“You are unquestionably suspicious. Especially when it comes to the security camera footage and your amnesia. But I want to place my trust in you regardless of that.”
“Why? I haven’t done anything to earn your trust, have I?”
“You have. It’s the undeniable truth that you have been pushing yourself to the brink to save everyone. And you even charged into a contaminated zone to save a student of mine you don’t even know.”
“……”
“Your amnesia and hallucinations are trivial things in the face of what you’ve done for us. As long as you stay the way you are now…as long as you are ‘Captain Kasasagi’…I am on your side,” she says with a tender smile.
I become all choked up and can’t bear to look her in the eyes. “Thank you, Miss Ena…”
I have someone who says they’ll trust me when I can’t even trust myself. I couldn’t have asked for better words of comfort at this time.
“…But what should we do now? Moribe and Ukita seriously suspect me of being a murderer, you know?”
“I know, that’s why I’m going to…” She breaks our hug and announces in a determined voice, “…go convince the two of them.”
“Wait, that’s too dangerous! Ever since the gun incident, they’ve become pretty suspicious of you too. Who knows what they’ll do to you if you go out there?”
“But what other choice do we have? The way things are now, we can’t search for AD, survivors, or an exit. Nothing will change if I don’t persuade them.”
This is definitely the worst possible situation to be in. Even if she successfully convinces the others, our AD problem won’t be solved. Everyone will be exposed to high levels of radiation in less than an hour. I’ve done everything within my power until now, but when I really think about it, not a single problem has been resolved.
None of the remaining survivors have been found, and Yuuri has practically vanished. I don’t even know where the killer with the gun is hiding. All the squadmates I should’ve been able to rely on and the people I’m supposed to save have now become my enemies.
What the hell am I supposed to do?! Is there no way for all of us to survive in this situation?! Just as my thoughts hit rock bottom, I recall what Commander Murakami said over the radio transmission in the surveillance room. His words spark to life a new possibility.
“…Ah!” The second I reach that genius idea, I smile from ear to ear.
“Wh-What’s gotten into you, Captain Kasasagi? You’re grinning for no reason,” Miss Ena asks me in a dubious tone.
“Well…I just came up with the way to solve everything, Miss Ena.”
“You did?”
“The answer was there from the very beginning. I’ve long since known the way to save everyone.”
“Wh-What are you talking about?! Why would you hide something like that?!”
“Shh!” I press my finger against my lips. Miss Ena falls silent with a start. “Don’t speak so loudly. It’s over for us if Moribe and the others catch on.”
“Is there really a way to solve things…?” She raises an eyebrow at me.
“Yeah. I’ll let only you in on it. Lend me your ear.”
Miss Ena reluctantly leans over. I bring my mouth next to her ear and softly whisper, “All it takes is…throwing away my life.” I circle behind her before I finish speaking and wrap my hands around her neck.
“Ghh!” She moans painfully, but I continue squeezing her neck anyway. “GAGH! W-W-Why?!”
“Sorry. You’d stop me if I told you, Miss Ena. I really hate to do this to you, but I need you to sleep.”
“Don’t do this… What are…you…”
Her body goes limp before long. I gently lay her down on the floor.
The usual nagging voice comes back to shout in my head. <Wh-What are you doing?!>
But it’s not surprising anymore. I leave the room without giving it the time of day.
✦ ✦ ✦
▼ 2:23 pm
Area 3, Inner Ring
I close the door behind me and destroy the electronic control button. Now anyone who comes by the room won’t be able to get in and hurt Miss Ena. She’ll be safe.
No sooner do I think that then the auditory hallucination echoes again.
<Hey, answer me! Why did you knock out Miss Ena?! What are you trying to do?!>
Hmph… I’m getting pretty close to being a crazy guy, talking back to my auditory hallucinations and all…
I answer the hallucination with a bitter smile. “You heard what I said to her. I’m going to save everyone.”
I pull a security card from my pocket—the Level N card the dead girl had on her. Commander Murakami’s words replay in my mind.
“A huge fire caused by the meltdown is still raging within Area N, where the reactor is held. The security system is going haywire because of it, making it impossible to access externally.”
The answer to our problems lay there all along. Once we put out the fires raging inside Area N, the security system will stop going haywire and the lockdown will end. My auditory hallucination seems to have picked up on my intentions because it starts rambling in a panicked voice.
<Don’t tell me you’re so insane you’re planning to go into Area N alone?!>
“I’m that insane.”
<Don’t! You’ll die! There’s no way you can put out the burning reactor flames all by yourself!>
“There’s no other option.”
<Even if you succeed in extinguishing the flames, an enormous amount of radiation is enshrouding Area N! You can inject over a dozen ampoules of AD and your body still won’t survive the damage!>
This voice has guided me more times than I can count. I defy the voice whose owner I don’t know. “…Sorry. I won’t obey your commands this time.”
<Why?!>
“Someone’s got to do it. Everyone has tried so hard to survive the last five hours, and look where it’s gotten us.”
<Are you that desperate to die?! You’re okay with dying if it means saving everyone else?!> The auditory hallucination intensely questions me.
I answer it with a wry smile. “Maybe you can’t understand, but…it’s not like I have a death wish. I just want to save everyone.”
<Huh? Why are you going so far…?>
I had the same question tossed at me a few hours ago. “But why…why are you going so far to save me?”
Yuuri’s question feels nostalgic now. She asked me that when we were crushed under the ceiling debris in the factory. It’s a memory of the time before everyone was at each other’s throats—from when we were all searching for the road to survival together.
I whisper the answer I couldn’t come up with then. “…All I’ve thought about is saving people. Ever since that moment you told me to save Yuuri.”
For me, someone with no memories of his past, the few hours since I woke up have essentially made up my entire life. The few memories I’ve recalled have all pertained to events inside LABO. This poorly lit basement facility is my entire world.
Perhaps I would’ve made a different choice if I had lived a peaceful life. But I woke up in this hellish place engulfed in fires and radiation with the responsibilities of a rescue squad captain on my shoulders.
“I just want to fulfill my duties as captain. I’m fed up with my powerless self for being on the run from fires, explosions, and smoke…but I still want to save everyone.”
I’ll leap into the inferno if I find a survivor.
I’ll search through lethal gas while holding my breath if we’re short on AD.
I’ll put my own body on the line to shield Yuuri from being crushed under debris.
That’s how I’ve put saving the lives of others first and foremost.
<……>
The auditory hallucination goes silent. I don’t blame it. Whoever the voice belongs to, they can’t understand the depths of what I’m feeling.
I’m a blank slate who was suddenly dropped into this nightmarish environment without my memories. I’m a soul who doesn’t even know a thing about myself, and yet the one thing I have to hold on to is my mission to save people.
That’s me—Watase Kasasagi.
The injuries I’ve sustained in the process of fulfilling that mission hurt again. The burns on my left hand, my cracked ribs, the lacerations on the back of my head, and the bruises all over my body cry out as painful reminders. My throat stings from thirst and vomiting, and my body feels heavier than lead from my amassing fatigue.
And still I put one foot in front of the other. Because that determination to save others is the last leg I have left to stand on after losing faith in myself.
“…I don’t want to see anyone else die. It’s just as bad if someone dies because I didn’t take action. If putting out the reactor fire is what it takes to save everyone, then that’s what I’ll do.”
Even if it costs me my life in the process.
The auditory hallucination seems to sense my resolve, because it speaks for the first time in a ghost of a voice. <…Watase, you…>
“Get it now? Please stop talking to me if you do… Talking about it will only dull my resolve,” I declare and break into a run in the direction of the area with the blazing reactor.