Akari stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face me.
“Hang on. He really said all that?”
“I mean, maybe in slightly less eloquent terms, but yeah. I specifically remember him asking me to keep an eye on your footing, ’cause he said you used to lose your balance and trip over things a lot. He definitely cared about you in his own way, that’s for sure.”
I remembered the encounter quite well, actually. Akito was already renowned for his baseball skills by that point—he was practicing with the junior-high team despite still being in elementary school, and even played pinch-hitter for the island’s amateur adult team. A local legend like him approaching me out of the blue to ask that kind of favor was a memorable surprise.
“But I guess that’s how older brothers are, y’know? Always looking out for their younger siblings, but they’re too proud to admit it, heh. Me and Eri are the same way. Sometimes it feels like all we ever do is bicker at each other! Hell, we got into a big argument within minutes of me coming home the other day,” I said, chuckling at my own pettiness. Then something struck me. Akari wasn’t laughing along. Her expression was, if anything, soberingly serious.
“My brother really said that about me…?” she asked, her voice shaky. Something was clearly not right here, but before I had a chance to ask what the problem was, she ran off toward the apartment complex as fast as she could.
“H-hey, wait! Where are you going?!” I yelled, frantically chasing after her. I managed to catch up right before she reached the stairs, grabbed her by the arm, and twisted her around to face me. “What the hell, Akari?! Why’d you run off like that all of a…”
My words caught in my throat when I saw that she was sobbing profusely.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry,” she whimpered.
A chill ran through my entire body, and I let go of her arm without a second’s delay. She dashed off up the stairs and into her apartment with animal speed, as though she was terrified of being seen like this and desperately wanted to escape from my gaze. Even after I heard the door slam above me, I stood there at the base of the stairs for a time, frozen in place.
After letting myself in through the back door, I crept up the stairs and slipped soundlessly into my bedroom, where I collapsed into bed without even changing out of my heavy clothes. I pulled the covers up all the way over my head to shut out the world. I should have been more than ready to turn in by this point, but sleep still eluded me. The image of Akari’s tear-soaked face was burning a hole in the back of my mind; I couldn’t shake it, no matter how hard I tried.
I had my guesses as to why she’d broken down like that, of course. We’d been talking at length about her newly deceased brother, and I’d just revealed to her an anecdote that showed a compassionate side of him she probably didn’t get to see very often. It made sense for her to get a little teary-eyed about that—and she probably only ran away from me because she didn’t want me to see her crying. So I knew, rationally, that it probably had nothing to do with anything I said or did…but it still felt like I’d hurt her feelings.
“Man, I’m a dumbass…”
I really shouldn’t have let Akito’s name come up in any capacity. Akari may have doubled down on the subject, but I was in the wrong for bringing him up in the first place. I decided to make a point of calling her tomorrow to apologize. Finished sorting through the last of my thoughts, exhaustion crept up on me like a thief in the night. I closed my eyes and drifted off into a deep and wakeless sleep.
I slept soundly all the way until noon. After dragging myself out of bed, I went downstairs and had lunch with Eri and my grandmother, then headed back up to my room. According to my alarm clock, it was past 1 p.m., and the date still read “April 5th” as expected. I sat down on my bed, pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, and gave Akari a call like I’d promised myself I would the night before. After redialing twice, then thrice, she finally picked up on my fourth attempt.
“Yes, hello?”
“Hey, it’s me. You got a minute?”
“Uhhh… Sure, what’s up? I can’t talk for very long, though. We’re running around getting things set up for the wake tonight.”
“Yeah, no worries. I’ll make it quick,” I assured her, then paused for a moment to gather my nerves. “So, I just wanted to say sorry about last night. I, uh…know I said some things that were probably pretty thoughtless, given what you’re already going through.”
“What? No, no—you didn’t do anything wrong, Kanae-kun. If anyone should be apologizing here, it’s me… Reminiscing about my brother like that was a little…too much for me to handle last night, that’s all.”
So my theory was right, then.
“Yeah, I getcha. It’s cool. How are you holding up today?”
“Oh, I feel way better after sleeping it off. It’s just…”
“Just what?”
I heard the sound of Akari swallowing her saliva on the other end.
“Sometimes, it just feels like my heart can’t take much more… That’s all.”