Even though his expression was so dark until just moments before, right now he looked calm, almost serene.
“If I am to be erased, I want to disappear feeling the girl I like by my side. I want to fade away feeling you with me until the very end… I’m sorry for being so selfish. Now, go on Mia, use the spell.” As if emphasizing his resolve, Ren hugged Mia all the more tightly. He seemed to have said his piece, content with his last words, so he stopped speaking.
Mia, wrapped in Ren’s arms, slowly raised her wand overhead. I have to speak the words. I have to say them! This is our wish that has burned in our hearts for so long. My father, my grandfather, my great-grandfather, all of my ancestors…they lived their lives toiling away to perfect their craft, and then they perished, entrusting that dream to the next generation…
She just couldn’t put a stop to this long chain of tradition in her own generation. She couldn’t trample on their hopes and dreams like that. For Mia, world domination was an aspiration she had to fulfill no matter what. Once again, she brought up the image in her mind.
It was one of a beautiful blue world. The sky, its colors shifting and mingling endlessly. The azure sea so clear you could see all the way to its bottom. The land with its lush greenery. Fish swimming about leisurely, all kinds of animals being born, finding a mate, giving birth to the next generation, and meeting their end. Plants growing luxuriantly, blessing all the living things with their boon, then growing old and withering. And then the next seed sprouts.
Now that she had the abundant beauty of the ideal world pictured vividly in her head, it was time for the last step. She had to pour it all into words and speak them out loud. However, right at that moment, she caught a whiff of Ren’s scent. The smell of his favorite brand of cigarettes mingling with the musky odor of a man’s body.
She hadn’t even noticed it happening, but somewhere along the way, she had begun to associate that smell with safety. She felt at ease whenever she smelled it. …She had grown to love it. She had liked it so much, she would subconsciously start sniffing at Ren to get more of it.
If she uttered the words, this smell would be gone, forever. She didn’t even know what would happen to herself, but what she did know without a trace of doubt, was that Ren’s scent would disappear. So would his arms, wrapped around her, holding her tightly, as would the silky-soft feel of his hair, his mischievous smile, his teasing words. All of that would be wiped out, once and for all.
And it wouldn’t just be Ren. Misaki, Subaru, Shou, Aya, her next-door neighbor Mrs. Ozawa, her friends from school, Sayoko, and Kana… Everyone, every single person Mia had crossed paths with in her life, all of them would be erased from existence with just a few words falling from her lips.
Thunk! The wand slipped from her now-limp hand and fell to the ground.
“I… c-cannot…”
Salty drops welled up in her eyes and started flowing in an endless stream down her face. The silent tears eventually gave way to sobs. Mia lifted her face up towards the night sky and through her convulsive cries, she repeated, “I cannot” over and over again.
“I cannot do this. I just cannot… I don’t want everyone I know to vanish! I am sorry, I am so sorry, Father… I am so sorry. But this is too much for me… I do not want to be left all alone!” Mia blubbered like a small child.
Within the safety of Ren’s arms, her face wet and puffy, the girl apologized to her father, who was always in her heart, to her grandfather, to all of her sorcerer ancestors. Though apologizing didn’t make any difference, it was the only thing Mia could do. Like a broken record, she said “sorry” time and again.
Ren trailed a gentle hand along Mia’s back in a soothing gesture. Then, he hugged her tightly. He put his strength into the hug, as if telling her with all his heart that he would never let her go, would never leave her side.
“Mia, I won’t blame you for your choice, I won’t try to stop you, whether you go through with it or not. Whatever you decide, I’ll always be right by your side. I won’t ever leave you alone. Whether we live or we disappear, we do it together. I know you hate feeling lonely. You don’t have to worry about that, I got you covered.”
Mia cried upon hearing those words. Letting out heart-wrenching sobs, she clutched Ren’s clothes in her hands.
She wept, feeling a myriad of different emotions erupt within her with explosive force, warring with each other. There was joy and relief at hearing Ren say that he would stay by her side no matter what she chose, and that he would never let her feel lonely again, but also heavy, crushing guilt. Ren kept holding her close to him and caressing her head throughout this conversation, as if he were comforting a small child or soothing a bawling baby.
“Do some soul-searching, apologize for it if you must. And amid it all, pave your own way forward. Shape the future on your own terms; forget about what the sorcerers want. Don’t worry, whatever you decide, I won’t leave your side. If thinking things through ain’t your strong suit, talk it over with someone. You’re not alone, okay? You’ve got me, and all of us Crow Rangers. …You can talk to us, I promise you we’ll listen to whatever you have to say.”
Ren’s words sizzled in her chest. The moment she felt she couldn’t go through with world conquest, she lost the very guiding principle around which her whole life had been built. She felt immense guilt towards all sorcerers throughout history, and yet she couldn’t help her own decision. She didn’t know how she should live her life from now on, but she couldn’t bring herself to choose death, either, so Mia had to continue her existence. She had to find her own path in life.
…But she wouldn’t have to do it alone. The arms that encircled her, the gentle hands, they told her she was not alone. There were people that would listen to her, people who would help her find her way through her troubles. And there was someone who had promised that no matter what choice she made, they would always be together.
“Thank you…” Mia quietly whispered the words of appreciation, tears streaming down her face.