🌸🌸🌸
Intermission: Kazuya’s Take
“KAZUYA, you don’t seem to like me very much,” Luke points out, wiping spring water off his face.
I give an annoyed sigh. “Obviously. Don’t ask me why. You already know.”
Luke laughs apologetically. “Yeah, it’s to do with Sakurako.”
I say nothing. My hands prickle from the cool water when I dip them in the spring.
“You like her, too,” Luke mutters, cutting through my silence.
‘Too.’ That makes it clear he likes Sakurako. I knew, but it pangs me to hear him say it out loud. Eventually, I murmur, “Yeah. I’ve always loved her.” I clasp my hands together underwater. Like I’m squeezing it out—the words, and the coldness of the spring.
I’ve always loved her, and probably always will. But at this point, I’m certain it’s going to go nowhere.
“You two grew up together, didn’t you? I envy you.”
“No, it’s not actually a good thing.” I meant it. Countless times I’ve thought that if Sakurako and I had met some other way, she might’ve been more conscious that I’m a regular guy.
“Are you sure?” Luke says. “From what I see, I’m right to be envious. You’ve known her since she was little, so you’ve got a special bond that no one else can undermine.”
Even if that were the case—No, precisely because that’s the case, that bond is the reason I can’t change our relationship for the better. I mutter bitterly, “We’re too close. She doesn’t see me as anything more than a brother, and likely never will.”
Luke peers at me, his brow furrowed. “I doubt that.”
“I don’t. I have no chance.”
“How can you be so sure about that?”
“Because…I wished for that myself. I threw myself at her like a little kid, because I didn’t want to be left alone.”
If it wasn’t for the accident…the bus that killed Sakurako’s parents and mine…
As neighbors, we have been together since we were in diapers. Bubbly, cheerful, kind Sakurako was also unfathomably strong and clumsy, and I could never leave her alone. I was in love before I’d realized it. Naturally, she never picked up on my feelings, but I still thought the day would come when she’d understand how I felt. Because, before the accident, she didn’t used to treat me like a little brother. I figured that once I became a man worthy of her, I could confess how I long for her.
Until I cried to her.
She was unconscious, in critical condition, her face covered with a respirator in a bleak hospital room.
The bus we were all on together collided head-on with a drunk driver in a car. Both my parents and hers died instantly. I was the only one among us who was virtually unharmed. With my mom and dad ripped away from me, and terrified of losing even Sakurako, I begged her to stay, “Please don’t leave me. I’ve lost my whole family.”
Her eyes opened at once. She fumbled for my hand, turned her face slightly toward me, then spoke through the plastic mask. “I won’t leave you. I’m here. I’ll be your family.”
Her incredible recovery speed puzzled doctors, but they discharged her after a few weeks. After that she started treating me like a baby brother; I suspect because of how I’d appealed to her in that moment. She tried to become my stand-in family. From then on, no matter what I said, Sakurako stopped thinking of me as a potential partner. Which only makes sense, considering how I am.
Sakurako got hurt in the first place, while I made it out with nothing more than bruises and scratches because she protected me. I should’ve been the one to shield her, but in that split second, I was too scared to move. I didn’t know what was going to become of us, only for her to swoop in—
“Kazuya?” Luke interrupts, worried.
I lift my head and look him over. His face is so perfect, even a straight guy like me can tell he’s blessed. Plus, he’s genuinely nice. I’ve hung around him enough to know that. I know he’s serious about Sakurako and will take good care of her. On top of that, he’s strong. Strong enough to measure up to Sakurako. He has the strength I’ve always wanted… He’s way better suited to Sakurako than I am. If I really were Sakurako’s brother—not to be a dinosaur, but I’d probably be willing to entrust my sister to him.
I hate that. If he was a powerless womanizer, I wouldn’t step aside no way, no how, even if I thought he’d never back off.
Stop it.
Stop showing up out of the blue to take away what doesn’t even belong to me. Stop stealing the most important person in this world and any other from me.
“Why do you like Sakurako?” I spit out, trying to confine the hatred threatening to swallow me up. Despite my efforts, my words bear a hint of resentment.
“I don’t know how to answer that. From the moment our eyes met, I couldn’t look away. Every little thing she does is adorable and compels me. She helped my mother, and when she smiles, she’s more beautiful than anyone I’ve ever met. When she’s around, I want to protect her, so I find myself trying harder than usual.”
He wants to protect her? And he says it so casually, being in the dark about her phenomenal strength. I can’t help but snicker. What would he think if he knew she’s way stronger than him? Would he write her off as impertinent for hurting his pride? Would he lose interest?
“What’s wrong?” he asks with that handsome face of his, the type that Sakurako clearly likes, and which I therefore can’t stand.
“Look,” I begin without thinking. “If—and this is purely hypothetical—but if Sakurako weren’t as weak as you think, how would you take it?”
Luke holds his breath, confused.
Damn it. I know I’m being antagonistic, but the only reason I’m asking is because if he laughs off the possibility a girl could be stronger than him, or admits he’ll lose interest if Sakurako’s strong, then it’ll be a colossal weight off my shoulders.
Finally, Luke says, “Can she fight? Sometimes, she seems formidable like that, or something.”
I look up in surprise. I didn’t want him to ask that. “No, no, it’s hypothetical, I don’t mean anything by it.”
Luke continues, ignoring my blustering, “I think I’d still be attracted to her whether she was strong or not. I’ve never felt like this about a girl before, so I can’t say for certain, but I doubt my feelings would change that easily.”
I can’t help but avert my gaze from his sincere stare. “Even though the person you want to protect would be stronger than you?”
“Just because she’d be stronger than me wouldn’t stop me from protecting her. I want to protect her because she’s important. You think so, too, because you care about her, don’t you?”
I bite my lip. He’s exactly right. I keep trying to protect her, to the extent that I can. When she was struggling to maintain her dojo, I studied long hours to wrap my head around accounting, management, and law. I know that strength can’t guard against everything, and I want to protect Sakurako from whatever else may trip her up. Even since we came to this other world, I’ve been desperately trying to protect her so she won’t go hungry or feel lonely. “…That’s right.”
It took a newcomer spelling it out in black and white for me to remember that. Ugh, I’m so stupid.
Sakurako might like Luke already. If not yet, then I’m sure she’ll fall in love with him someday, because he’s a good guy.
“I said earlier that I like watching Sakurako, but there are times when it becomes painful, like when the two of you are acting close. Yeah… I am jealous of you.” Luke smiles sadly. Clearly he still doesn’t understand a thing about our relationship.
“Am I in your way?” I mutter, self-deprecating.
Luke’s eyes widen in surprise. “I’d be lying if I said no, but…I really want you to stay in our party.”
“To help defeat the Demon King? I’m telling you, I’m not cut out for fighting.”
“That’s not true. You may have low self-esteem for some reason, but your ability to fight is as good as any full-fledged adventurer’s. And I think having both of you will help us. I think we need you as much as we need Sakurako.”
“Is storage magic that useful?”
“Yes, but that’s not all. I enjoy practicing with you. This may sound strange, but I’ll just say it. I don’t have any friends my age, so I don’t know anyone else like you. It’s fun being with you, even if I get jealous sometimes. I can talk to you plainly, and we like the same girl, and I think we have a lot of things in common. I feel like we’ll get along really well. What do you think?” Luke asks straight-faced.
My head hangs and I stare at the ground, poisoned by secondhand embarrassment at his brazen confidence. He’s so self-assured; he’s the star of his own elite world. I thought guys like him were extinct in this day and age. Maybe they’re everywhere in this world.
“Yeah, I don’t think so. I don’t think I have much in common with someone who can be that cringe without batting an eyelid.”
“Did I say something odd?” Luke’s smile is so flawless, it enrages me.
No matter how handsome you are, no matter how nice you are, no matter how much Sakurako likes you…I still won’t step aside.
I don’t want to give up. One day, I’ll push things with Sakurako as far as I can take them. I feel that inevitability in my bones. But once I do, we won’t be able to go back to the way things were.
While I hate my position as her oldest and closest friend, I’m afraid of losing it. That’s exactly why I’ll always be a coward. That’s why someone like Luke will be able to take away the love of my life with ease. I know. I know every angle of my situation, from every direction.
Yet I still don’t have the guts to say, I love you.