Chapter 3: A Sense of Foreboding
"What the hell?! Two beds? Are you out of your mind?!"
Big is flipping out.
"No," I counter, "you're the one who's out of your mind. Two travelers need two beds. Obviously."
"That's ridiculous! How are we supposed to sleep together?"
"We don't."
We're back in our hotel room after dinner at the restaurant. What I really should have done was book two rooms…but there was just no way I could afford it with everything else.
She didn't look upset when I told her.
Of course, if I'm honest…
I mean really honest with myself…
I guess that I might have…maybe…wondered if we might take our relationship just a little farther on this trip…
"You coward!" She lays into me. "You don't need to drop your pants for me to know you have a flea wiener. I'd need a microscope just to see the damn thing!"
"Big, I'm sorry, but could you keep it down a little?"
Even a guy like me has some sense of propriety.
Well…no. That's probably just an excuse.
Maybe I really am scared.
Scared that I might actually hurt her.
I'm not even sure if Big really means what she's saying.
She didn't look upset when I told her about the one room, so that could at least mean she feels safe around me… right?
Maybe it was "safe" she was thinking when the word "coward" came out of her mouth.
Safe. But safe… emotionally? Or safe…physically?
Nope, I still just don't understand this girl. What is my Big really thinking?
What is she really thinking about me?
And what do I really think about her?
One thing I do know…all this thinking is definitely getting me nowhere.
"Big, we should get some sleep for tomorrow," I tell her. "Why don't you take a nice hot bath?"
"Good idea," she replies, "…and then you'll join me at some point, I presume?"
She flashes me a knowing smile.
Unfortunately, that child's body of hers is anything but sexy.
"I might…if I feel like it," I hesitate.
"Seriously? Zero interest?"
And with that, she flips me off and disappears into the bathroom.
Before I know it, her clothes come flying out from behind the door. "Here you go, chicken shit! Have fun jacking off with these!"
Thrusting her arm out with the insult, she jabs a finger angrily at the pile of clothes before slamming the bathroom door.
Come to think of it though, she was probably jabbing that finger at me.
Telling myself it's because I'm a gentleman, I begin to fold her clothes and neatly put them away.
…oh boy…
One little touch of her underwear and my whole body begins to shake.
Little Big's striped panties…still warm from her body. My heart starts pounding…
Maybe she's right. Maybe I am just a chicken shit after all.
I flip on the TV to try to calm myself down. As I stare blankly into the screen, little Big emerges from her bath.
"Whew! That felt great!" she exclaims.
✦ ✦ ✦
My Big plops on the bed with a slack expression, as if the heat of the hot bath had nearly melted her.
Her long hair is wrapped up in a bath towel, giving her a completely different look.
I should note that she already has her pajamas on…
Her favorite cat pajamas.
And they make her look pretty childish.
"Go soak in the bath,"she says. Adding ironically, "It's already been steeped in my special essences."
I pretend not to care and make my way to the tub.
After sweating it out in Big's "special essences", I return to the room to find her spread-eagle across her bed, fast asleep and breathing deeply.
"Ugh!"I exclaim.
She looks so disheveled that it just comes out.
I guess that's what happens when you trek across Tokyo getting yourself worked up all day.
She must have really been worn out.
I hope she sleeps well so that she's fully charged for tomorrow.
I crawl into my bed too, switching off the lights she left on.
I'm pretty tired myself.
"…………"
Just as I'm dozing off, teetering along the thin line between dreams and reality, I feel someone creep stealthily into my bed.
"Big…?"I mutter. "What are you doing?"
I keep my eyes closed in response to her advances.
This tiny little creature can only be my Big.
Her voice is faint and sleepy in my ear.
"Let's sleep together,"she says.
It has none of its usual dignity and poise.
"…don't try anything funny, Big,"I warn her.
"Fine, give me your hand then,"she whispers.
She feels around for it under the covers, and gently rests her small, soft palm on mine like a little marshmallow.
Again I hear her faint, sleepy voice.
"I…"she starts, hesitantly. "I hate the thought of graduating.
I'm so worried about it.
Because once I do, I won't be able to see you again."
"You know how shy I am around strangers,"she continues.
"I'm really scared to be apart from you."
"This trip is so wonderful.
If I weren't graduating, these happy days could go on and on…"
She slows her speech, carefully emphasizing every word. "I…really…don't…want…to graduate."
"Because…"she trails off, "I…am…your…"
The next thing I know, she's fast asleep.
Graduation…
Big will graduate high school.
She's just a year older than me.
Come April, she'll be a university student and I'll be a senior.
And this little trip is my gift to her before she goes.
"I also hate the idea of being apart from you, little Big,"I whisper back.
But I'm only muttering to myself.