“Why would I—?”
“You’re going to see Souta, right? I’ll take you to him, wherever he is.”
“Why would you do that?!”
“What’s wrong with someone worrying about their friend?” he asks me with complete sincerity, looking me straight in the eye. A friend. The words throw me into confusion. Of course Souta has friends. I would worry, too, if someone didn’t show up for an important test. But if they weren’t a really close friend—
“There you are!” I hear someone shout from the ticket gate. That voice—it can’t be!
“Tamaki?!”
“Suzume!”
Tamaki charges through the crowd to reach me. I can’t believe my eyes. She’s wearing a blue knit top and a pale-pink scarf, and she has a large tote bag over one shoulder. She looks like a grown-up on vacation, but her wide-open eyes are bloodshot.
“What are you doing here?!”
“I’m so glad I found you! I’ve been searching everywhere!”
She sounds like she’s about to cry. She hugs me, pulling me away from Serizawa.
“Don’t you dare touch her again! I’ll call the police!”
“What?!” Serizawa says, staring at me in surprise. “Who’s she? Your mom?!”
“Is this the man who came to our house? He’s deceiving you, Suzume!”
“What?” Serizawa and I say in unison.
Apparently having come to her own conclusion about the situation, she pulls me toward the ticket gate.
“We’re going home!” she says.
“Tamaki, wait.”
“Hurry up!”
I stop, shaking off her arm. “I’m sorry, Tamaki. I’m not going home yet.”
Serizawa’s mouth is still hanging open. I look from him to his red convertible. What else can I do? I open the door and slide in next to him.
“Serizawa, hit the gas.”
“Huh? Oh, uh, okay!”
He turns the key like he’s just remembered where he is, and the engine roars to life.
“Suzume, wait!” Tamaki yells, running after me. The worry in her eyes is nearly crazed. She might really call the police at this rate.
“Hurry, Serizawa!”
“Suzume, get out of there this instant!”
Tamaki swings up her leg and perches one foot on the door of the convertible. Her wide-leg pants balloon with the motion.
“What the hell?!” Serizawa says, gaping.
“I’m not letting you go alone!” She hoists herself over the door and drops into the passenger seat. “Tamaki, you have to get out!”
“Suzume, just what do you think you’re doing?! Running away from home?!”
“But I texted you and everything!”
“You didn’t even answer my messages!”
“Hey now, calm down,” Serizawa says as we squabble. Commuters are frowning at us and whispering.
“Must be a lovers’ quarrel.”
“A love triangle, I’d say.”
“No, an escort and his clients.”
“Looks like a nasty fight.”
You’re all wrong! I want to scream. But just then, I hear a childish voice from behind me.
“Be quiet.”
I whip my head around. Daijin is perched in the back seat. The cat is still skin and bones, glaring at me with its yellow eyes.
“Did that cat just talk?!” Serizawa and Tamaki shout from either side of me.
“No way,” I say, smiling. “Cats can’t talk!”
They look at each other, then at the cat, and mutter, “Right, of course not!”
“Of course. A cat, talking? Ridiculous.”
“That would make no sense at all.”
To distract them from thinking any more about it, I turn on the car navigation system next to the steering wheel.
“Anyway…!”
I type in an address and tap “Go.”
“Your destination has been selected,” the automated voice replies with an inappropriate level of perkiness.
“Serizawa, please take us here,” I say.
“You’re kidding,” he says, peering at the screen. “That’s halfway across the country!”
“I thought you said you’d go anywhere.”
“Suzume, what are you thinking…?” Tamaki joins in once she sees the screen. I crawl between them to the back seat. I can’t risk catching the attention of the police and getting sent back to Kyushu. I don’t know what kind of person Serizawa is, but if he’ll bring me where I want to go, I figure I might as well take him up on the offer. And if Tamaki doesn’t want me to go alone, then she can come with us. I don’t know what Daijin is thinking, but the cat is already curled up in a corner of the back seat.
I don’t care. They can all do whatever they want; I don’t care. All I need to do is find my Gate, whatever it takes. As I buckle my seatbelt, I say to Serizawa, “Please. I have to go there.” My tone is emphatic.
“I can’t believe this…,” he says, searching my face for a minute before sighing with resignation. As he releases the parking brake, he grumbles, “We’re not going to make it back tonight.”
After pulling away from the station, Serizawa takes the convertible along a brand-new, wide road for a little while, before we pass through a tollbooth onto the Shuto Expressway and accelerate.
No one says a word.
Serizawa silently grips the wheel, Tamaki glares crossly at the cityscape, and Daijin snoozes on the seat next to me. The wind whipping into the convertible combined with the force of the car’s acceleration press me into my seat. The September morning sky is clear blue, and the wind is humid.
I let my eyes close.
Each time the car passes through the shadow of a building, strange patterns swim behind my eyelids. As I watch them, I feel the sharp outlines of my emotions melting away. My anger grows vague, and so do my anxiety and loneliness. The tension seeps from my muscles. Just for now, I tell myself from within that melting sensation. Just for now, I will allow myself to close my eyes, release my tension, and lose focus on my emotions. Just for now, I will hand everything over to the stranger driving this car and succumb to the speed of its movement. When I open my eyes again, I’ll have to face something. I’ll have to fight. A few short hours from now, I know I’ll have to confront something. But just for a little while…
…I let myself be pulled into the warm mud of sleep.