“Karen!” I cried out for the umpteenth time, my voice raw and hoarse as it squeezed past my dry throat. Yet I would keep calling her name until I found her. No matter what happened, I refused to rest my legs until she and I were reunited.
Was I sure I was doing the right thing?
Wasn’t there anything better I could be doing with my life?
Was this all going to end up being an even bigger waste of time when I finally did throw in the towel?
I tried my best not to give questions like these much thought. Obviously, I was scared out of my mind by the possibilities, but I refused to think about them. Or when I did, I fought hard not to give in to those fears. Nobody’s future was certain, after all. We were all just running, groping through the dark as time and death slowly crept up on us. I wasn’t the only one afraid of that uncertainty. The same could be said for Anzu, or Koharu, or anyone. All we could do was keep moving forward, holding fast to the belief that one day, we’d get where we were going—before the world snatched it away from us. So I downed the rest of my water in one gulp and kept walking, dragging my feet along the floor.
TOTAL TIME ELAPSED: 14 HRS 20 MINS (OUTSIDE: 3 YEARS, 338 DAYS)
I made my way up yet another steep incline. I couldn’t see in front of me anymore, and I was practically crawling with how sluggishly I was dragging my legs. I’d discarded all the things I’d brought with me—I’d even thrown away my shoes. Turning back now was no longer an option I was willing to consider.
“Grrrgh…”
I couldn’t remember how long I’d been climbing this hill, just that it had been going on for what felt like ages. No doubt it was the longest uphill trek I’d ever made in my entire life.
“Argh…”
God, this was excruciating. My entire body ached with exhaustion, and my legs had been reduced to two mushy hunks of tenderized flesh only capable of sending out distress signals to my pain receptors with every step. My eyelids were starting to feel heavy too. I needed sleep. I wanted to stop and take a rest. I was sure that lying down would help me recover a bit and give me a much-needed break from this endless incline.
I couldn’t let myself do that. I knew that if I lay down, there was a good chance I’d never get back up. I had to press on and make it to the top of this damn hill…
…Then again, what if I gave up? I mean, this seemed downright impossible, and I was approaching my limit. No, that was a lie: I’d long since passed it. I was using every trick in the book to keep my mind off the pain, and somehow it had worked thus far. However, even if I were to find Karen now, there wouldn’t really be any point to it. I lacked the least sliver of willpower or stamina to make the journey home.
God, I’m so tired.
Maybe I ought to give up.
…But first.
Let’s go a little farther.
Just in case.
I’ll keep walking just a little longer, and if I don’t find anything, I’ll give up.
Just a little farther.
Just a little farther.
Just a…little…farther…
I stopped dead in my tracks. Not because my legs had finally gone on strike, but because something stood directly in my way. Lifting my weary head to take a look, I saw an old wooden door. My heart let out an audible ka-thump. A surge of renewed hope shot through my chest. This was the first time I’d run into a roadblock or dead end of any sort in the tunnel. Karen could very well be just behind this door. Although if she wasn’t, and all that awaited me on the other side was yet another uphill climb… No, I didn’t want to consider the possibility. I decided right then and there to make this door the endpoint of my journey. If my little sister wasn’t behind it, then I’d stop and take a rest. Gripping the iron handle, I leaned all my weight on the door in an attempt to push it open, since my muscles lacked the strength to do so on their own.
“Ngh!”
As soon as the door swung open, my legs gave out from under me, and I collapsed forward, my forehead slamming against the ground. Yet it didn’t hurt, because my fall was cushioned by a soft, shimmering blanket of sand.
“What…?”
The sand was warm against my face, and I felt rays of sunlight streaming down my cheeks. Had I finally made it outside? Lifting my head, I got a big whiff of salt and brine as a gust of wind blew by, sending my bangs fluttering in the breeze. Impossible though it seemed, I found myself lying facedown on a white sandy beach with an endless ocean spread out before my eyes, its waters the deepest of blues, yet crystal clear all the way to the horizon.
I sat up on my knees and looked behind me. An old, dilapidated cabin gazed listlessly over the shore, its front door made from the same weathered wood as the one I’d stumbled out of. Yet there was no tunnel behind the cabin, only a grassy meadow covered in lush new greenery. I paid it little mind. Whatever part of my brain was responsible for making sense of things had long since gone into a state of numb paralysis. Right now, the only thing that mattered to me was whether my sister was here. Squeezing every last drop of remaining energy from the tattered old dishrag my body had become, I called her name at the top of my lungs.
“Karen!”
Over heeere, I heard a lackadaisical voice call back.
I turned my head in the direction the reply had come from.
A girl was standing right there on the beach. Her ponytail dangled out from the back of her baseball cap. Her loose-fitting tank top hung halfway down over her denim shorts. Her bright red sandals were half-buried in the flowing golden sand.
It was her. It was Karen.
“You finally made it, Kaoru,” she said with a smile that could outshine a thousand stars.
All at once, my body went limp and my vision grew dark as my mind finally released its tenuous grip on consciousness.
I was in the midst of a peaceful sleep. As I lay on my back, a gentle breeze blew against my body, its angle shifting to and fro in a slow, methodical pattern as the tiny motor on the oscillating fan hummed softly. A futon was rolled out beneath me. When I tried to turn my head slightly, I heard the chaff of the buckwheat seeds inside my pillow shift and scrape against one another. The sweet, earthy scent of the tatami mats under my body soothed my nostrils. It felt like I was sinking slowly into a thick, viscous pool of liquid comfort. I felt all my exhaustion, all my stress being purged from my body by those purifying waters. I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I wanted to lie there and sleep forever… And honestly, why shouldn’t I be allowed to do that? I’d been busting my ass for so long that surely no one would think less of me for that. Man, the breeze from that fan feels nice… Wait. What was I busting my ass for, again?