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ONCE back at the tents, Stern dragged me into a covered supply wagon.
“On your knees,” he ordered, like a king would a servant. I dejectedly knelt. “I’m sure this isn’t your first campaign, but you seem unaware, so I’m going to warn you anyway.” Stern grabbed me by the shoulders. It hurt, but I didn’t say anything. His gaze meant business. “Places like this are breeding grounds for homosexuality. Don’t spark the flame.”
“Homosexuality? Ah, yes, hear it all the time,” I said casually.
Stern sighed. “You don’t know what that means, do you?”
“It’s when two men form a romantic relationship.”
“Yes, and what do people in romantic relationships do? They kiss, sleep together naked, they—” Stern noticed my blush. “Called it!”
“I’m not sparking anything!”
“Yes you are. Have some self-awareness.” Stern stared at me, serious.
Why’s he acting so weird?
“Earlier it looked like you and Felzen were kissing. Onlookers’ll think you’re open to that kind of thing.”
“But we weren’t.”
“I get it, but think of it this way.” His hands slid up my neck and across my cheeks, his thumbs coming to rest in front of my ears. A shiver ran down my spine. The sensation was new to me. My face boiled over. I could hardly breathe. “If you were Felzen’s little plaything, everyone would back off immediately, but you’re not. Your apparent, unrequited love for the womanizer extraordinaire might be seen as a chance to strike for some.”
“You’re overthink—”
Stern’s hands traced down my cheeks, his fingertips landing delicately on my lips, encouraging me to shut up. Their warmth embarrassed me. “I’m worried for you, simple as that. How about this—if the thought of being pursued troubles you so, then pretend you belong to me, at least while we’re on assignment.”
By “pretend to belong to him” does he mean act like we’re dating?
Stern drew circles around my mouth. His face inched closer and closer, our noses about to touch. I felt too mortified to even breathe. No.
“Stop it. You’re being weird,” I blurted out, fixing him with an angry glare.
“Am I not good enough for you?” Stern’s fingers stilled, his eyes narrowing as he gave me a cold smile.
How devilish for someone so angel-like!
“That’s not the issue. Do you really think I’d just use you like that? How poorly do you think of me?” That sort of pretense might ruin our friendship. Besides, this won’t be my last time in the field. I have to look out for myself like everyone else. Why should I be the only one who gets to coast by with lies?
Stern stiffened, slowly removing his hand. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“It’s okay, I know you meant well in your own way, even if I can’t begin to understand it.”
“The miasma’s influence can make people do things they normally wouldn’t. I didn’t want you to fall victim to someone, even if it meant my being used,” Stern said unhappily.
I sighed. “While I may be no match for you, I can fend for myself just fine. If you’re still worried, just know that I’ll call for help at the first sign of danger. I trust you’ll come to my rescue.”
“I will.”
“Thanks for your concern.”
Stern chuckled, offering me his hand. I took it, getting back to my feet with a wince. “Oof, feet went numb.”
“Sorry.” His apology sounded so forced it made me laugh.
When I wobbled, Stern propped me up, and the size of his hand pressed against my back startled me. I realized I had to tilt my head up to see his face. When did he get so big? My heartbeat stuttered as an obvious reality finally registered emotionally.
“Whew. You went so hard on me!” I said aloud to myself in an attempt to drown out the thudding of my heart as I exited the wagon.