring at the glass of milk, Rusalka looked to her unreliable memories to try to figure out what he meant. But her memories of that night were still lost to the ether and entirely unsalvageable. But from what she knew of what happened afterward, there was a natural explanation. “Do you mean the person with me who was also taken away?” Rusalka asked. “Hmm? Yeah, I think I heard he got thrown in the stockade.” “…Yes, he’s fine. He’s currently sitting in the best seat in the base, even.” “Is that so…” The barkeep nodded slightly in acknowledgment. Taking him up on his hospitality, Rusalka lifted the glass of milk to her lips. As she did, the general gist of what must have happened that night finally clicked in the back of her mind. Which would also be why she and Alejandro had both been thrown into the stockade. “Evenin’.” The barkeep greeted the new guest as the bell at the door rang. And then his eyebrows arched. “Oh? Speak of the devil. Were you waiting for him?” “—?” Rusalka arched her eyebrows in confusion. Turning, she saw a tall, blond man stepping through the door of the pub and immediately spoke up. “That’s a hideous misunderstanding, and I feel obligated to correct it for the sake of my honor.” “Hey! I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I can tell you’re already bad-mouthing me. Also, you shouldn’t be bothering civilians. Don’t go causing him any more problems.” Rusalka heaved an ostentatious sigh as he sat on the stool next to her like it was the obvious thing to do. “Colonel Ostley…” “What do you have to sigh about? Right when I was thinking to myself that I haven’t seen you around the base, here you are, slinking away to a pub. Looks like you’ve got a promising future in the army after all,” Alejandro said as he flashed a carefree smile. “To be honest, I’m not particularly enthused with that appraisal. And this is not alcohol. I’m quite capable of learning from my mistakes.” “Really? Or did the owner just give you milk because he was worried about what you’d do?” “…I won’t deny that…” Even if the barkeep had not given her milk, she had had no intention of ordering anything alcoholic. But she was sure Alejandro wouldn’t buy that excuse, so she gave up trying to explain herself as her gaze sharpened. “And what brings you here, Colonel Ostley? Shouldn’t you be quite busy handling everything back at base?” “Isn’t it a pain to keep saying ‘Colonel Ostley’? You can just call me Alejandro.” “Why are you here, Colonel Ostley?” “Ha-ha-ha.” Something about her stubborn response triggered a cascade of amused laughter. “My subordinates are all supremely competent, so I was told to leave to get out of their hair. Given that, I had little choice but to take a look around town.” “It is hard to reconcile that first part with you popping into a pub in such high spirits.” “Really? You mean this isn’t exactly what the soldiers you knew were like?” “That’s…” Rusalka did not have a reply to his counter. Taking her brief silence for an answer, Alejandro grinned like he had just pulled off a great prank. He held up a finger to the barkeep. “A pint of ale for me, boss.” “You’re quite comfortable in this setting, aren’t you?” “I can tell you’re desperately trying to make me out to be some bad soldier, but we both know you hesitated just then. So no, I’m not going to quit drinking—check and mate.” “” Rusalka could only meet his banter with indignant silence. The lack of conversation carried on for a while, with only the sound of the bartender pouring Alejandro’s drink punctuating the silence. Finally, the bartender placed the pint on the counter. “—To comrades.” “—To comrades.” Rusalka reluctantly joined Alejandro’s toast. If it was to comrades, to the dead, then she had no reason to turn it down. Rusalka sipped her milk, feeling bitter that everything seemed to be playing right into Alejandro’s hand. After a short while of drinking in silence, he spoke up again. “So how about it? Going to be able to make a decision?” Half a day had passed since the conversation that morning. On the one hand, he hadn’t given her much time at all, but on the other hand, it also wasn’t particularly rushed. “Wouldn’t it be more normal to give me a bit more time?” “I like to think I’m on the more patient end of the spectrum, but unfortunately, when it comes to this, I can’t really afford to wait much. I have to keep scrambling, looking for new potential.” “New potential…” “Finding Valkyries worthy of carrying the hopes of the world and tapping them to become members of Sigrdrifa.” “” Alejandro downed half his ale in one gulp before setting the glass on the counter. Rusalka hesitated for a moment as she watched a drop of condensation trickle down the outside of the glass. “Am I really one of those?” “Do you even have to ask? With all the titles you’ve earned and everything you’ve done, you think that’s still not enough?” “My self-confidence is…” “You still can’t believe in yourself, huh? Yeah, that’s definitely a personality thing. Honestly, I can’t understand it at all. I’ve been like this since I was born. Never not been sure of myself.” “That’s hard to comprehend. Have you really never doubted yourself?” “Nope.” Rusalka couldn’t help chuckling at how easily he answered that. Alejandro was always looking straight ahead at what he needed to do, his eyes never clouded by doubt. Not even when burdened with such a sudden, heavy load as taking over as the interim base commander in the middle of battle. Not only that, he was leading Sigrdrifa and standing on the front lines of humanity’s war for survival. “…I doubt I could ever stand in that position.” “If you need to hear it from someone else, I can say it, too. If you hadn’t noticed what was going on, none of our forces would have been able to maintain even basic unit cohesion. If you hadn’t flown, there is no way all the Valkyries would have made it back alive. And if you hadn’t been there fighting, there’s no way we would have taken down the secondary. The reason it was decided that you were the one who contributed the most to that battle is because of all the things you did. You have every right to be proud of what you’ve accomplished.” Alejandro rattled off a glowing list of her achievements as he held his glass. Praising her distinguished service during the battle and how she had filled a crucial role, he gave her a push by saying how she had indisputably saved the day. It was all— “That’s a rather scathing way to put it.” It was all a painful bed of thorns for Rusalka, and he surely knew that. After that one comment, she fell silent. “” “At the end of the day, the things people say are still just words. You’re the one who has to make this decision for yourself. If you were the kind of woman who couldn’t do that, then maybe someone else could decide it for you. But that’s not you. When it comes down to it in the end, you decide things for yourself—just like she did.” “She…?” Alejandro seemed to be looking off in the distance. Rusalka furrowed her brow as he seemed to be thinking of someone far away. But he didn’t respond. Instead, he finished his drink in a single gulp. Setting the glass on the counter with a heavy thud, he said, “Boss, another pint for me. And one for her, too.” “Is that ale…? W-wait, I’m not drinking…” “Quit whining. This is an order from a superior officer. I’ll have you thrown in the stockade for insubordination if you don’t obey.” “You— That’s an abuse of power…!” Rusalka’s voice quivered, but Alejandro snorted shamelessly. The barkeep looked disapproving, probably out of concern for what Rusalka might do after having a drink again. But Alejandro just flashed him a lighthearted grin. “Don’t worry. I’m not gonna make her drink enough to go wild. And it’s up to her to decide whether she actually drinks or not anyway.” The barkeep sighed before preparing his order. Finally, he placed two pints of ale on the counter. Seeing the glasses filled to the brim with alcohol, Rusalka gulped. “What do you mean, it’s up to me to decide?” “Exactly what it sounds like. I said it was an order, but you’re the one who chooses to obey or not. Just like how you’re the one who chooses to drink or not. Life is a series of choices, Rusalka.” “” “You have to make a choice in order to do anything. Sometimes people try to talk their way around this by saying they choose not to make a choice, but in the end, that’s just another choice. And if you ask me, making a choice means reaching out to grab something of your own volition. A choice doesn’t mean much if you’re just losing things left and right.” Rusalka froze when faced with the pint glass while Alejandro reasoned with her. He made no move to take his own glass, waiting for her to make her decision. Time passed slowly, and condensation formed on the side of the glass before leisurely trickling down. The silence that filled the room was interrupted only by their breathing. Then Rusalka suddenly realized something. “…Is this a continuation from the stockade?” “Yeah, a bit of advice and talking things through. Unfortunately, we know each other a bit more intimately now, though…” “That isn’t quite right. You already knew me quite well yesterday, Colonel. And I’m not fond of how you phrased that, either.” “Don’t go getting mad about every little clause tacked on to the end of a thought.” Alejandro smiled wryly before tapping his finger on the counter. It was in time with her heartbeat, and something about it felt awfully nice. “What did you think after looking around the city?” “What did I…? …I thought the scars from the pillars run deep.” “That’s true, but people are strong. Did that thought not occur to you, too?” It was true she had been struck by the resilience and resolution on display as she watched the people working to get back on their feet and restore the city. Rusalka fell silent, and Alejandro’s eyes narrowed. “With Sigrdrifa moving from place to place where they’re needed, you’ll see this same scene time and time again. And you’ll also taste that same sense of accomplishment as well as that same powerlessness.” He laid out the conflicted emotions she was feeling. No, he was not just reading her thoughts. He probably felt the same thing himself. He felt the same accomplishment from protecting the people and the city and the same powerlessness at not being able to protect them all. Just like she felt. For a moment, she saw Amy’s face in his. “Grrr.” She clenched her jaw. And when she opened her eyes, she grabbed the glass in front of her and raised it to her lips in one quick motion. The ale had a numbing effect as it passed her throat and spread through her body. It almost felt oppressive as she gulped it down. And finally, Rusalka slammed the empty glass on the counter. And then— “—I said something I never should’ve said.” —she finally put the source of her regrets, which she had bottled up inside, into words. 4 “—Please tell me? I want to know everything about you.” She could still remember the moment Amy had asked her that like it was just yesterday. As if time had stopped and she were living that moment over and over again. She saw it in her dreams every night. She saw Amy whenever she closed her eyes. The night Amy came to her room, the way she had sat on her bed, smiling up at her. The night her commanding officer had asked her if she would fly together with Amy. Rusalka had refused, only to stand face-to-face with Amy looking like she understood everything. Even in that final moment, she had never stopped smiling. “She said she came to our base because she wanted to meet me. Because I was the only survivor from the Ride of the Valkyrie who also became a Valkyrie.” Rusalka remembered how Amy had run over to her with that easy smile. The young girl who had pestered her to show her around the base while wanting to talk about so many things. Amy had run circles around her so many times. She was uninhibited and free, always thinking of things Rusalka never could have even imagined. Never behaving herself, even for a moment, always causing problems for Rusalka, who she happily dragged along behind her. It was so out of character for Rusalka that she had to go back to when she was still a child with her parents to remember the last time she had been led around like that. “I’m sure she was genuinely trying to get closer with me. I don’t think she ever once distanced herself from me. She was always sincere.” She could still remember how sharp Amy’s gaze was when she sat in her cockpit. Like an arrow loosed from a bow. She was just a normal girl when she was on the ground, but in the air, she transformed into a goddess of war, mowing down the invaders who dared fly in her skies. That change in character and her overwhelming strength stunned Rusalka every time she bore witness to it. The way she flew through the sky with more composure than anyone else… It was something every Valkyrie and everyone who ever yearned to fly dreamed of at least once. “She was close with the rest of my squad, too, and it was charming to see how they got along. It was a complicated situation, but they could probably be called friends.” Xenia, Victorica, and Canan all interacted with Amy in their own ways. A motherly figure, a friend, and an older sister. There wasn’t anything false about their friendships. Even though Rusalka tried to warn them to maintain an appropriate distance, the three eluded all her efforts at professionalism: Xenia looking on from a little ways away, enjoying herself while Rusalka was at a loss for words as the other two constantly conspired with Amy. Their bonds were real, and that was why they stuck with Amy all the way to that final battle. But Rusalka wasn’t able to go with her, and she wasn’t there for that fateful day— “When my commanding officer asked me about it, I didn’t have an answer. He offered to give me some time, like now, but when he said it wasn’t an order, I immediately had an answer.” If it was an order, she would have obeyed because she did not have a choice. But the moment she was told it was not an order, she instantly knew what she wanted to do. It was obvious from the fact that she would have obeyed only when she didn’t have a choice in the matter. “I didn’t want to go with Amy.” It was true that she liked Amy. She enjoyed talking with her, was surprised by how she viewed the world, and learned a lot by being able to observe her strength up close. All of that was true, and yet she still couldn’t go with Amy. “…Why not?” Alejandro gently nudged her along after having listened in silence up to that point. Rusalka licked her dry lips, looking for the words inside herself— “Why couldn’t you go with Amy…with the First?” Alejandro asked again. “Because…” “” “Because I hated the First Valkyrie.” She clearly remembered the sin she had committed that night. Remembered what she had said to Amy. The feelings she had kept bottled up, that she had decided should never see the light of day…those emotions had gradually forced their way out until they burst the dam in her heart. She had said those same words to Amy while she sat on Rusalka’s bed that night. When Amy had asked why, Rusalka had told her, “Because I hate the First.” “…You survived that day. That was the battle that proved the First Valkyrie’s strength, that signaled the start of humanity’s counterattack. You’re one of the witnesses who saw what happened.” “Yes.” “Why would you hate Amy? I don’t believe for a second that it was some roundabout suicidal ideation. And I can’t see you hating her for not letting you die fighting there, either.” Alejandro was right. Rusalka had never once wanted to die. And she had never been plagued by the thought that she would have been better off dying on that day. But when she had seen those golden wings dashing gallantly through that lonely sky—a sky so devoid of life she had felt like the only person left in the world—a thought had crept into her mind. “Why didn’t you come sooner? Why couldn’t you have been just a little bit faster…?” That thought had consumed her heart as she flew all alone through the dark skies. It was not something that should ever be voiced. A thought that she should never have spoken. Why had she said such a cruel, heartless, merciless, inconsiderate thing? How could she say something like that to Amy, who tried with all her might to save the lives scattering to the winds all around her? How could she ask why she hadn’t come sooner? Why hadn’t she come before Roy, Harris, Mullane, and Ed died? They had all been good friends and reliable comrades. They had their bad points: Roy was always chasing skirts, Harris would wear the same socks for days on end, Mullane incessantly complained about food, and Ed was meticulous and fastidious to a fault. But none of them ever looked down on Rusalka for being a woman or treated her any differently than any other guy in the squadron. They treated her like one of them and flew together with her, trusting her with their lives, just like she trusted them with hers. When she was left all alone in that empty sky, after they were all gone, she couldn’t help but think the unthinkable. “I knew better. It’s a famous story. How Amy tore herself away from the people trying to stop her from going out that day and rushed onto the battlefield.” Dozens of pillars had appeared, and the battle seemed hopeless for humanity. Amy was the cornerstone of humanity’s fighting strength. Their decision to try to protect her made perfect sense. But Amy broke free anyway and raced to join the battle, saving countless lives in the process. One of whom was Rusalka. And yet, after being saved, Rusalka’s response was, “Why didn’t you come sooner?” “Even though she saved us.” She had erred just that one time. With the younger girl sitting there right in front of her, asking so bluntly to hear what Rusalka really felt. In that moment, with Amy’s blue eyes trained on her, as Rusalka was saying the most pathetic, most shameful thing possible, she knew she was making a mistake. She was filled with guilt, and in any other moment, she would have surely averted her eyes. But she was looking at Amy. And she saw it. She saw sadness in the eyes of the girl who bore the fate of the world without ever letting the pain show on her face. “I’m sorry.” The sadness disappeared like it had never existed after she said those words. But she had made Amy apologize. A girl who hadn’t done a single thing wrong. Who had nothing to apologize for. Even though Rusalka was the only person who had survived that battle and was able fly in the same sky with her. Even though she should have been the last person in the world to hurt Amy like that. “I never spoke to Amy again after that night. I don’t know what she felt… I constantly thought about talking to her again someday.” But she had been robbed of that opportunity. She would never get another chance. She should have known it already. Ever since she had lost so many friends since that first battle. There was no guarantee that the person you were talking to today would be there tomorrow. “And now I’m supposed to stand in the same place Amy did? That’s… I…” “You can’t do it?” There was a sob in Rusalka’s voice as Alejandro quietly interrupted. Rusalka sucked air several times as she nodded. She had felt it particularly hard earlier when she had seen the shattered streets and the flurry of activity filling the city. When she saw the same scene Amy had, she was confronted once again by the enormity of the bond she had broken. So she— “I won’t tell you to fly in order to atone for your sins. Amy wouldn’t have wanted that, either.” “…Colonel…” “Yeah?” “Did you know Amy?” Rusalka finally voiced the question that had been so slow in coming. He had called her by name several times in the course of the conversation. It didn’t sound like someone who only knew of her, and she couldn’t let it go without asking. “How do you think I managed to pull off something like the Miracle at Lamia?” Alejandro scratched his cheek. “It was because Amy and her squadron covered our retreat.” “” Rusalka looked down as Alejandro answered matter-of-factly. He was right. It was obvious. His famous miracle had been the evacuation of a city attacked by a secondary pillar, an operation that involved safeguarding a huge number of civilians. And that was the battle where Amy, Xenia, Victorica, and Canan had fallen. His miracle was something the army had concocted to balance that tragic news with a man-made triumph. Alejandro Ostley was nothing but an artificial hero. “But I don’t care whether it’s all an illusion or not. Either way, I gained the power to fight back. I got Sigrdrifa.” “” “Honestly, I had intended to come see you sooner. But it’s hard to get around without causing waves when you’re treated like a hero. I only managed to make it out here when General Barkley called me in.” “The general…? No, you said you had intended to come see me?” It reminded her of the time when Amy had first spoken to her. Alejandro nodded. “Yeah, Amy left me a message for you. Though it’s not really as special as that makes it sound, I guess. I had an opportunity to talk to her, and she was worried about you.” “Amy was… About me?” “You weren’t the only one who wanted to talk face-to-face again.” Rusalka froze when she discovered a messenger she never even dreamed of. She was scared to ask what Amy had said, what she had left behind. But— “You can always choose not to ask,” Alejandro suggested. “…But you would still just choose to tell me. Right?” “Damn straight. You really do see right through me.” Alejandro declared without hesitation that he was going to be touching her heart whether she liked it or not. It was a little late, but she realized her first impression of him as a lion in a cage had been right on the money. He acted friendly and personable, but his true nature was undoubtedly that of a lion. He didn’t show any leniency and had a majestic bearing that inspired those around him to be more like him. And on top of that, he didn’t hesitate to extend a helping hand to pull up others. He was proudly aloof and kept himself apart, but when it came to his determination, he resembled Amy. That was probably why he had gotten close enough to Amy that she would discuss Rusalka with him. “She talked about you. This girl named Rusalka, who she had left behind. How you were moody, not honest about your feelings, despite being so straightforward and frank when it came to everything else. About how your personality was totally contradictory.” “” “About how you told her the things that she needed to hear that no one else would ever say. And about how you were her best friend.” “—Ah.” Rusalka had been determined to take the message head-on, no matter how harsh it had been. To at least atone what little she could by facing up to it honestly. “—Aghhh.” To resolutely accept whatever came. But that resolve didn’t last for a second. Hot tears poured from Rusalka’s wide-open eyes. No matter how much she wiped them away, there was no end to the tears. “She wasn’t mad at you. And while she was sad, she didn’t wallow in it, either.” “Ugh, ahhh…” “So you don’t have to feel tied down by it. I guarantee it.” “Wh-what good is…y-your guarantee…?” “Always ready with a comeback, even when you’re bawling your eyes out.” Alejandra smiled as Rusalka made the expected quip, even as she sobbed uncontrollably. He made no effort to comfort her. “” If the point of comforting her was to make her stop crying, then he knew he had made the right choice. Sometimes the tears just needed to flow. “Boss, can I get another pint?” “” “And another one for her, too.” He ordered another round for them both as Rusalka kept crying. And the bartender, who had been watching in silence, the only observer to their conversation, heaved a little sigh and then started pouring two more pints.
Chapter 12
43 min read