Chapter 17

“How are things going on your end, Zariché?” “Exceedingly well, Margrave! By your leave, I’ve been able to make quite an impressive profit. And everything is proceeding as planned. ” Somewhere in the hidden village of the elves, Zariché Venomgarden was sitting at a tea table surrounded by poisonous-looking plants, in a large greenhouse that resembled a palace. She had thrown her white doctor’s gown to one side and was gracefully sipping her tea, a deep-purple concoction. The voice coming from the communications crystal placed on the table before her belonged to none other than Margrave Guugelheit. “I must say, that pollen you control certainly is something.” “Yes, indeed. There is no defense against my poisonous pollen. It is both colorless and odorless, and once dispersed through the air, it is impossible to avoid breathing it in. And when the conditions are just so, I can spread the pollen for hundreds of miles in every direction. ” Zariché cast her gaze around the greenhouse. The plant monsters she had raised emitted a noxious purple pollen that filled the air like a poisonous gas. This pollen would slowly sap the strength from anyone who inhaled it. She’d initially started spreading it just to see what would happen, and… My experiment was a huge success! Zariché scooped countless jewels up into her hands, entranced. Only the medicine she made could relieve the symptoms of those suffering from the pollen, and only temporarily. As a result, the elves in the village depended on her just to make it through the day. At this point, they toiled only to afford medicine—and handed all their wealth over to Zariché. But unbeknownst to them, the grim truth was that their money went right back into raising more noxious plants to spread more poisonous pollen. “None of this would have been possible without the funding and mana you provide me. I have no doubt that my pollen will benefit you as well, Margrave Guugelheit. ” “I-indeed. And so… Well… About that mana…” “…Is something the matter, Margrave?” “A-ah, n-no. Everything is fine… Please, keep up the good work. At this point, your plan is our only means to— Er, cough, cough, cough. In any event, that is all!” “Hmm…?” The margrave’s mumbling worried Zariché somewhat, but if everything was proceeding according to plan, then surely there would be no problem. “…Understood! All that I do, I do for you, Margrave Guugelheit! ” Soon after Zariché ended her communication, she burst into uncontrollable laughter. “…Hee-hee… Eee-hee-hee! Eeeee-hee-hee-hee-hee! ” She had completely dropped her doctor act. Grinning like a fool, she cruelly mocked the world around her. “Ahhh! Those precious, precious fools! Do those stuck-up nobles really think that they control me? I’m the only one in the entire world who can control this pollen! ” Zariché turned to gaze at a massive thorny stem growing in the center of the greenhouse. At its crown sprouted a single purple bud. This was Zariché’s secret weapon, which not even the Guugelheits knew about. The ultimate flower… The Queen’s Heart Rose. The moment the flower blossomed, Zariché would become queen of the world. The great elf queen, the proud Guugelheit family—all of them would become her servants. “Eee-hee-hee. This is only the beginning. First, I will take the elven throne for myself. And then—the world! I’ll become queen of it all! ” World domination—for years and years, that had been Zariché’s sole ambition. It was why she’d made a pact with outsiders and why she’d made the elves suffer. And it had all been worth it—her preparations were almost complete. Soon, the Queen’s Heart Rose would blossom. But first… “Oh dear, oh dear. I almost forgot—it’s time for everyone’s medicine. My, my, the work of a Savior is never done! ” Zariché cackled as she donned her white doctor’s gown. Then she grabbed her medicine box and left the greenhouse. Countless elves were surely waiting for her medicine. They knew nothing of her ambitions. They had even called her their savior. They offered her everything they had for a taste of her medicine. Watching them beg was Zariché’s favorite time of day. That day, too, she would indulge herself with their supplications. Or so she’d thought. “………What?” The moment Zariché stepped out of her greenhouse, she was met with an unbelievable sight. “Cheeeers!” “Thank you, O Savior!” “All hail the true Savior!” “Drink, drink as much as you want! We’ll never pay for that absurdly expensive medicine again!” The elves of the village were throwing a big party. Everyone was holding wooden tankards full of liquid and cheerfully celebrating. Wh-wh-wh…whaaaaaaaaaaat?! There was no way anyone who had inhaled her poisonous pollen could be moving so freely and vigorously. No one knew that better than Zariché, for she had designed it herself. Wh-what is all this…?! A panicked Zariché pushed her way through the crowd of elves. And standing in the middle of that crowd, she found… Th-that child…?! It was the same absent-minded-looking girl Zariché had seen earlier in the queen’s bedroom. Back when Zariché first spotted her, the girl had about as much presence as a gaseous vapor. Now, however, she wore a sash emblazoned with the word savior and scratched her head bashfully as the other elves doted on her. In front of her was a cauldron full of bubbling green liquid. “There is still plenty of medicine to go around! We have enough for everyone, so step forward! Don’t be shy!” “Let us toast to the recovery of our people,” called the elven queen, “and to the Savior who has blessed our village with her presence! Come, everyone! Drink! Be merry!” “““Hip, hip, hooray!””” The one pouring this supposed medicine into the elves’ cups was none other than Princess Elna. And standing beside her, looking healthy as could be, was Queen Ellhar. Medicine…?! Don’t tell me—! Zariché suddenly realized what the elves had in their tankards—they were imbibing Elven Nostrum. Wh-wh-wh…whaaaaaaaaaaat?! Despite her ruse, Zariché was a doctor of the apothecarial arts. She knew better than anyone that brewing such a large batch of Elven Nostrum was unthinkable. Its main ingredient, Phantom Leaf, was far too rare. Zariché was unable to process the situation. Why…?! Why, why, why, why, why, whyyyyy?! Th-this makes no sense! My…my plan! It was impeccable in every way! Earlier this very day, everyone was sick with my poison. They treated me as their Savior. And now…! What could have happened to change the situation so drastically in only a few short hours? The scene before her was so incomprehensible that Zariché thought she was having a nightmare. That girl they call the Savior… She can’t possibly have…? No! Impossible. Inconceivable! She’s nothing but a weak little girl. She didn’t even come bearing the symbol of the Savior, the Staff of World Tree. I was certain Princess Elna had simply found some human apothecary… A flurry of thoughts rushed through Zariché’s mind. And before she knew it, all the elves’ gazes were trained on her. Wh-what is this…? Their expressions were not the usual ones of respect and admiration. Their eyes, aimed straight at Zariché, were full of rage and resentment. “Hey… She’s here. The one who poisoned us.” “She made us all sick using her pollen, right?” “I thought something was off about the whole thing. She came up with medicine for the illness awfully quick…” “Create the problem and sell the solution, huh…?” “This con artist robbed us of our fortunes…” The elves continued to murmur among themselves. It seemed the nostrum was the least of Zariché’s worries. Her plan had been laid bare. H-how…?! Hoooooowwwww?! Too many things were happening all at once. Zariché thought she would go mad. But this was no time to fall into confusion. Looking around, she realized that the elves had pointed their bows and staves directly at her. Staying any longer would be dangerous. “Ngh! Dammit!” She smashed a vial against the ground, and with a poof, a smoke screen enveloped the area. The smoke, which was filled with a paralyzing pollen, brought the elves to their knees. “Guh… Can’t…move…!” “It’s just as the Savior said! She’s the one who caused the illness!” “That no-good— Where’d she go?!” “Search the area! We can’t allow her to escape!” “Eee…eeeek…!” Zariché, her face twisted in fear, made a panicked dash for the greenhouse. In her rush, she flung her medicine box to the ground and ripped off the white robe she was wearing so quickly that it tore. Meanwhile, Lorna had been standing by watching the commotion. “Are you certain we should allow Zariché to escape…?” the queen asked with some concern. “Yes,” Lorna said casually. “We don’t have what we need to deal with her just yet.” It would be great if the elves managed to apprehend her, but…according to the internet, defeating Zariché without some means of preventing status ailments would be no easy task. Worse, if cornered, she might unleash her trump card. And so the elves gave up pursuit, just as Lorna had instructed. Instead, they set about putting her plan into action. “This plan of yours… It involves the nostrum?” asked the queen. “In a way, yes.” Lorna continued to stir the cauldron of Elven Nostrum as she answered. “We’ve more nostrum than we could possibly need… Are you certain you should be using so much MP?” “Don’t worry about that. I’ve got plenty left. Besides, I should be just about done.” “…?” At that very moment, something happened. SKILL UP! Alchemy IV Alchemy V Accessories can now be crafted with Alchemy! “Okay, ready! ” The words Lorna had been waiting for appeared before her eyes. It had worked just as the internet said it would: To level one’s Alchemy skill, all one had to do was continue to use their MP on Alchemy. Luckily, Lorna had a practically limitless pool of MP to draw from, and Elven Nostrum required a ton of it to craft. It was essentially the perfect environment for boosting her level. And now…we finally have a way to deal with status ailments. Alchemy V enabled Lorna to craft accessories. And apparently, those accessories were necessary to safely battle Zariché. Lorna threw a bunch of cloth and cotton—the necessary crafting ingredients—into the cauldron. “Alchemy!” Then—poof—a puff of smoke shot up from the cauldron. “Wha—?!” Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop! Countless stuffed dolls began to appear. The alchemical recipe Lorna found on the internet had been a success—she had crafted Substitute Dolls. Equipment (Accessories): Substitute Doll Rank: F Type: Accessory Price: 2,000 shil Effect: Takes damage for the user a single time (Substitute Doll is destroyed after one use). Details: Despite its low rank, the Substitute Doll is a very broken accessory. Its most famous application is trivializing the side quest, The Toxic Ambitions of Dr. Zariché. But with effective equip swapping, this accessory is incredibly useful for even Hard mode bosses. Also, despite the in-game description stating that the doll takes damage for the user only a single time… Apparently, these things were really good for dealing with Zariché. But something about them bothered Lorna… “Uh… Why do these things look like me?” For whatever reason, the Substitute Dolls had come out of the cauldron looking like tiny cartoonish versions of Lorna. Without realizing it, she had created an army of Lorna plushies. “Oh my goodness! Stuffed Saviors! They’re…they’re…simply adorable!” “U-um… You really think so?” Elna seemed to love the dolls. G-great. Now I’m some kind of weirdo who crafted a bunch of dolls in her own likeness… Lorna didn’t know how to feel about this turn of events. “Savior, what of these dolls…?” asked the queen. “Um, well… These are called Substitute Dolls. They’re equipment that takes damage in your place… I guess they’re kind of like amulets of protection… If you wear one, it’ll keep you safe from the poisonous pollen. So please, hand them out to everyone.” “These Savior dolls… Are they truly capable of something so miraculous…? O Savior! You’re incredible!” “Hmm, I see… They must be sacred icons. We must enshrine them at once!” “Um, actually, if you don’t equip them, they won’t do anything,” said Lorna. “But if we do that, they will take the brunt of any assault and be ruined!” “Right, but that’s what they’re for. Get it?” This group of elves were intent on wasting time worshipping the dolls. But they weren’t the only ones who seemed to have misunderstood. “Wha—? Whoa! I knocked over the pot of stew, look out!” “Oh no! The Savior dolls! They’ll be ruined by the hot stew!” “I won’t let that happen! Hup! Gyaaaaaaaah!” For some reason, another group of elves was putting themselves in harm’s way to protect the dolls. “You’re… You’ve got it all backward…” This nonsense was beginning to give Lorna a headache. But whatever the case, her preparations were now complete. “All right, well, I’m going to head off for a little bit. Oh, and don’t stop the party on my account.” “…Wherever are you going, O Savior?” “I’m just gonna go put an end to Zariché’s ambitions.” ““…………Huh?”” And so Lorna headed for Zariché’s greenhouse, humming a little tune as she went.