Chapter 13
It was snowing in Niigata.
Kisaragi remained blindfolded as he switched cars three times along the way from Tokyo. He was ultimately taken to a warehouse on the Port of Niigata.
He was taken to a basement room. Under the dim lights, he could see blankets laid between cardboard, and Kanesaki listening to the radio.
“Why did you come?” said the man, standing up when he saw Kisaragi. Kisaragi embraced the man without saying anything. Bewilderment crossed Kanesaki’s face, as well as that of the man who had brought him here.
“I didn’t know you could be so passionate, doctor.”
Despite his words, Kanesaki was equally quick to act, not even waiting for the guide to leave the room before pushing Kisaragi down on the floor. His hands frantically sought physical contact, his breathing already heavy. Kisaragi’s back ached being pressed down on the thin blanket barely cushioning the hard concrete underneath. But he didn’t care as he moved vigorously on his own.
They caught each other’s breaths and devoured each other’s flesh. Before Kisaragi knew it, he was moaning.
Kanesaki did not speak a word as he continued to push Kisaragi toward the edge. Even after the man had released himself, Kanesaki changed positions and started again.
Eventually, he climbed off of Kisaragi’s limp body and snatched a bottled drink that was close by.
“Drink it,” he said.
When the moisture had finally returned to Kisaragi’s parched throat, he spoke.
“Why?”
“Well… it would be a long story.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Kisaragi took another gulp before looking up at Kanesaki, who had been providing his arm as a pillow. “Why didn’t you say anything when we were… you know… doing it? You always talk through the whole thing.”
Kanesaki threw his head back as he laughed.
“Oh, that’s what you meant. To tell you the truth, I always used to talk to hold myself off longer before I[m1] came. I wanted to see you enjoying it for as long as I could.”
He caught Kisaragi’s chin with his stout fingers. “I just couldn’t hold myself back today to do that.” Their lips touched as they devoured each other’s tongues. Kanesaki overlapped his body over Kisaragi’s again.
“Do you have to go?” Kisaragi said breathlessly as he was penetrated again. “Why…?”
Kanesaki gently stroked Kisaragi’s belly with the palm of his hand.
“Aren’t you angry that I used you?”
Kisaragi shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.” The only interest he had was for the man in front of him. Once they had spent all of their bodily fluids, the man took Kisaragi into his arms.
“I thought I’d abandoned that country. But half of my heart still seems to be over there.” He wanted to know the whereabouts of his father and brother. That was why he had come to Japan to make money: money gave him limitless power. He could buy information with money.
At the very least, he wanted to know if they were alive or dead. He used Arima’s connections with Russia to stretch feelers into the North.
He was told that his father and brother were alive, and he continued to send money. He even lent a hand to illegal money transfers. He had been told that his family would be able to survive as long as he continued to send money.
But it had been a lie.
“I sneaked into the North from Russia on my last trip. That’s when I learned the truth.”
His father had died shortly after being abducted. His older brother had been manipulated by false information and been put into a concentration camp.
“I was essentially helping support their system.”
“And why did you go up North…?”
Kanesaki stroked Kisaragi’s head. “I at least wanted to see where they’d died. There was an underground organization. I decided to help. That way, my home country could be unified as one.”
Kisaragi felt himself choke up and buried his face in the man’s chest. “Is there anything I can do?”
Kanesaki hooked a finger underneath Kisaragi’s chin and made him look up. “I’ll be leaving half of my heart here. So keep it for me.”
“Until you come back?”
“Until I come back.”
“You’re lying.”
Kanesaki wiped the edge of Kisaragi’s eye. “If that’s what you think.”
They did not exchange any other words. The two sought each other until the very last moment. Kisaragi came close to losing consciousness from the intoxication and pain. He felt like they were two animals eating each other alive.
Three days later, the ship arrived to take the man away. The man left the shores, bound for the land on the other side of the sea.