Chapter 13

Shortly after she parted ways with Reinharte, Lorna was flying through the sky on wings of light, headed for Ipple Woods. “What’s that up in the sky? A new type of monster?” “Whatever it is, it’s fast!” “Isn’t that the new girl, Lorna Hermit? Everyone’s talking about her.” “I never knew there was a skill that let you fly through the air…” Lorna was soaring over a grassy plain, giving the adventurers below a perfect view of her. They all watched in amazement, but Lorna was too high above them to notice. Eventually, she alighted in the woods. “Phew.” Lorna sighed, deactivating her wings of light. And within seconds… “G-guh…gonna be sick…” She reached up and held a hand over her mouth. Her face was ghostly pale as an intense nausea overtook her. It felt like when she got sick from riding in a carriage. She still wasn’t used to flying, clearly. Traveling through the sky is handy and all, but…I should really try to figure out how to keep steady while I’m up there… But after a short rest, she was ready to go again. “Okay! Time to gather some medicinal herbs!” Lorna was ready to get down to business and start harvesting. Despite being a lot of work, gathering herbs wasn’t seen as a very rewarding endeavor. For that reason, few adventurers were willing to bother with such quests. “Wha—? Gathering medicinal herbs…? I can’t say there’s much money to be made there… Wh-what exactly are you planning…?” Elmina had seemed doubtful when Lorna volunteered to take the quest. But as long as I’ve got the internet, I’ll be able to find all the best gathering spots… Of course, Lorna was only looking for one specific type of herb. She popped open the internet and let it guide her to the nearest spot. And after a bit of searching… “Here’s one!” …she found a single medicinal herb growing out of the ground. This was the same place where she had stumbled upon some Phantom Leafs before fighting the Lord of the Woods. Item: Phantom Leaf Type: Material Price: 50,000 shil Effect: None Details: A rare medicinal herb from the Magic Forest that grows in very small quantities. Can be used as a material in high-grade healing items such as Elixirs and Elven Nostrum. Also used as an event item in the side quest, The Toxic Ambitions of Dr. Zariché. Heh… Heh-heh-heh… If I collect a bunch of these, I’ll make a ton of money! Lorna was grinning like a fool. She had found out how to make a bundle on them only the night before. After clearing the dungeon, she’d retired to an inn and was playing around on the internet. That dragon was pretty dangerous… I should really do more research before I jump into danger so I can keep a calm head in the moment… And so Lorna began to do a bit more research into the world around her. Huh… According to this, “Adventurers exploring ruins the world over have accidentally caused the king of an ancient magical civilization to be resurrected along with his army of demons. Even now, their schemes for world domination are underway.” That sounds really bad… I feel like someone should probably do something about it. But wow, there’s just so much I don’t know about the world. I wish I could ask someone about some of this stuff… Wait, hold on. That was when Lorna first noticed it. Is this what I think it is…? It looks like I can post comments here, too. Internet comment sections were the gathering places of the gods. And that meant that if Lorna posted her own question…she could tap directly into their divine power. Essentially, she could cheat. I-if the church ever found out that I have a direct line to the gods…things could get weird. They might try to worship me as a saint or something. Looks like I’ve discovered another facet of the internet’s fearsome power… But right now, Lorna needed to draw upon that power. There was simply too much about the world she didn’t know. I-is it really all right for me to just ask the gods a question, though…? She wasn’t sure if they would even bother responding to the pitiful concerns of a tiny human like her. She anxiously rolled the idea around in her mind until, twenty minutes later, she’d more or less put her thoughts in order. “I…wonder if what I’ve written is okay. Ngh… Actually, wait. Forget it. I shouldn’t. But then again, I’ve already written everything out, so… A-all right, here I gooo!” Lorna steeled her resolve and pressed the POST button. With a click, the screen transitioned to the comment section. Her question had been added at the bottom. Discussion (67 comments) #67: im lorna im in aiphone now and i need money. is there a good way to makes ome? “I… I did it. I asked the gods a question,” she said with an anxious gulp. There was no turning back now. I hope I wasn’t accidentally rude or anything. What am I going to do if I’ve offended them…? And I asked them how to make money, of all things…! Oh boy, I’m so nervous… All sorts of anxieties filled Lorna’s mind. Her heart was pounding. She stared at the screen for a few minutes, and… “Oh! I got some responses already!” She refreshed the screen and found that a number of new comments had appeared. She was sure the responses would be full of divine wisdom to guide her path forward. Nervously, she scrolled down to read them. And this is what she saw: Discussion (68 comments) #68: Anonymous Partier First, take your clothes off. “Wh-whaaaat?!” Discussion (69 comments) #69: Anonymous NIGHT moar! MOAR!! “What does that even mean?!” Discussion (70 comments) #70: Anonymous Otaku To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Etalia. The battles are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the mechanics will go over a typical player’s head. There’s also Lucia’s outlook, which is deftly woven into her characterization- her personal philosophy draws heavily from Dan Simmons’s literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of the game, to realize that it’s not just fun- it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Etalia truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humor in Elmina’s existential catchphrase “live the elite lifestyle,” which itself is a reference to post-Eva metafiction. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as the developers’ genius wit unfolds itself on their screens. What fools… How I pity them lolololol “…………………Huh.” Lorna turned away from the screen. “Whatever the gods are thinking, it’s clearly way over my head. Their speech sounds like something out of a higher dimension… That last one even had what looked like a curse at the end…” Lorna was starting to worry she wouldn’t get any information she could actually use. Until… Discussion (71 comments) #71: Anonymous Swordsman Y’all seriously need to log off smh. You sound like you’re new, im lorna. If you need to make some cash, you should go to the Ipple Woods and duplicate some Phantom Leafs. “Duplicate?” And that was how a kindly god taught Lorna a way to gather an unlimited number of medicinal herbs. She had a hard time believing it was possible to duplicate an herb an unlimited number of times, of course. But then again, the internet had never lied before. So she figured this, too, must be the truth. “Okay!” With that, Lorna turned to face the Phantom Leaf. “First, I give the leaf some water with a watering can. This makes it ‘gatherable.’ Then I pick only the leaves, making sure not to cut the root. As long as I leave the root alone, the herb will have one HP left. And then”—Lorna pointed her staff at the plant—“Petit Heal!” Boi-oing! Another herb sprouted from the ground. “Wh-whoa… It really worked. I can grow as many as I want like this.” Using this process on a common herb wouldn’t be worth the MP consumption required. In fact, it might end up costing more money than it made. But when applied to a high-value item like the Phantom Leaf, the return on her investment would be high enough to justify the effort. And with the Staff of World Tree, Lorna didn’t need to worry about running out of MP. “Heh… Heh-heh-heh-heh… It’s like there’s money growing right out of the ground…”