“Just hold on a bit longer,” I told Worgin, “and I’ll cure you myself.”
I’d already tried magic, but whatever ailment he had, it wasn’t something I could deal with. Even spells that were supposed to cure any status abnormality didn’t make him feel any better. I wasn’t about to take that lying down.
Or, well, I did lie down, but only to go to the Unseen Realm to search for a solution. It was the right choice. Thank goodness for Redimir: He told me that one of the reasons Sprigians lived such long lives was because the Unseen Realm invigorated our spirits, which in turn rejuvenated our bodies. So I decided to bottle some of that rejuvenating energy and take it with me. If I put something into my inventory while I was in the Unseen Realm, I could retrieve it in the mortal realm, and vice versa. That way, I was able to create or modify things in the Unseen Realm, and move them to the mortal realm afterward. Eventually I was able to create and move things even when I was awake, but it was always easier to do while I was actually visiting the Unseen Realm. Hey, I didn’t make the rules, I just exploited them.
So I bottled the rejuvenation energy as a liquid, stocked up on chocolate, grabbed a jar of Redimir’s rose tea blend, and put it all in my inventory. Then I awakened in the mortal realm and hurried right to Worgin’s side.
“Drink this,” I instructed after I took the bottle of glowing vitality out of my inventory and pulled out the stopper.
Worgin did as I told him and drank the luminous liquid. It kept glowing even after it was inside of him, so brightly that I could see the light shining through his clothes. It happened really quickly, but his body definitely got better! The main problem was that his appearance totally changed.
Instead of an old man with a long, gray beard, now he was, um, really handsome. I mean, he was a Sprigian now, and a cute one. He had long silver hair and golden eyes, with light brown skin.
Gah! What if he thinks I did this on purpose?! I’m not trying to make a reverse harem full of hot guys! I swear! It wasn’t my fault I was surrounded by drop-dead gorgeous cuties. Okay, well, technically it was, but I hadn’t done it on purpose. I only had the purest intentions.
Ah, Bistro, I’m such an unfaithful woman. Look at me, flitting back and forth between affections. My fickle heart soars on cherub wings to wherever it feels most loved. Don’t look at me like that, Worgin, I get too much sugar in my diet as it is! Maybe I should summon a dentist soon. Oh no, what if he ends up hot too? I won’t be safe anywhere. My body instinctively wants to cuddle cuties, it won’t be denied.
I was going to need another fluff session with the Sprigarous I’d summoned. Well, technically they were Faewolves now, since I’d leveled them up past level ten, but they were still fluffy and cuddly. They didn’t really seem to mind when I called them to my room just so I could just bury myself in their fluff. In fact, they really seemed to enjoy it.
I may be addicted. Send help. I can’t stop. I won’t stop. I don’t want to stop. It’s a disease. The only way to cure the symptoms is more cuddles, but then they only come back worse the next time. No, I shouldn’t think of it as a disease, they’re the cure! The cure for adorable withdrawal symptoms. Yup, that’s what it is.
Oh, right, I should ask Worgin how he’s feeling—
“It seems to have worked, but I suppose a few side effects were unavoidable,” I said. “What do you think?”
“I’m one of you now.”
Yup, he’d noticed the side effects... He still seemed calm for now, which was good. But, oh no, what were his people gonna think? They were totally gonna assume I just brainwashed him and made him a Sprigian. They’d treat me like the villain in an alien invasion movie. I really hadn’t meant to! If their stupid doctor wasn’t such a hack, I wouldn’t have resorted to this. Maybe I should write a formal apology letter...
“Dear King Doma, sorry I turned your loyal retainer into an irresistible hottie. We’ll send pictures of the kids.” Nope! Not happening! How am I gonna explain this?
I pressed Worgin for details on his condition, and it seemed like he was feeling healthy. After that, I explained what I’d given him and why, and he seemed to understand. He flexed his bicep to show me how well he was doing, and his robe, which was now too big for him, sorta slid open. For a moment there, before I shielded my eyes, I could see the promised land... Wow, that was close. My instincts almost got the better of me, and I nearly tackled him.
I got Hammer to come in and measure Worgin for a new robe. There was a kind of huge monster in the forest called a sovereign spider, which got its name from the big yellow spot it had on its butt part that looked kinda like a crown when it was upside down. My Irregulars hunted them because their parts made good materials for weapons and armor, but apparently they could also harvest their silk, which was supertough and durable. That was what Worgin’s new robe was made from. Thankfully, it fit him perfectly, so I wouldn’t be subjected to near-certain temptation on a daily basis.
Before, I’d only thought of him as a kindly grandpa sort of character, but now that he was hot— Did that make me a bad person? It totally did, right? I was feeling super shallow. I mean, I wouldn’t say I didn’t like him before, but I certainly hadn’t been so attracted to him. There was a difference.
I totally sound like a shallow person making excuses right now, don’t I? No way! There’s nothing wrong with not being romantically interested in an old man who’s literally about to die. I mean, I went out of my way to save him, right? That shows I cared about him before, right? Gin, forgive me, I’m just a shallow little mud puddle. Please take care not to step in me as you walk the path to true happiness.
“So, what do you think we should tell King Doma about this?” I said warily.
“Everything, of course,” he replied. Gin was so loyal to the king that it made me a bit jealous.
He sat down and got ready to write a letter. A few moments later, though, when he got back up, the page was still blank.
“So, Gin?” I started.
“Gin?”
“Oh, sorry, I started calling you that in my head a few moments ago, and it just slipped out. But I was wondering if we shouldn’t just go visit the king in person.”
“Ah, I was hoping to suggest that very thing.”
“I’ll prepare some video evidence, then,” I said. “I’m looking forward to being able to speak with him without an interpreter. No offense, of course, you did an amazing job interpreting for us.”
He smiled. “None taken. I suppose I shall write a letter with a short, unsatisfying explanation, and advise His Majesty that we’ll be coming to visit.”
“Sounds good to me.”
So we decided to just explain the situation in person, since a letter probably just wouldn’t do it justice.