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AFTER that, Hana and Leon began meeting in secret at night in the herb garden.
In the beginning, they hadn’t specified a time, but just knew as a matter of course that the other would be waiting there. If it rained, then they would meet the day after. This unspoken rule was how the lovers were able to be together.
They kept up appearances during the day. Leon would only look upon Hana with a sullen expression. But at night, they clung to each other, unleashing every ounce of emotion they had withheld during the day. Leon couldn’t see Hana’s face in the pale moonlight. But thanks to her impeccable night vision, she could see his gentle expression all too well. His words, deeds, expressions; everything about him was kinder at night.
Over the next half a year, Hana had two more episodes, both times leaving her comatose. She was so overcome by thirst that she became unable to move. She was sure that if she were able to drink Leon’s blood, she might come around.
The day after each episode, she would feel fine. Her thirst abated and she found she could move once again.
It was at that point that she learned she just needed to wait for the desire to pass. Or perhaps waiting it out was just her excuse to continue her secret meetings with Leon.
She did nothing more than hold Leon’s hand when they were together. After all, Leon was not Hana’s fiancé. Perhaps that was why the thirst abated. She did not want to betray her parents or Walt.
That was the excuse she repeated over and over again in her mind.
Whenever Hana went out to the sort of social gatherings befitting the daughter of a wealthy merchant with close ties to the nobility, it was always Walt who accompanied her.
Her parents and Walt would never force her into anything. Because they all only had the best of intentions, and because she loved them so, she refused to do anything to disrupt their plans for her.
The nights she went out with Walt, her heart was racked with guilt. Perhaps she should have stopped seeing Leon then and there, but she couldn’t keep away.
Just once more.
Just through the rest of autumn.
Just until I turn seventeen…
Hana was still telling herself these lies as they began to spend their first winter together.
“Aren’t you cold, Leon?”
Hylantian winters were frigid. Even though no snow had fallen, when night fell, it was as if the air itself froze over. Hana could still feel it even though she was bundled up in a wool coat and gloves. In Leon’s threadbare clothing, he must have been freezing.
“Of course I am.”
“I’m sorry. You’re out here because of me.”
Hana came from a wealthy family; she could have whatever she wanted. But she had never even considered buying Leon a decent coat.
“I wouldn’t be out here if I didn’t want to be… Here, this should warm me up.”
Leon put his hands on Hana’s cheeks. The stinging chill of his touch didn’t last and soon, they were sharing their warmth. They leaned in closer to the other.
“Yes. Same for me.”
The feeling of his hands on her cheeks gave her strength. His eyes were so intense, Hana could tell exactly what he was planning to do, and closed her eyes.
Leon clumsily pulled Hana close and kissed her gently.
Their lips barely touched. But Hana was so happy, she could feel a heat building in her eyes. As tears began to roll down her cheeks, Leon pulled away from her lips and planted a kiss on her cheek, as if trying to dry her tears.
“…Come with me?” Leon was acting so strange tonight. Hana didn’t know how to respond. “Let’s run away and live together. We’ll be poor. I have money saved up, but it’s not enough to create the sort of life you’re used to. But as long as we can be together, that’s all I need…”
His eyes were intense. She could see he wasn’t joking.
Her family, or him. Hana would have to choose.
Hana might have been brought up in the lap of luxury, but she believed she could give it all up in a heartbeat if it meant she could be with Leon. Naturally, she was naive about just how hard their life might be. But still, being with Leon was all she dreamed of.
But she knew they couldn’t. Leon was a gardener. And if he eloped with Hana, he would lose his job. His potential employers were all wealthy people. If he wanted other work, he would need a recommendation from the Watohs, and there was no chance they would oblige if he had run off with their daughter.
“I’m glad I came to the city.”
Leon took pride in his work as a gardener. He had worked so hard on tending Hana’s herb garden. Surely there was work for someone so knowledgeable about Eastern herbs and produce.
“I can’t. I’m so sorry. I just…can’t…so please, don’t leave me. I’m sorry, Leon. There’s so much that’s precious to me here… And I don’t think…I could live in poverty.”
She didn’t want to say that Leon wasn’t enough for her to give up everything else. So she placed the blame on herself and her family. After all, there were so many other people she cared about. This was true.
She could think of ten or twenty reasons why they shouldn’t be together, but couldn’t think of one justifying her leaving with him right here and now.
“I see. I guess you’re right. That’s probably the only way we can both be happy. I won’t lose my job. Sorry, I forgot that you actually have a family to care about, unlike me.”
For Leon, there was only one person he wanted to be with.
The realization hit Hana hard, making her feel as if her heart were being ripped out.
“This is goodbye, Hana. …This is the last time I’ll meet you like this.”
This was the first time he had called Hana by name.
She only understood once morning came just how much finality he had felt when he kissed her that night and said her name.
He had fled the manor through the night.
He cleaned out his room completely, leaving to his master only a note that said, “I quit” before disappearing into the night.