I finally found them. On the far side of the hill lined with mansions, across the Tama River, I saw the two high-rise buildings.
“There they are!” I blurted out.
The buildings were unmistakable. Which meant…
“Belle…?” a voice called from the top of the hill.
“…Huh?!”
I turned around. A small figure was standing in the street without an umbrella.
“You…came?”
It was Tomo, wearing a white hoodie.
“Tomo!”
“…Belle…!”
I started racing up the hill toward him like I was defying gravity. He ran toward me, hood up and arms outstretched. We met in the middle and hugged. His skin was so white it was nearly translucent. I was surprised by how thin he was. This frail boy clung to me, seeking my help.
“It’s okay,” I murmured, wrapping my arm around his back soothingly. “Everything is okay now.”
Watching suspiciously from the top of the hill was another boy—Kei.
“Are you really Belle?” he called.
I smiled up at him, still hugging Tomo. Kei walked slowly toward us. But midway down, he stopped and stayed there at a slight distance. I hadn’t yet gained his trust. How could I close the gap? Rain kept on falling between us.
“Hey! Where’d you two go?!”
The door to one of the fancy houses at the top of the hill was open. Their father walked out of it, yelling.
“Tomo! Kei!! Where are you?!”
Kei flinched and looked over his shoulder. His father rounded a curve and came into view.
“Kei!! Why did you go outside without my permission?!”
He strode toward us imposingly. Kei’s face stiffened. He backed away from his father as if he were being pushed by an invisible force.
“……!!”
Without thinking, I pulled both boys close and turned protectively away from their father.
“Who the hell are you?!” he yelled, grabbing my shoulder violently. “You’re the one who wrote those things online, aren’t you?!”
Once he jumped to that conclusion, anger colored his face. He shook my shoulder. I kept my arms tight around Kei and Tomo, looked at the ground, and didn’t move.
“Child abuse?! That’s a damn lie!” he screamed indignantly.
I sensed from his tone that he really did find the notion outrageous. Maybe he believed he was acting as a parent should. Maybe he believed that even as he made Kei’s and Tomo’s lives miserable.
I had to protect them. I tightened my grip around their shoulders. Kei gasped and looked up at me.
“I know this feeling…,” he mumbled, like he was remembering something.
“Kei! Tomo! Get back in the house! Do you hear me?! Listen to your father!”
The rain beat down harder. Their father gripped my shoulder and pulled again and again. I sat down on the ground, still embracing Kei and Tomo.
“Dammit, girl! Are you trying to destroy our family?!”
His claw-like fingers clutched my head and face, shaking me back and forth like a rag doll. Then he dug in his nails and dragged them upward. There was a horrifying scraping sound—the nail on his middle finger was carving out the flesh of my left cheek. A second later, pain shot through me.
“I won’t let you do it! Never!!”
He raised his fist menacingly.
I couldn’t protect them like this. I steeled my nerves, then quietly stood and turned toward him, making my body into a shield.
“……?!”
He had his fist still raised, his eyes widening in surprise.
I stood like a silent wall between him and the two boys, doing nothing to protect myself. I simply took him in with an unwavering gaze.
Rain poured down.
He must not have expected me to act like that, because he flinched and suddenly went limp. But then, his hatred seeming to surge again, he raised his fist and shook it threateningly.
“See this?!” he bellowed.
I think he must’ve lived his whole life looking down on people that way, forcing them to do what he wanted. He looked genuinely prepared to punch me. I stayed still, my eyes fixed on his. A rivulet of blood ran down my left cheek.
I refuse to let you look down on my spirit.
I noticed something shift in him. His fist seemed to weaken, like the strength had left it, and his arm began to shake. He was shaking like he couldn’t control his own body. He must have realized what was happening, because I could see him force the strength back into his hand.
“…See this?!” he thundered again, waving his fist around.
Rainwater flowed from my hair down my cheek, mixing with blood before it pooled beneath my jaw and fell in droplets.
I will not let you look down on me.
I kept staring unwaveringly up at him.
“……Agh… Aghhh!”
He seemed unable to bring his fist down on me. The shaking spread from his arm to his entire body. He staggered backward and collapsed onto the ground like his strength had abandoned him. He looked up weakly, his hair plastered to his forehead by the rain. He was no longer a grown-up or a parent, but merely a feeble, miserable man.
“Aghhh… Aghhhh…!”
Then, as if he could no longer stand to be there, he scooted backward, twisted around onto his knees, and disappeared up the hill like a man on the run.
I watched him silently. The rain had faded to a drizzle.
“…Belle,” I heard Kei say.
“……?”
He stood up and looked at me blankly.
“When you were holding me a minute ago, I finally knew. You really are Belle…”
His expression was still blank; it seemed he didn’t know how to express the emotions inside him.
“Thanks for coming. I…I really wanted you to come.”
I think it took every bit of courage he had to say that. I think he really did want me to come. I could sense it in his words.
“I wanted to meet you, Belle.”
He smiled awkwardly. I felt my body fill with warmth.
“Me too,” I said. I stepped forward and hugged him. We pressed our foreheads together like a couple. He gazed at me with gentle eyes.
“When I saw you standing up to him, I realized—I have to stand up to him, too. I’m gonna fight back.”
I closed my eyes, reflecting on everything that had happened.
“You taught me something, too,” I said. “You set my timid spirit free.”
He blushed innocently, back to being the fourteen-year-old boy he was.
“…Thank you. I love you, Belle.”
Tomo got unsteadily to his feet and said, “Belle, you…are beautiful,” while gazing at me.
He’d said the same thing to me another time. I stood there covered in dirt and blood, filled with pride and happiness at his words.
“Thank you,” I said.
The three of us hugged as a gentle rain doused us.
Today, like every day, U is packed with people from all corners of the world.
Someone is visiting for the first time, falteringly registering an account, full of expectations and fears.
Maybe that someone is you.
An automated voice is speaking.
“U is another reality. Your AS is another you. You can’t redo life in the real world. But in U, you can.”
A U-shaped moon slowly rises.
“It’s time to live as another you. It’s time to begin a new life. It’s time to change the world.”
I left Tokyo and arrived at Kochi Station in the afternoon. By the time the train for Susaki arrived at Ino Station, the sun was low in the sky.
I climbed down onto the platform. As the train pulled away, I saw Dad standing on the platform across the track.
I stared at him. He stared at me.
I had a big bandage on my left cheek. He was probably wondering what had happened. Maybe he was wondering if I’d gotten myself into something dangerous. Maybe he wanted to ask me what happened.
“…What about dinner tonight?” he said.
At first, I was caught off guard by the unexpected but at the same time totally ordinary question. Then I smiled.
“Sounds great,” I replied. He smiled, too.
“Let’s have tataki, then,” he said.
That was the end of our first in-person conversation in a long time. How many months had it taken us to manage this tiny exchange? How many years? But I didn’t care. We’d finally managed to say it: What about dinner? Sounds great. We’d finally achieved that tiny thing. I savored the weight of those words that took so long to say. Then I smiled, fully refreshed.
“It’s good to be back,” I said.
“Welcome home.” Dad returned a smile.
We exchanged relieved glances. Just then—
“Suzu!!”
—I heard Ms. Nakai calling to me from outside the station building. The choir ladies, Hiro, Ruka, Kamishin, and Shinobu had all come to meet me.
“Welcome back!!” they yelled.
We walked home slowly along the banks of the Niyodo River as the setting sun tinted the water. The choir ladies were up front and Dad brought up the rear. Hiro and Ruka were chatting like old friends behind me. Kamishin watched them, smiling.
I strolled alongside Shinobu.
“…Suzu?” he said.
“Yeah?”
“It was pretty impressive the way you went and protected those kids.”
I glanced over at him. He gave me a long look, then smiled.
“You were amazing.”
I looked up at him in a daze, feeling my cheeks flushing. Shinobu stretched his arms over his head, still walking.
“I’m finally free,” he said, looking up at the sky. “I don’t have to protect you anymore. I can just be by your side. I’ve wanted that for a while now.”
For the first time, I realized that was how he’d been feeling. I didn’t know what to say, so I gazed up at the same sky he was looking at. The sun was setting behind a cumulonimbus in the west. The golden cloud against the blue sky was bracing, invigorating.
Shinobu stopped and stared up at it. So did Hiro, Ruka, and Kamishin. Then Dad and the choir ladies did, too. Sunbeams shone beautifully from the top of the towering billows. My eyes still fixed on the sky, I silently apologized to Shinobu.
No, that’s not right.
What I needed to say to him was “thank you.” I hoped that one day I’d be able to say it to him out loud. I wanted to become the kind of person who could say that.
A gentle breeze ruffled my hair. I heard the choir ladies having a discussion.
“Why don’t we all sing something while we’re walking?”
“Good idea. We can get some practice in.”
“The fall concert is coming up, you know.”
“What should we sing?”
“That song, of course!”
“Right, of course.”
They looked back at me.
“Suzu, you take the lead!” Ms. Yoshiya said.
“Yeah, sing!” Hiro, Ruka, and Kamishin piled on eagerly.
I glanced over at Shinobu in surprise.
“I’m listening,” he said with a grin.
“…Okay!” I looked ahead, smiled, and took a deep breath. “Here I go!!”