Chapter 4
The throng of men moved like shadows under the dim lights on the dance floor. Some grinded against each other as if imitating sex. There was a square boxing ring that stood out sorely in the middle of the spacious room, and the white mat seemed to glow faintly.
Matches were conducted occasionally, and on those nights the floor teemed with crazed cheers for both sides. But now the floor was simply immersed in the strains of a slow ballad by Bon Jovi. The men in the room were occupied with only one purpose - to find a companion for the night.
The club was called Guys, and it was where people gathered for relations with no strings attached. Kisaragi had been a regular for nearly ten years now.
Gays who sought an emotional connection eventually began to feel unsatisfied and drifted somewhere else. Those who kept on coming back were those who came with the purpose of having sex, and that aligned with Kisaragi’s own purposes, too.
They would signal to each other with their eyes, making barely any conversation, and would vent their pent-up sexual energy in a small room on the second floor. The room was bare. With nothing but a sofa and a sink, it was only slightly better than a toilet. Some people chose to go to a hotel rather than put up with the appalling conditions, but Kisaragi always turned down such offers to be “taken out”.
Once the deed was done, he would return to the first floor. If he felt like it, he searched for someone else. Sometimes he would go straight home to his condo instead.
It was Kisaragi’s custom to visit Guys about twice a month. On this day, he took his time sipping a shot on the rocks.
It was widely known here that sex with Kisaragi was brittle and lacking in warmth. Although Kisaragi’s face was hard to resist for many men, he was seldom propositioned because of this fact. Newcomers always got hooked on him once, but often stopped making offers after a few times in bed because of Kisaragi’s lack of affection.
This aligned perfectly with Kisaragi’s own objectives. It was also why he had taken a liking to this club.
Eventually a man in a suit took a seat beside him. “Long time no see,” he said. Kisaragi stared up at his face, vaguely remembering that the man had called himself Jiro once. They had slept together two or three times. The sex was mediocre.
“Yu, right? Care for one?”
“Sure,” Kisaragi nodded, moving away from the counter. Once they entered the room, Jiro was quick to make his move.
“Put on a condom,” Kisaragi said.
Jiro shook his head as if in exasperation, and headed toward the vending machine beside the sink. Since the condom was coated in jelly, they were able to begin the act immediately. Everything about it seemed like cheap fast food.
Once Jiro had put on the condom, he proceeded to pin Kisaragi on the sofa and insert himself.
“Funny, isn’t it, even though you’re so hot down here. You know people call you the ice queen?”
Kisaragi did not answer as he felt the thickness of the thing within him. He stared at the fluorescent light on the ceiling, unremarkable like any other.
“How is it, Yu? Am I good?” Jiro moaned as he moved his hips. When he brought his face closer for a kiss, Kisaragi blocked him with his palm.
“Same as always, huh, Yu? But I actually like it like that.” Jiro grinned as he began to rub Kisaragi’s member. “I can see that this here isn’t connected to your heart.”
“I don’t like to be chatty. Shut up and move.”
“Fine,” Jiro said, smiling widely again, gyrating his hips in large motions. “Coming right up, princess.”
Once he felt his temperature rise, Kisaragi finally closed his eyes.
You have no carnal instinct.
Kisaragi suddenly heard the words at his ear - words he had heard long ago. His body twitched. Jiro grunted on top of him.
“Don’t squeeze me like that, Yu!”
His words did not reach Kisaragi, who was envisioning the face of the man he had parted with earlier.
“Don’t you have any impulses?” Hasunuma had asked him, one night over some drinks.
Of course I do.
It was true. One only needed to peel back a thin layer to reveal the writhing desire beneath. That’s why I’m having this kind of sex. I rid myself of my desires so that I don’t direct any at you. When it builds up, I let it out. That’s it. I vent before it starts to seep through. Just like this. Mechanical.
Kisaragi clenched the stiff desire that moved within him, trying to get a grasp of it.
“Ahh, Yu, it’s so good! I can feel it - you’re unbelievable-“ Jiro continued to vocalize noisily as he repeated his pistons. Kisaragi closed his eyes as he waited for the moment to arrive.
He let out a quiet noise as he released himself.
“Yu, Yu, ah, it’s so good!” Moments later, Jiro also released himself as he collapsed on top of Kisaragi. As he lay there breathing raggedly, Kisaragi pushed him off roughly.
“Get off of me.”
Jiro heaved a sigh as he proceeded to pull out. His member was still half-erect as he pulled the condom off and tossed it into the garbage bin. He looked sadly at Kisaragi, who was pulling his pants on.
“Aloof as always, aren’t you?” he said.
“Yes.” Kisaragi looked coolly at Jiro.
After that, Kisaragi allowed two more men to straddle him that night. Although he had only climaxed once, he decided to wrap it up and leave.
As he stepped outside of the club, the Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden located across sprawled before his eyes, with its black cluster of trees and surrounding walls. Although the club was classified as being on Shinjuku Ni-Chome, the building which housed the club was actually located physically apart from Shinuku Ni-Chome, on the south side of Meijidori. Kisaragi was always greeted with the barren sight after he had finished his business in the club. He sneered inwardly at himself, as he always did, at the way it seemed to reflect his inner soul.
Without anywhere to go in particular, Kisaragi headed toward Shinjuku Station.